We ended Daylight Savings Time in Mexico this past weekend. I thoroughly loved the extra hour of sleep although I didn't exactly sleep through the whole night. I found myself in a dream that seemed to drag on forever and get no where. I was being chased by a bad guy (or at least I assume he was a bad guy) through a skyscraper that was being built. So it was empty floor after empty floor. Lots of stairs and lots of scrambling up, over, under, and around. I had finally lost him and made it outside and across the street. Met up with the other people that were also being chased, but instead of rushing into the building across the street to hide we stopped and looked back. Stupid! because the bad guy saw us. We turned to continue our escape but split up, them running in on the ground floor and I taking some stairs up. But I was tired of what seemed like hours of trying to run away and I suddenly realized that the building I was heading into was more of what I had just exited, so....I decided to wake up instead.
So, as you can see I didn't sleep the night through, but upon waking after my dream I laughed at myself turning over to go back to sleep. As if by going back to sleep I was somehow getting the better of myself. Telling this story just now I am realizing for the first time that I had laughed at myself as if myself was someone else. Oh dear, I need to refresh my memory of what age dissociative disorders typically appear. We've always joked that we're crazy to be here in GDL, but split-personality crazy?
Closing ceremony for the Panamerican Games 2011 Guadalajara was yesterday. I didn't go to a single game as I had hoped, but am too preoccuppied currently to actually lament that fact. They were over really fast, but I'm glad. Now I can drive in the "exclusive" lane for the panamericans and not worry that I'm doing something bad....not that I really worried about it before either. :)
There was a tragedy today. I don't know details but my 7th semester Latin companions lost a classmate today. My guess is that it was a car accident based on the timing. Something like that just sobers everyone up. Some were crying, no one was laughing.
Hasta!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Yo estoy intentando abrir mis ojos.
Even after making the extra visit to the Endocrinology office last Friday I still had to go back today. I'm always amazed anew with how such disorganization is functionable.
The schedule I was content to set for myself this rotation, I'm already begining to realize it's going to have to be reworked. The rotation itself is a tad lighter on the workload, but at the same time right in the middle of the rotation I have a week of exams covering all the subjects that I rotated on outside of HAL...going all the way back to July when I did Nutrition in Boston. Sooooooo, not really much lighter at all. These exams are in the middle of my rotation because that is when all my classmates who spent the semester doing co-op in Puerto Rico are going to be here, so we all take these exams together, or at least the ones we need to take. I'll just need to take 3 out of the 6.
I was happy to see that I rotate with a few friends I made last rotation. It's a funny and friendly clique of girls that refer to themselves as "Monicas". I joined their group to review clinical cases and when groups were asked to name themselves endocrine-accordingly it took us all of two seconds to call ourselves Las Pituitarias (The Pituitaries). No reason really except that it's a bit funny to say.
It's been awhile now since I've realized that the horrible bags marking lack of sleep have returned under my eyes. A fact which I just forced myself to forget about as there's nothing really I can do about it. But lately I roll out of bed (or off the bed if I didn't quite make it into the bed the night before) in the morning and feel as if my eyes are swollen shut, and a quick physical exam in the mirror tells me that I'm not just imagining it. They get better with a few rubs, a few blinks, and a bit of coffee. But it just makes me wonder....swollen eyes in the morning isn't exactly a typical physiological manifestation. I'll give it some more time, see if it stops happening on it's own, or if I should exchange wondering for worrying.
Hasta!
The schedule I was content to set for myself this rotation, I'm already begining to realize it's going to have to be reworked. The rotation itself is a tad lighter on the workload, but at the same time right in the middle of the rotation I have a week of exams covering all the subjects that I rotated on outside of HAL...going all the way back to July when I did Nutrition in Boston. Sooooooo, not really much lighter at all. These exams are in the middle of my rotation because that is when all my classmates who spent the semester doing co-op in Puerto Rico are going to be here, so we all take these exams together, or at least the ones we need to take. I'll just need to take 3 out of the 6.
I was happy to see that I rotate with a few friends I made last rotation. It's a funny and friendly clique of girls that refer to themselves as "Monicas". I joined their group to review clinical cases and when groups were asked to name themselves endocrine-accordingly it took us all of two seconds to call ourselves Las Pituitarias (The Pituitaries). No reason really except that it's a bit funny to say.
