Yo estoy un tesoro.

Last night I tried writing a few anecdotes of recent events.  But I'd read back over what was written and there was a sharp undertone present maybe even a touch of cynicism. I'd try rewritting or rewording but couldn't get rid of it.  Granted I recognize that what I say in my head is not always how it sounds to someone else.  But this time I did not want to take the chance that someone else could hear the cynicism I was trying to cover up.  So I shut down the computer and went to bed without posting anything. 

I knew that if I was to say something it's always best to be honest.  Trying to word something in a way to cover up what you're really trying to say may fool yourself....but no one else.  And honestly, I knew where the sharp undertone was coming from.

Satan never leaves a believer alone.  He's always there with some temptation, some lie, some doubt to throw at us.  And for the past couple of weeks he's been trying to convince me that it's okay for me to feel sorry for myself.  It made me so mad.  I know I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, but I'm assuming that a part of me was giving into him because he kept up with the gnawing thought.  And it was coming through in my daily life.  A poor service I've been to my Lord and Savior lately.  I was hiding in a bathroom for pete's sake!!  I was in effect thinking only of me, of myself.

So enough already.  God is good always.  God is love always.  And where I am right now is where I am to serve.  Not when tomorrow comes.  Not after my test.  Not after the next bend in the river.  But right now and everyday thereafter.

The following song came on Pandora just now, and I thought it appropriate. "My Own Little World" by: Matthew West

....
Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me
....


So, I'm sorry there's no anecdotes this time.   But I figured, I'd better stop giving into this feeling-sorry-for-myself nonsense sooner rather than later, before I find myself hiding in the janitor's closet or something!

Have a wonderful week!

Hasta!