Estoy quedandome

 Last week saw another busy call week come and go. There are busy weeks, I can handle those. But add the anticipation and anxiety of waiting for the pager to go off. The fear of missing a call. And the physical inability to sleep due to regularly spaced phone calls, and the result is rather frazzling. I can't even get a run in on those weeks, since I have to be within 10 minutes of the hospital at all times. So I bottle it up, save it for Monday. 

 I also received a phone call last week. It was from the program director of the Global Surgery Fellowship program I was to start in a few months. The same program I've been in communication with for the past four years about my matriculation. They have officially lost funding to support a fellow for the year starting in July. A part of me was expecting it I guess. The PD had been open with me about the issues he was having with securing the funds, and when he said he would know by March.... that kind of clued me in. Not in March, nothing good comes in March. I've already ridden the roller coaster once round. The failure, the disappointment, the pressure. But I'm good. Always good with Jesus beside me. Can't have growth and learning without failure. Can't have purpose without being willing to pick myself up yet again. Can't have diamonds without pressure.

In short, I was very excited for it to be Monday. Turned my music up extra loud in my car on my drive to and from Rennselaer yesterday. At home put both head phones on. Relishing in the fact that I didn't have to listen for my pager. And to run. I've only had time for quick short runs, but I take what I can get. And to sleep without interruption. Bliss.

So, as I said in the last post. Never say never.  Makes more sense now, diving into robotics. God has me staying in Lafayette a while longer than initially anticipated. hmmm, a little déjà vu? I've still work to do here. Or maybe, simply, He's not yet done working on me here. Either way, I'm here and I find peace trusting in God's delight for me, whatever that may be or come. I stay. 

Much Love.

Soy una vaquera.

 I never seriously thought of myself as a robotics surgeon. Never thought it realistic. Yet here I am, diving in and snatching up all the robotic time the OR will permit me. Ha, you know what they say about never. Never say it. Intuitive is the company that owns the DaVinci Robot we use for our cases. When presented with the option for an expense-paid masters/review course, I of course replied with, show me the dates. Easier said than done due to scheduling conflicts, but there was one 2-day course in Houston, TX that I was able to make. So taking my tech, Mackenzie, with me, we flew down for a quick trip. 

This is the console and where I sit for my robot cases. I have control of four different arms, one for a camera and three additional working arms. The viewer is a 3D viewer that I can amplify up to 40x magnification.

With my arms I control movements and a few other viewer options, and with my feet I control which arm I'm working with and any energy that I want to use. 

I was able to pick up a bucket full of ideas and helpful hints on techniques and suggestions that I will definitely be taking back to Lafayette with me. 

Andrew and Bre were another surgeon + tech team that were with Mackenzie and I for the course. Intuitive had put us all up in the same hotel, and while waiting for our driver to pick us up after our first day ended we decided not to let the rain and thunderstorms dampen our spirits and grabbed some last minute tickets to check out the Houston rodeo that was underway. 

 Smiles, despite being herded like cattle all the way from the parking lot to the rodeo. 

Like I said, herded like cattle. NRG stadium. Houston Texas.

The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. Just a small event... jk, might just be the largest program I've ever seen!

Warming up. 

Definitely in the minority without our cowboy hats, but still smiling! Me, Bre, Andrew, Mackenzie.

National Anthem

 

 

No rain in Houston after day two, so Mackenzie took a different approach to afternoon/evening passage of time and entertainment. 

Much Love.

Estoy quitando balas.

I am told that the amount of penetrating trauma in Lafayette has been increasing in the last few years. That fact is blamed on Chicago. People leave Chicago to get away, but instead the violence just follows them. This impacts our group as a whole, but as for myself, all of the GSWs that have rolled in on my time have been self-inflicted. Suicide attempt aside, these accidental self-inflicted GSWs have really started to exasperate me and if I thought I could get away with it, I'd go into a rather long rant concerning the evils of guns. I mean, sure, I can fix a bullet wound, but... I can't fix stupid.

I got to hang out with Kevin and Cheryl Ryan last week as they passed through Indy on their way down to Florida. I honestly can't remember us ever getting a picture in the 9 years that I lived out in NY. I guess it's like one of those things that you think you have time and you'll get to it, and then all of a sudden time has past, you've moved, and what you thought you had time for, never actually happened. Glad for whatever chance I have to see my Rockville family.

Much Love.

Estoy en una burbuja.

 Meet Mackenzie. She's new to my operating room bubble.

Mackenzie was hired on to specifically be my tech back in December. Her paperwork finally was cleared mid-January, so we've been working together for a couple months now. No one asked me, and no one complained, but I can only imagine. Covering any one of my partners is a full time job for a single tech, so over my first 6 months I got too busy for them to continue with sharing cross-coverage. It happened many times that I'd have to call in the covering tech who would work with me through the night, and then still have their full day covering their regular surgeon waiting for them. So now I get to rely on Mackenzie! After my LASIK, I got new protective eyewear recommended by Mackenzie, and they are fantastic. Work so much better than what I had previously been using. Sign of a good tech, pays attention to detail. :)

Mackenzie also appreciates my OR bubble soundtrack. I'll be honest, I was nervous at first. Nervous that others would not like my music, but the music is important to me. In my bubble, I loose track of the problems outside of the bubble, and its peaceful. As a med student, as a resident, and even now its the same. I step into the OR and everything is all right. I'm in my bubble. So I put together a playlist that made me happy. It's rather eclectic, and sometimes the circulator sings along. Sometimes its the anesthesiologist singing along. I smile behind my mask whenever I hear them. 

Made a quick trip over to central Illinois to hang out with my nephews and sister the other weekend. Got to introduce them to climbing! We all had a blast!

 

Much Love.