It's been awhile now since I've realized that the horrible bags marking lack of sleep have returned under my eyes. A fact which I just forced myself to forget about as there's nothing really I can do about it. But lately I roll out of bed (or off the bed if I didn't quite make it into the bed the night before) in the morning and feel as if my eyes are swollen shut, and a quick physical exam in the mirror tells me that I'm not just imagining it. They get better with a few rubs, a few blinks, and a bit of coffee. But it just makes me wonder....swollen eyes in the morning isn't exactly a typical physiological manifestation. I'll give it some more time, see if it stops happening on it's own, or if I should exchange wondering for worrying.
Hasta!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Yo estoy malhumorada.
It was going to be a beautiful day. Friday. Last test over. Going to Ixtlan tomorrow. What could go wrong?
Tuesday I had gone to the 'escolar' to get put on the list for my next rotation in Endocrinology. After the test today I went to the Endocrine department office to make sure everything was in order due to a hunch (from much experience)that things would not be in order. A hunch which of course proved to be true. Thankfully the secretary and one of the endocrine doctoras spent a few minutes and actually gave me a complete schedule for my rotation. Very thankful for them doing that for me, but why I'm so malhumorada right now is because to my chagrin I watched as they randomly stuck me in groups to rotate with instead of sticking me on the end like the last rotation had done. I just spent the last 5 weeks trying to get to know one group of classmates which in 5 weeks I've just barely achieved. And now, I've got to start allllllll over again. Noooooooooooooo!!! Just when I'm about to reach a level of comfortability, God rips it away. Nope! Got to keep this one on her toes, he says!
Really?! But why?! My toes are really starting to hurt!!!
Either way, when all's said and done, I am very sad to not be able to rotate with those I've been getting to know over the past 5 weeks, but at the same time I wonder what new characters Monday will bring.
And finally here's a few pics from last weekend/Monday.
I know it's cliche but I went to the mall on my birthday. Going to the mall to hang out! I never even did that back in the States! I went with Vero, her cousin Jesus (Chuyito), and his girlfriend Iliana.
Pool! The winning team.....maybe! A few rules may have been momentarily repealed throughout the game.
Basketball! I had high score of the entire night. WooHoo!
Air Hockey!
Then back to the house for DUTCH BLITZ!! L to R around the table: Me, Jennifer, Diego, Hector, Vero, Adriana
After Blitz. Everyone liked the cookies I made Carrie! They turned out nice and soft! L to R: Ninos, Jennifer, Veronica, Me, Josue, Hector
Monday night, a small group of friends took me to dinner. L to R: Veronica, Jennifer, Hector, Iveth, Me, Josue, Jason (Lety and Matt had already gone home when we took the picture.)
And then they had gotten me an ice cream cake from DQ! So exciting! But we cut into it to discover that the entire layer of crunchy chocolate with fudge had been left out! It was still delicious, but just not the same!
Hasta!
So I guess I'm not so malhumorada anymore.
Tuesday I had gone to the 'escolar' to get put on the list for my next rotation in Endocrinology. After the test today I went to the Endocrine department office to make sure everything was in order due to a hunch (from much experience)that things would not be in order. A hunch which of course proved to be true. Thankfully the secretary and one of the endocrine doctoras spent a few minutes and actually gave me a complete schedule for my rotation. Very thankful for them doing that for me, but why I'm so malhumorada right now is because to my chagrin I watched as they randomly stuck me in groups to rotate with instead of sticking me on the end like the last rotation had done. I just spent the last 5 weeks trying to get to know one group of classmates which in 5 weeks I've just barely achieved. And now, I've got to start allllllll over again. Noooooooooooooo!!! Just when I'm about to reach a level of comfortability, God rips it away. Nope! Got to keep this one on her toes, he says!
Really?! But why?! My toes are really starting to hurt!!!
Either way, when all's said and done, I am very sad to not be able to rotate with those I've been getting to know over the past 5 weeks, but at the same time I wonder what new characters Monday will bring.
And finally here's a few pics from last weekend/Monday.
I know it's cliche but I went to the mall on my birthday. Going to the mall to hang out! I never even did that back in the States! I went with Vero, her cousin Jesus (Chuyito), and his girlfriend Iliana.
Pool! The winning team.....maybe! A few rules may have been momentarily repealed throughout the game.
Basketball! I had high score of the entire night. WooHoo!
Air Hockey!
Then back to the house for DUTCH BLITZ!! L to R around the table: Me, Jennifer, Diego, Hector, Vero, Adriana
After Blitz. Everyone liked the cookies I made Carrie! They turned out nice and soft! L to R: Ninos, Jennifer, Veronica, Me, Josue, Hector
Monday night, a small group of friends took me to dinner. L to R: Veronica, Jennifer, Hector, Iveth, Me, Josue, Jason (Lety and Matt had already gone home when we took the picture.)
