Yo estoy flotando.

Today was day 3 of my OB/GYN rotation and so far I’m 3 for 3 at spending my days in the OR.  Unfortunately clinic can’t be avoided forever; I’ll be there tomorrow.  Today was a difficult total hysterectomy.  The surgeon never really had a good view, but I still had to keep trying to give it to him.  It’s like playing tug of war with a brick wall, for 60 minutes straight.  Talk about hand cramps!

Now that my weeks have returned to their usual relatively quiet state, I’ve finally renewed my attentions towards what happens 6 weeks from now.  Following up leads I made a few weeks ago.  Starting new inquires. Etc. Etc. Etc.  Not a day goes by that I don’t grasp at a strand of hope just to have it slip through my fingers. Sigh.  If I close my eyes, it feels like I’m floating.

"Walking In The Air"
Walking in the air,
Floating in the sky...
Floating in the air...
….
Far across the world
The villages go by like dreams
The rivers and the hills
The forest and the streams
….
We're walking in the air
We're dancing in the midnight sky
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly

This isn’t the first time God has kept my path unknown to me.  It was almost 5 years ago now that I got on a plane with a one-way ticket to a foreign country, with no plan beyond that.  a.k.a. I HAD NO CLUE WHAT I WAS DOING!!! I spent the first couple of days lugging my two bags around Guadalajara unsure if I’d have a place to lay my head that night.  But God provided just as he promises.   Phillipians 4:19  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  And then there were many more instances between then and now, and I’m sure this won’t be the last either.  But it is the first time I feel so free.  Free enough that all I need is a light breeze to blow and I’ll float any which way.  At first I told myself that once the wind blew I’d eventually land somewhere, and well, then I’d get on with my life.  But then I realized, maybe this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.  This willingness to simply follow where the Spirit blows.  I have nothing to hold onto in this world.  Nothing, except for debt.  But trusting that God will supply all needs perhaps I can trust and give that to Christ also.  This must be what living by Faith is.  So the question is, that when that day comes and the wind blows and I finally land somewhere, can I continue to float?  If I start to trust my eyes again will I have the wisdom to close them and live by faith instead?

FOOTPRINTS

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together.  For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.  

But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.  

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling, His consistently...

You and Jesus are walking as true friends!  

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.  

Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.

This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change.  The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.  

Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place.  Stops.  Starts. Gashes in the sand.  A variable mess of prints.  

You are amazed and shocked.  Your dream ends. Now you pray:   'Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You.'

'That is correct.'  

'And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely.

'Very good. You have understood everything so far.' 

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way.'  

'Precisely.'  

'So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first.'

There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.  

'You didn't know? It was then that we danced!'   

Are we dancing now Jesus?  I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

And will there be even bigger dances in the future?  I'm pretty sure I know that answer as well.

Hasta!