Estoy enteniendo la ecuación.

 As I do my best to relax, focus and study alllllllllll day long, there is at the same time a conglomerate of combined forces determined to derail me. 

Moving is a distraction in itself. 

After saying goodbye to New York...

I headed West. It felt different this time. It felt final. All of my belongings packed into my car and the back of my parents' minivan, and I called up a friend. It was no small favor I asked of Amber, as it was about 9 days I was essentially homeless, but she offered up her spare room willingly.

It worked really well. Amber worked from home all day. I studied all day. We kept each other focused and on task. And then we had an automatic built in social activity at the end of everyday. It was perfect! On one special occasion Amy Mammadov and Kaleigh Schlipf joined us in Champaign. It was about the time of the above picture when we were made aware that Bloomington was in the middle of a torrential downpour and the storm was in between us and home for Amy and Kaleigh. 

Spontaneous slumber party!!! Never too old for this! Love it!

But I was finally let into my apartment in Lafayette, IN. I took the day off from studying. And after unloading my car and my parents' minivan, spent all afternoon trying to figure out why I have so much stuff!! But I did finally stop to meet up with some sisters for a welcome to the neighborhood and a download of the local 411. Stopped by to meet with Neil Armstrong of course! Had to make the move official.

Confession time. I never thought I would ever move back to the Mid-West. Well... more honestly, I never really had a desire to ever move back to the Mid-West. But here God has led, and here I have followed. And that previously mentioned opinion has proved rather troublesome in the process. Not even here a week and God already poking and pushing, teaching me the unneccessary, frivolous and perhaps even dangerous waste of energy and time to have preconceived ideas (I know enough not to call them plans). 

So I study, venture out for a run, or a trip to the store, or for a meeting (work related), and try to settle myself. For example, without any close running trails I am happy to find so many sidewalks, but that then means I have to pause at intersections. Con + Pro + Con = Pro. I know, the math doesn't make sense, but this is me now so my brain is going through each equation figuring how to arrive at a Pro solution. 

For those of you that are visual... here's another example. I found the rooftop terrace of my building, and have since spent many many hours up there.

The above two sunsets were taken on two different evenings; the sun turning red as it sunk beyond the horizon.  I can have my pick of sunsets and sunrises here. Pro.

Much Love.

Estoy estudiando.

 My family helped me finish up my time in New York. This included a one last trip into the hospital. A couple of trips down into the city. And last, but definitely not least one last trip to CT for church. As it has been with all of my past moves, it's not the place or events that make a goodbye hard. It's the people that have experienced that stage of my life with me; parting with them is always the hardest part. Each individual makes the words of a farewell hymn that much more meaningful. 

Watching the helicopter take off from the helipad at WMC.

Fish tanks in the lobby of Maria Fareri Children's Hospital.

One last trip to the food trucks on Food Truck Friday, then lunch on the Oval outside of the hospital.

The long awaited and greatly anticipated meeting with Balto!

Bubbles in Central Park. 

Snack break in Central Park.

Bethesda Fountain. Central Park. #PeterBear #LittleLincoln #MilesAustin

Bethesda Fountain. Central Park. #PeterBear #LittleLincoln #MilesAustin

Central Park, NYC with Carrie.

Mom & Dad. Central Park, NYC.

I love NYC.

Top of the Rock with Peter Bear.

Top of the Rock with the family.

Top of the Rock: Lincoln, me, Dad, Peter, Miles, Carrie, Troy, Chelli, Mom

Top of the Rock: Lincoln, Me, Dad, Peter, Miles, Carrie, Troy, Chelli, Mom (somehow the only one keeping her cool ;)

Times Square, NYC with Chelli.

Times Square, NYC with Little Lincoln.

Times Square with Troy, Miles, Carrie, Peter, Lincoln, Chelli

Had to say goodbye to Bryant Park. One of my favorite places in the city.

Taking care to stay behind the yellow lines.

Train pulling into station.

World Trade Center Transportation Hub Oculus

9/11 Memorial

9/11 Memorial: One of my favorite pictures from the whole weekend.

9/11 Memorial and One WTC.

Battery Park and Lower Manhattan.

Battery Park and Lower Manhattan from the Staten Island Ferry.

Statue of Liberty.

9/11 memorial on Staten Island (Postcards).

Looking back across the Upper Bay from Staten Island towards Manhattan and Brooklyn.

Lower Manhattan and Brooklyn connected by the Brooklyn Bridge

Much Love.

Estoy cambiando el tema.

 And just like that residency is over; absolutely no Pomp and very little Circumstance. 

I once again failed at taking any pictures of the dinner hosted Friday night and thus far only a few have trickled in.

 L to R: Dr. Con (program director), me, Ansab, Ash, Vasu, Dr. Latifi ( Director of Surgery)

The PGY4s roasted the chiefs as per tradition. They handed out a few of their own awards as part of their roast. My favorite: "Member of the Surgery in a Backpack Society"

Chiefs with two of our transplant surgeons L to R: Ansab, Dr. Sogawa, me, Ash, Dr. Veillette, Vasu 

Love and Prayers.

For the past two years I have worked, ran, and lived to the same theme song. I believe I've mentioned it before, Hard Love by Needtobreathe. I won't replay it now, because over the past four weeks or so, I have felt a huge change in the rhythm and the weight of my days.  The chips on my shoulder that had seemed so incredibly heavy; reason would have had me believe them to be impossible to loose. And yet, I find myself looking back at my time at WMC no longer burdened with anger and frustration but with thankfulness. I look at my shoulder, and not a chip left to be found. Where reason fails, the love and grace of God prevails. 

There is a new theme song now. Amen by for King and Country. Not only as a survivor of a general surgery residency, but as a born-again follower of Jesus I have so much to be thankful for. Amen. 

Amen.

Estoy al fin.

 My last week of General Surgery residency in pictures.

6.12.21 Ice Cream Social in Ellington, CT.  When you want to say goodbye to A. LOT. of people. Have them all come to you!! Thank you Kevin & Cheryl Ryan. It was a fabulous idea! 

6.13.21 Vascular Surgery Farewell Party. I was coming from CT so arrived late, but just in time for the amazing Indian food and a few pictures!

Graduating Chiefs: Vasu, Ash, Ansab, Me

The chiefs with Dr. Babu (left) and Dr. Goyal (right)

With Dr. Mateo and Dr. Goyal 

(L to R: Asad, Moe, Thanh, Ansab, Dr. Mateo, me, Sara, Alex, Dr. Goyal)

Moe did an excellent job with the selfie taking! Above L to R: Moe, Asad, Ansab, Ash, me

Below L to R: Moe, Ansab, Asad, Alex, Nicole, me, Thanh, Sara, Adrian

And finally, to show that I didn't just party at the end of residency! ;)

Graduating chiefs with the Chief of Surgery, Dr. Latifi

Second to last case of residency. A Whipple with Dr. Veillette and Dr. Stewart. (My last case today was a PSARP (posterior sagittal anorectoplasty) with Dr. Stewart). Last chief still operating! :)

My last team of residency, L to R: Thanh (intern), Sara (med student), Enea (rotator)

No one knew that Enea was joining us for the block; he just showed up one day. Honestly a bit like an answer to a pray I didn't even know I had. It was busy, Thanh was gone a few days, and he did an excellent job. Would have survived either way, but made such a huge difference to have the extra team member. 

Love and Prayers!

P.S. I stopped and took this video on my way out of the hospital. In all my years at WMC - MFCH I have never been able to understand why such frightening characters decorate the hallways of a children's hospital.