DONE

I went to HAL today and took my last exam of medical school.  And then I left… for the last time.  Of all the emotions I could possibly be feeling right now, I’m more somber than anything…almost as if I’m stunned.  It’s so hard to believe.  Did that really just happen?  Did I really just finish medical school? 

 I’d woken up early for some last minute cramming this morning and it hit me.  I started tearing up humbled by the realization and by seeing God’s grace so much more evident in retrospect.  He was right there the whole time.  The times I clung to him so incredibly alone.  The times I cried out so incredibly lost and confused.  The times I planted my feet, crossed my arms and glared so incredibly frustrated.   If I am anything, I AM HIS.  And this is for Him.  I pray with all my heart that as this dance continues onto the next step, He will continue by my side molding me into what He deems useful.

Hasta!

Medical School.  Been there. Done that.  (hehe, sorry. couldn't resist)

Yo estoy dentro del viento.

Don't worry.  I'm calmed down so no venting this post.  Just got back from the boxing class at the gym with Vero, and it felt like....relief?  I hadn't been in probably about a year and the boxing coach still remembered me.  Normally he would have technique or stance tips for me as he made his rounds.  Tonight he and Vero would just make fun of the faces I was making and cheer me on yelling, harder! harder!  I had no problem obliging them.

We had our class pictures yesterday.  First round in white.  Second round in our togas.  It was horribly uncomfortable as they were outside and they set us up facing into the sun.  They took a good amount and you'd have to hold your position sweat pouring down you.  To top it off I was trying to walk around in heels.  I got a few approving comments..totally fed my girl ego hehe, but still couldn't wait to get them off.  The great thing about class picture time was that in spite of the horrible conditions everyone was happy, and cheering, and wooping.  I'd say it was even fun.  It was a reason to laugh.  Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if none of the pictures actually turn out (there's bound to be a handful with their eyes closed in every one).  But that's okay.  And if you look close enough you'll notice that half of us aren't actually wearing our tassels in the toga picture (that's another story) but that's okay too.  I'd say it would represent us well just like that. ;)

Hopefully I can get ahold of some pictures from the shoot!

Hasta!

Yo estoy pasando.

This week was the week of finals for those that were in Puerto Rico for the semester, for those that did electives in Mexico, and then for those others that fall between the lines...like me.  Of the six I only took the two that were today.
1. First was the Emergency Medicine exam.  I went into that exam with perhaps a combined grand total of 9 hours I had studied throughout the past week.  So basically I hadn't studied.  Yes that makes me a bad student, but I consciously made that decision.  I studied for my other exams instead.  I reasoned that if by the end of four years of medical school I can't handle a basic emergency medicine test...well then I don't deserve to pass it.
2. Second was the Trauma exam.  Unlike in the US, Trauma here in Mexico is synonymous with Orthopedics.  So even though I did Trauma in the US......I've never actually taken care of an Orthopedics patient nor even studied the topic.  Make more sense why I opted to study for Trauma over ER?  I got a 60% on that exam, and let me tell you I have never ever been so proud of a 60% in my life.  I could have danced out of that room.  Honestly, I'd probably have been fine even if I hadn't passed...it's UAG, but I hate that and wanted to actually deserve to pass.

With each of these exams accomplished I feel like my courage is growing.  I'm actually starting to believe that I'm gonna get out of UAG.  I know I shouldn't be so hard on UAG, I just have a really hard time helping it.  For example, the other day I watched the video below and in my head I started replacing "the World" with UAG.  I know it doesn't really fit, but if you say it as a Mexican (as a word instead of letters, kind of like ooag) it's not as awkward.
The Newsies are singing about fighting against the powers that be.  Maybe Crutchy says it best with "And we'll kick their rear!"  :) I'm not exactly fighting against UAG....in fact I've done nothing but jump as high....as ridiculously high, as they've asked for four years now that I harbor the exact same sentiment the Newsies have, ENOUGH!

Yo estoy excesiva!

hmmmmm.  not really sure what exactly just happened there.  I guess subconsciously I really really really wanted you to watch that video 4 times.  No, just kidding.  I really don't know what happened.  But someone on my street was practicing the saxophone and I thought I'd share a bit of my study break with you.  That's all.  Enjoy!

Yo estoy escuchando el saxofón.

Yo estoy tratando enfocarme.

