Estoy agradecida.

Thanksgiving finds me in Illinois this year. It was debatable pending how call treated me these past couple of days, but Wednesday morning found my list with only one remaining inpatient which required minimal input from a surgical perspective and therefore lessened my qualms about signing out to my partner appointed for call this week. This is the first time in the past 13 years I am within easy drivable distance of immediate family. I am thankful. 

I finished up my clinic, took care of errands, supplies for a Friendsgiving when I get back and a few other odds-n-ends before packing up my car and heading to Gridley. With all of the concern about delays in shipping continuing this year, I've completed most of my Christmas shopping already, hence why it took some time to pack up my car. That also makes for a rather confusing Thanksgiving as you don't typically wrap Christmas presents next to pumpkins and orange leaf decorations. But times are changing, and there's nothing wrong with being prepared. I am thankful. 

I was also thankful to find one of my clinic post op patient's doing well. I removed his staples and finally gave him my blessing to make the trip down to Florida, something he'd been asking for since before the surgery. This particular case is one that will stay with me for awhile, for a rather particular reason. It was a rather straightforward case, but with potential difficulty, and none of my partners or the techs were going to be available to assist me, so our PA had faithfully gowned up and stood opposite me at the operating room table. She had been nervous, but did a great job and thankfully the case went well. The recovery went even better. Don't tell the patient this, but I actually kept him in the hospital an extra day, for his own safety. See, he was doing so well, I didn't trust that if I let him go home he'd continue to take it easy, but start to try to pack up his RV. Hence his perpetual question of when he can go to Florida? It was during one of my visits to the patient's room that his wife and one of his daughters had been present. Conversation was typical concerning expectations and recommendations concerning the future. At one point, I discerned their desire to have contact information, and handed them one of my business cards. What surprised me was the reaction that act received. Our conversation actually had to stop as the wife and daughter took the card and could not focus back on our exchange until they had found a sure and safe place to keep that little piece of paper. I kept my poker face, but truthfully the reaction made me a bit uncomfortable. As fun as it was to see my name on a business card for the first time a few months ago, this was the one and only time I've actually handed it out. It makes me ask, what is my business, and why is it important to people?

To further illustrate my internal debate, the above exchange coincided with something I read in a book about Mother Teresa. She had been given a business card once, loved the idea so much that she had her own business cards made. 

The fruit of silence is prayer.

The fruit of prayer is faith.

The fruit of faith is love.

The fruit of love is service.

The fruit of service is peace.

 Her name wasn't on her business card, just her business was. The business of Jesus. What is my business, and why is it important to people? What should my business card actually say? "I love you, and Jesus loves you" or "John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."  And then this leads to my next question, would I ever have the nerve to not follow socially acceptable norms and actually use such a business card? That family has no idea what kind of internal conversation/debate they sparked within me, but we usually never do know our effect on others. Hence why we should always try to be about the business of Jesus!

Much Love, and Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Estoy descansando.

 Finished another call week. It's a nice system the practice has in place. But like any system, there are pros and cons. One surgeon is primary surgeon for an entire week. Pro: it leaves Sundays open for the majority of the group to attend church and spend time with family, etc. Con: For the primary surgeon, the burden of this lays heavily on the weekend when that one individual is taking first call for 72 hours straight. I came to a point during one of those 72 hour runs, at about 44 hours in without any rest, that I said outloud to no one in particular, "I don't know if I can do this for another day." I was being rhetorical, as I knew that I would do whatever was needed. But God heard me anyways and calmed the storm, and I was able to rest and finish that last 24hours with a smile.  Looking back, I do kind of judge myself for being so weak, and I know there was a element of fear in my sudden outburst. I had just been paged yet again about a complex surgical problem at a hospital over an hour away, and my tired brain had struggled to filter through what information was being given to me over the phone in order to make a decision. I don't know what will be asked of me in the future, but it may be that I look back on these times and laugh at my weakness to manage.  I must trust the grace of El Shaddai to be there when the patient needs a decision or pair of hands for Him to work through. As always, He leaves me no doubt that I could never have done any of this journey on my own. 

Laughing with one of my partners this morning, I confessed that I never thought I'd ever be so excited to see Monday mornings as I am after finishing a week of call. I love what I do, but there is a mental exhaustion that comes with making sure I am ready to respond at all times for 72hrs straight. And tonight I am thankful to leave my pager hanging on the wall by my door and be able to put both of my earphones in with the music playing too loud and not worry if I'm missing anything. 

Much Love.

Estoy parte de comunidad.

Community: a feeling of fellowship with others.

Our communities are very commonly defined for us, either by geographical boundaries, religious beliefs, language, and education are just a few easy examples. Then some communities expand beyond borders and can span across language or even time. Those communities can have an elephant effect on our culture, our country, and our world. But very frequently, and I know I am guilty of this, an individual's role in such a community is non-committal, for better or worse. On the other hand, some communities are close, small and the immediate spheres through which we live and work on a daily basis. Finding these communities and moving between communities has a strong impact on our comfort and our happiness as they give us a sense of belonging. And with belonging, we receive a sense of responsibility for each other and the importance of maintaining connection with each other in order to preserve this validation of who we are.  

When one moves to a new geographical location. Those smaller and immediate spheres of community have to be rebuilt and developed from the ground up. As an Apostolic Christian, one of those spheres, and arguably the most important, is ready and waiting. It helps with the daunting process of rebuilding the rest. My most recent move to Indiana presented me with a few new challenges as I worked through the process of finding and developing my new communities. 

This move is the first time that I am in a geographical location in which there is an overlap between my work community and my church community. I had up to this point, always been able to safely separate and disconnect those two worlds in my mind and my life before. It was also the first time in my life that I found myself standing at a starting line with no one to my right or left. No fellow classmates, or no co-residents in the trenches with me here. It's a new kind of alone. 

Thankfully, I know I am never alone, and honestly we are all searching for community. However, these new challenges have got me appreciating even more all past communities and relationships with which God has blessed my life. Some God used to drastically change my perspective, my behaviors and my life. I am who I am today because of these communities. 

This past weekend I was able to visit with Regg & Bev Beer and their tribe. Regg & Bev were my brother and sister in Ixtlan. Regg & I were in Mexico for roughly the same four year time span, Bev moved down for the last two years after they were married. Honestly, they probably wouldn't be able to shake me even if we only knew each other as general acquaintances through A.C. connections; they are just that kind of awesome. But when you can start a conversation with "Remember that time in Mexico when..." "Remember the tacos at the plaza..." "Remember when Jan..." Thankfully they let me keep dropping by, and even though my last visit was before the pandemic, the older boys are starting to remember me!

Two baseball players, a superhero, a pumpkin, and a cow. Between my sister's and these guys, I got to experience Halloween like a little kid this year. Very fun surprise!

Tucker, Cooper, Colton, Trace & Boyd. Not too many obvious differences between these two pictures. But I loved them both for one particular reason. In the picture on the left Boyd has his adorable little smile, while on the right he has a very characteristic facial expression in which he raises his left eyebrow. Before he got used to me, he'd walk around with his left eyebrow cocked as if he had a perpetual question, an expression I saw much less as the weekend continued.

Trace didn't remember me from my last visit, but I hadn't been in the house 5 minutes and he was crawling up my pant leg to sit with me on my stool. Such cute little buddies.

 

 

Guess how much time between above and below!  Bev & I.

 

lol, above = Indiana 2021, below = Guadalajara 2010. 

Much Love.