And then they had gotten me an ice cream cake from DQ! So exciting! But we cut into it to discover that the entire layer of crunchy chocolate with fudge had been left out! It was still delicious, but just not the same!
Hasta!
So I guess I'm not so malhumorada anymore.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Yo estoy desahogandome!!!
I'm in the middle of a string of exam days so should be hard at the studying, but I just got done with a Pepsi kick a little bit ago so am under the impression that I have extra energy and therefore time to do a quick blog post.
With exams on the brain I just wanted to vent my frustration about UAG testing. I have a perfect example to help explain. To date the best I've been able to explain is that I can study for UAG exams but then I would fail the USMLE. Or, I can study for the USMLE but then I would fall my UAG exams. If that doesn't make sense to you, then you understood perfectly. It doesn't make sense at all. A medical school education should in fact be preparing a student for their future liscencing exams, and not hindering progress towards that goal. The other day we were in a lecture about Typhoid Fever. The doctora flat out told us that the Salmonella level to inoculate is 10^3, but if you get a question about that on the exam you'll need to answer 10^5. GAAAHHHHHH!!! See what I mean?!?! You can't just study and pass these exams; you have to study specifically for the UAG exam and then with what time is left over switch gears and study completely differently for the USMLE.
I'm still struggling along with my Spanish. One friend from my class in particular speaks so fast I frequently get lost. He probably does it on purpose cause he thinks it's funny. He'll laugh at me and tell me, "You don't speak Spanish." But even though my Spanish isn't getting better, I think I'm calming down a little bit....a LITTLE bit, about it. I went back to completely presenting my articles in Spanish, titles and all! :)
Alllllllrighty! gotsta study!
Hasta!
With exams on the brain I just wanted to vent my frustration about UAG testing. I have a perfect example to help explain. To date the best I've been able to explain is that I can study for UAG exams but then I would fail the USMLE. Or, I can study for the USMLE but then I would fall my UAG exams. If that doesn't make sense to you, then you understood perfectly. It doesn't make sense at all. A medical school education should in fact be preparing a student for their future liscencing exams, and not hindering progress towards that goal. The other day we were in a lecture about Typhoid Fever. The doctora flat out told us that the Salmonella level to inoculate is 10^3, but if you get a question about that on the exam you'll need to answer 10^5. GAAAHHHHHH!!! See what I mean?!?! You can't just study and pass these exams; you have to study specifically for the UAG exam and then with what time is left over switch gears and study completely differently for the USMLE.
I'm still struggling along with my Spanish. One friend from my class in particular speaks so fast I frequently get lost. He probably does it on purpose cause he thinks it's funny. He'll laugh at me and tell me, "You don't speak Spanish." But even though my Spanish isn't getting better, I think I'm calming down a little bit....a LITTLE bit, about it. I went back to completely presenting my articles in Spanish, titles and all! :)
Alllllllrighty! gotsta study!
Hasta!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Yo estoy creciendo con los pepinos.
My Birthday Weekend is over. Back to reality. Back to studying. But, wait a second...what's that? New boots?!?! New snow boots?!?! I debated about it and finally decided to buy myself a birthday present this year. Those boots went on a long journey to get to me, but actually arrived on the 16th. I'm kiiiiind of excited about them. Excited enough to do a photo shoot for the blog!!!! WooHoo! Now I've just got to find some snow!! ;)
I bought a cucumber!!
When I moved here I didn't like cucumbers. I don't know when it changed, but I like them now. I mentioned that to Jan, and she said it's probably because cucumbers are better in Mexico. She wasn't joking....you really can find superior fresh fruits and vegetables in Mexico. So I finally bought my first cucumber forever solidifying a connection in my brain between cucumbers and Mexico.
Hasta!
P.S. I'll do a more thorough post with pictures from this past weekend when I have more time next weekend.....hopefully.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Yo estoy esperando.
The sun came out again today after 2-3 days of hiding behind Hurricane Jova. The constant rain definitely cooled GDL down. Not only did I finally get to sleep under a cover but by Wednesday night I already needed a blanket in addition to the sheet! We'll see what happens now with the sun warming it up and drying everything off....almost as if it's welcoming the thousands of visitors arriving for the Panamerican games. My roommate, Josue, somehow had the right connections and got a free ticket for the opening ceremony tonight. I.Am.Jealous. but not so much that I can't be really excited for him.