"Sometimes time passes quickly," said the giraffe.  Unfortunately for the baboon this is not one of those times, poor baboon. 
No I'm not quoting something....just trying to make life interesting.  It worked....kind of....for a second or two at least.
I'm passing my days trying to finish out the semester.  Prioritize my studying.  Remain positive.  And all that.

Palliative care has turned into a thorn in my side. I scheduled hours at a hospital on a Saturday.  Spent two hours getting lost until I finally arrived to discover the doctora wasn't there that Saturday.  (Good thing I didn't have a gun..I'd have shot somethin'!!!)  I returned home after wasting the entire morning and packed a bag to head to Ixtlan.  Was on my way and got a text from the doctora saying 'Sorry, Can you come tomorrow instead?'  (once again, good thing I didn't have a gun!)  Then I had a shorter pain psychology session at HAL which I was told the wrong time for.  I handed in all the work I was told to do and then was sent away with more work.  Tried turning all that in and was given still more work.  Ahhhhh!  That was three times in a row I was told "All your missing is, blah blah blah."  I turn in blah blah blah, and whoops "why don't you do this too."  Frustrating because with finals and partials approaching I just wanted to get pain out of the way so I wouldn't have to pay attention to it while studying. AND they weren't letting me do that.  And then frustrating turned to mad when last Friday the work they assigned me was to watch a movie and hand in a review about it.  To be honest, I was mad because it felt immature and a waste of time to be ASSIGNED a movie review at this point of a medical education.  One can learn from movies, but in this particular case, the movie was about death and Shintoism burial rituals, and the underlying message was that death is not the end, but rather just a door.  DUH!!!  I could have written the review without the 2 1/2 hour movie. So now I've got this movie review saved on the computer and have had it so since last Friday.  Just not in a hurry to hand it in so they can say....now do this too....for the 4th time.

Last week I gave a presentation for Urology.  The whole presentation a guy in the back stared at me smirking.  I had to consciously keep from looking in his direction cause everytime I saw the smirk I wanted to smack him.  Today his turn came up to present.  I contemplated returning the favor and after trying to smirk realized that a true smirk really isn't a facial expression that can be consciously reproduced.  So I gave up contemplating and focused instead on trying to keep my eyes open.

Study break over....

Hasta!

Yo estoy la rana verde.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful moms I know.  The new ones, the experienced ones, the mothers to few, the mothers to many.  You all are special.

Here in Mexico, Mother's Day is always on May 10th.  So last Thursday my friends kept asking me if I'd wished my mother a Happy Mother's Day.  To say no that I hadn't got me looks from people that said..."Wow! Never would have pegged you as cold and heartless."  Ouch!  But really.... if I'd posted Happy Mother's Day last Thursday instead of waiting until today, pretty sure I'd have gotten corrected somehow more than once...so I went ahead and waited until today.

So Mom, your "cold and heartless" daughter loves you.  Happy Mother's Day.

Hasta!

Yo estoy mirando.

In consult the other day (although we weren't technically "consulting" because we didn't have a patient) my Latin classmates were talking about sneakers and one mentioned he liked the sneakers made with peanuts.  The others contradicted his opinion, but I lost track of the conversation because I wondered how in the world someone came up with a shoe made out of peanuts.  I tuned back into the conversation and it wasn't but 2 seconds and I realized they were talking about Snickers.  Ooooooh!  Candy not shoes afterall; talk about lost in translation.  Snickers with a Spanish accent = sneakers.

I sold my bed yesterday!! I'm so thankful to be getting rid of all this stuff!  So I'm back to sleeping on the floor for the next 4 weeks....seems to be a theme with me this semester.  If you add it up I'll have spent more time sleeping on the floor than in a bed this semester.  I've got my air mattress blown up so I'm not directly on the tile.  I think it's kind of appropriate I started in my apartment 3 1/2 years ago with this air mattress so now I get to end the same way.  I remember that January 2009. It was freezing in GDL.  Seriously temps actually got down to 32 at night more than once.  Meaning my apartment which had absolutely no furniture in it but a folding chair and an air mattress was an ice cube.  I'd be in layers with every single blanket I'd brought down covering me and still shiver myself to sleep.  That might have been the worst winter I ever survived.  Who'd ever believe a winter in Mexico to be worse than Illinois were the houses have carpeted floors and central heating...who'd ever?  I've been scared of winter in GDL ever since but thankfully 2009 never repeated itself.  Praise Jesus!  Anyways, back to the bed.  Once I got my bed and started sleeping off of the floor it was a noticeable difference in warmth so I was excited at the prospect of that same effect in reverse.  And I have to say that even though I still had to sleep without covers I at least wasn't sweating when I woke up this morning.

