Yo estoy luchando.

I didn't venture over to Ixtlan to join in the party happening there this weekend. And by 'party' I'm refering to the eye-glasses clinic that is finishing up their week there. Rather I have stayed in GDL and am creating my own party, and boy have I partied!!!!! As much as I enjoy waking up on my own on Saturdays I set my alarm this time and two classmates (Anjuli and Belen) and I got into our whites and headed downtown to the Civil Hospital (Hospital Civil de Guadalajara). It's the oldest hospital in GDL and actually was originally a convent. No one told us to go, nor had anyone told us to come. We just figured we'd show up and then go from there. To our thankful delight, as we were walking up to the entrance, walking out of that same entrance was one of the surgical residents Anjuli and I had become acquainted with while doing our Surgery Guardias at the IMSS #46. We had our in. I am unbelievably excited at the prospect of getting more surgical experience. Seriously, I'd totally skip HAL next week for Hospital Civil, but I've got a bunch of extra hours scheduled that wouldn't be in my better interest to skip.

The civil hospital is right next to the University of Guadalajara (UdeG) School of Medicine and therefore us as UAG (Autonomous University of Guadalajara) students never really get placements there. That doesn't stop us!! hehe! One of the surgical residents there, a graduate of UdeG, is my age, already a resident, and his entire schooling to this point = $1,000. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I now am bald having just pulled out all my hair in frustration and exasperation!

One of the items on my 'to do' list this weekend is to finally complete an acceptable CV. A CV is basically a type of resume. This particular item has been on said 'to do' list since January. I can just never bring myself to actually do it. It is a fact that I am not the smartest, not the most experienced, not the most personable, in short, I have nothing to put on this CV to recommend me as an ideal candidate to get me back into the States. Not having this in writing helps me to look over these facts and believe that it's all in God's hands. But to have Goliath written down in black ink on white paper staring back at me......
It would be encouraging to me if perhaps David had paused when he actually saw Goliath face to face out on the battle field, but he didn't. And now Satan tells me I'm a failure because I do pause, that I allow my own insecurities to cause me to doubt even for a second.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

As a David facing Goliath I will release this stone knowing that when it lands it has hit it's mark not because of the hand that released it but because of the grace of Jesus that guided it.

Hasta!