Wednesday we had off. So I stayed in my room all day studying. We were in the middle of Jova then so it rained all day. Included in my soundtrack for the day was Placido Domingo. There is a partial memory that I have and it's the oddest partial memory because try as I might I can't complete it. Placido Domingo reminds me of Fall and the old red carpet in our house. I know my family is there, but can't see them. Listening to him sing I try to see who exactly is in that memory with me and what the significance of it is, but always end up with the same result. Fall....I think primarily because of the lighting and temperature of the memory, and the red carpet...it's the only obvious thing in the memory that I can actually see. I've tried imagining different scenarios that took place in that memory, but nothing fits. What I decided on Wednesday while listening (without any success in creating a picture) was that I can't complete the picture of this memory because it's not a visual memory. It's more a feeling. A warm feeling. Almost as if I had understood for the first the blessing of being a part of a family, having a home, and knowing there's love in that home. Now, I don't know why Placido Domingo singing Perhaps love brings this memory to mind.....but it does, red carpet and all. That's okay with me, he can keep singing.
Hasta!
Wednesday we had off. So I stayed in my room all day studying. We were in the middle of Jova then so it rained all day. Included in my soundtrack for the day was Placido Domingo. There is a partial memory that I have and it's the oddest partial memory because try as I might I can't complete it. Placido Domingo reminds me of Fall and the old red carpet in our house. I know my family is there, but can't see them. Listening to him sing I try to see who exactly is in that memory with me and what the significance of it is, but always end up with the same result. Fall....I think primarily because of the lighting and temperature of the memory, and the red carpet...it's the only obvious thing in the memory that I can actually see. I've tried imagining different scenarios that took place in that memory, but nothing fits. What I decided on Wednesday while listening (without any success in creating a picture) was that I can't complete the picture of this memory because it's not a visual memory. It's more a feeling. A warm feeling. Almost as if I had understood for the first the blessing of being a part of a family, having a home, and knowing there's love in that home. Now, I don't know why Placido Domingo singing Perhaps love brings this memory to mind.....but it does, red carpet and all. That's okay with me, he can keep singing.
Hasta!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Yo estoy cansada.
Back in Guadalajara. Sad I can't help the whole week in Michoacan. Thankful to be able to help a least a few of the days.
Here's the team: L to R: Don Katanic, Dr. Lee Klopfenstein, Jamie (?), Rita Knobloc, Me, Ada & Don Plattner
Hasta!
Here's the team: L to R: Don Katanic, Dr. Lee Klopfenstein, Jamie (?), Rita Knobloc, Me, Ada & Don Plattner
Hasta!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Yo estoy en control.
The medical/dental team is in Michoacan this October. (I joined them last October when they were in Guanajuato too.) So I packed up after the hospital today and headed over. I'll be staying in Ixtlan and helping with the team through Monday.
It's been three weeks now with the Latin Program. Today was a good day in a sense that I could see some progress made in my horribly meager efforts to integrate. And I call them horribly meager because I hardly actually talk with any of them. I realize this is a problem, and repeatedly make up my mind to do better in the area. I'll see an opportunity to start a conversation, and then stop in my tracks realizing I have no idea what to talk about with them. We have little to nothing in common. Plus, God left the "Miss Bubbly Socialite" gene out of my genome when he made me so I have a hard time talking about nothing. But like I said, today I saw an encouraging glimmer of progress. I was in the middle of a presentation, and blanked on a word. Those in the audience were eager to help me out to which I was then able to "eso" in a joking way which had everyone smiling/laughing. These students really are very nice individuals, and being honest I don't feel an ounce of judgement from any of them towards me. I do hope that the next 7 weeks will continue to increase these relationships.
Side note: I'll be honest with you guys. I didn't actually blank on that word. I knew what I wanted to say, but I also knew that if I attempted to say it my accent would have rendered it ground beef...a.k.a. butchered! So I just pretended to blank.
A lot of article reading is required for various reasons at HAL. One of my clinical cases doctors has us present one of the articles we used researching each case. These doctors recommend English articles which isn't always adhered to, but I have no problem abliging the request. I know that all of these Latin students have at least a basic understanding in English; a fact which I took advantage of when I last presented a article. I knew it was fine to say the study title in English, but asked a friend if I should translate it anyways, he affirmed that it wasn't necessary. Trouble was my article had a long title filled with 'big' words. I said that title in clear loud English, but I said it as fast as I possibly could, and I did it on purpose. I knew that even though they can understand a basic English, with a fast and wordy English they would still most likely end up lost. From their side-ways glances I'd assumed correctly. In a way, it felt good. Letting out my frustration built up from daily face-plants into a language barrier. A counselor explained it to me once that for a person that spends so much energy living up to outside standards they search for something that they alone can control and they hold onto that, sometimes to the extreme, as an outlet or as a way of reassuring themselves that they still actually have some control. That's what this felt like. In a world where I feel so lost so often I found a moment where I wasn't lost and I grabbed it. I basically shouted "I SPEAK ENGLISH!"