Eventhough it's definitely hot during the day it still gets down to about 60 by 6:00 am so it's a nice chill as I head to HAL.  Most are wearing some sort of jacket or coat but I refuse.  I pull on a short sleeved shirt and hope that the chill gets all the way to my bones, but the sun always comes out before that ever happens. 

The last couple of days I've been waking up extra early to work on a presentation.  This morning as my alarms started going off I was confused to hear a roommate knocking on the door of another trying to wake her up.  I wondered why they were waking up so early but not enough to actually ask them.  Turns out they hadn't ment to wake up so early but a rat had decided otherwise.  Roommate #1 had been woken up by a rat on her bed scratching her arm.  Oh lordy!  All the lovely surprises this place has that I just won't miss when I'm gone.  Maybe I'm speaking too early.  What's to say my small 16' x 18' studio in New York isn't cockroach and rat infected?

I picked up my graduation invitations today before leaving HAL.  I hadn't been in GDL when the class meeting was held and everything was voted on, but I'm told they requested the invitations to be printed in English.....they're in Spanish.  Way to go UAG!  Each class votes for a padrino, kind of like a faculty member to honor.  Turns out at the meeting they'd voted for Dra. Prado yet the invitations are printed with a Dra. Montano as the padrino.  You're on a roll UAG!! I'm thankful I at least know Dra. Montano.  I had her as a doctor when I rotated through Pulmonology back in 5th semester, but we all called her Bernadette.  I did like her though.  So I guess I'm going to roll my eyes, type up a translation, and then save one invitation for myself and let the others sit on my desk until they eventually find their way to the trash.

Hasta!

Yo estoy aguantando mi respiracion....hasta graduarme.

This last month is a great big juggling act. I'm in urology and pain management rotations. However, pain and urology are not ment to be rotated through at the same time so of course my hours for both overlap. So I spent a good portion of this morning working with various doctors to get it sorted out. It doesn't help that I am going to have to end urology early, but won't have that schedule until next week. Sigh. Thankfully though, for the first time in a whole year I was actually on the schedule at least, meaning I was already issued a list number, and it was a list number that lined up with actividades already on the schedule. I had stopped by the escolar office last week while at HAL to get put on the list for these rotations, and was completely shocked to discover they already had me on the respective lists. I had started hyperventilating I was in such shock. This morning was the first time of my entire 4th year I knew where I was supposed to be and when to be there to start my rotation.....of course I didn't know anything after that but I at least knew when and where to start. Although for pain it ended up not really mattering because of the conflicting schedules my pain schedule has been 100% changed. Basically in place of HAL hours I'll have to find my way to a hospital way outside of GDL (in Tlajomulco) to do hours on Saturday. I'm actually a little excited about this opportunity because it's a brand new hospital (less than a year old) with no residents, interns nor students meaning I'll basically get free range to do whatever I want to do...like find myself in the ORs maybe! ;)

I stopped by the escolar office once again today to pick up my carga academica; basically a piece of paper that proves I'm actually enrolled in classes. Sometimes you have to show it to take an exam, sometimes not, depends on the rotation. Anyways I picked mine up, signed for it, turned to leave and then froze in the doorway. My carga academica reported a 5 for my entire last semester. I blinked thinking maybe I'd read it wrong, but I hadn't. Truely enough it was a 5 staring back at me from that yellow piece of paper. 5 = FAIL...NO PASS. 1st reaction: haha...haha...nice joke. 2nd reaction: wait, why would someone joke about this. 3rd reaction: accident?... panic...mistake maybe?...panic 4th reaction: crud
I asked the ladies about it, and with a check of their computers they could at least tell me why my 7th semester was registering as a 5. I was thankful it was a problem I could set about fixing immediately, but at the same time I was annoyed because it was a problem I had spent 3 weeks fixing last semester but had no actual paperwork to prove I'd already fixed it. I found my way to the office the escolar directed me to and then settled into a chair prepared to wait for hours if need be as the doctora I needed to talk to wasn't coming for another two hours and whomever the secretary was trying to call wasn't answering their phone. But praise Jesus, within 15 minutes the secretary suddenly told me to head back to the escolar and they'd give me a new carga.

It's why I call it a juggling game. How many more curve balls is UAG going to throw at me? I feel like I have to tip toe through these last weeks. Nearing the end of the semester leaves such little time to fix "curve ball" problems.

Hasta!