I had more stories to tell, but I'm actually going to bed. Last night was the first night in almost a week I'd gotten more than 3 hours sleep. It was by accident. sooooo, I'm tired.
Hasta!
It's been three weeks now with the Latin Program. Today was a good day in a sense that I could see some progress made in my horribly meager efforts to integrate. And I call them horribly meager because I hardly actually talk with any of them. I realize this is a problem, and repeatedly make up my mind to do better in the area. I'll see an opportunity to start a conversation, and then stop in my tracks realizing I have no idea what to talk about with them. We have little to nothing in common. Plus, God left the "Miss Bubbly Socialite" gene out of my genome when he made me so I have a hard time talking about nothing. But like I said, today I saw an encouraging glimmer of progress. I was in the middle of a presentation, and blanked on a word. Those in the audience were eager to help me out to which I was then able to "eso" in a joking way which had everyone smiling/laughing. These students really are very nice individuals, and being honest I don't feel an ounce of judgement from any of them towards me. I do hope that the next 7 weeks will continue to increase these relationships.
Side note: I'll be honest with you guys. I didn't actually blank on that word. I knew what I wanted to say, but I also knew that if I attempted to say it my accent would have rendered it ground beef...a.k.a. butchered! So I just pretended to blank.
A lot of article reading is required for various reasons at HAL. One of my clinical cases doctors has us present one of the articles we used researching each case. These doctors recommend English articles which isn't always adhered to, but I have no problem abliging the request. I know that all of these Latin students have at least a basic understanding in English; a fact which I took advantage of when I last presented a article. I knew it was fine to say the study title in English, but asked a friend if I should translate it anyways, he affirmed that it wasn't necessary. Trouble was my article had a long title filled with 'big' words. I said that title in clear loud English, but I said it as fast as I possibly could, and I did it on purpose. I knew that even though they can understand a basic English, with a fast and wordy English they would still most likely end up lost. From their side-ways glances I'd assumed correctly. In a way, it felt good. Letting out my frustration built up from daily face-plants into a language barrier. A counselor explained it to me once that for a person that spends so much energy living up to outside standards they search for something that they alone can control and they hold onto that, sometimes to the extreme, as an outlet or as a way of reassuring themselves that they still actually have some control. That's what this felt like. In a world where I feel so lost so often I found a moment where I wasn't lost and I grabbed it. I basically shouted "I SPEAK ENGLISH!"
I had more stories to tell, but I'm actually going to bed. Last night was the first night in almost a week I'd gotten more than 3 hours sleep. It was by accident. sooooo, I'm tired.
Hasta!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Yo estoy estresada.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
If you looked up stress in the dictionary you'd find me as the definition. At the rate my adrenals are pumping out catecholamines I'm going to lose weight just sitting here in front of my computer. whimper whimper
Church wasn't turned on today for some reason (neither service), so I ended up reading in Acts instead. I felt foolish feeling so stressed being reminded of the situations Paul so often found himself in the midst of.
But....my heart rate is still elevated, it's still hard to concentrate, half of the time I'm worrying and the other half I'm trying not to worry, my nails are almost all gone...4 left. In other words my sympathetic nervous system is in command of my body....and I can't stop it!!
I ask God Why? Why can't it be easier...simpler? And I get the same answer that I'm sure Paul received.
TRUST ME
Hasta!
If you looked up stress in the dictionary you'd find me as the definition. At the rate my adrenals are pumping out catecholamines I'm going to lose weight just sitting here in front of my computer. whimper whimper
Church wasn't turned on today for some reason (neither service), so I ended up reading in Acts instead. I felt foolish feeling so stressed being reminded of the situations Paul so often found himself in the midst of.
But....my heart rate is still elevated, it's still hard to concentrate, half of the time I'm worrying and the other half I'm trying not to worry, my nails are almost all gone...4 left. In other words my sympathetic nervous system is in command of my body....and I can't stop it!!
I ask God Why? Why can't it be easier...simpler? And I get the same answer that I'm sure Paul received.
TRUST ME
Hasta!
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