I read in Genesis 22 this morning. Someone mentioned it to me earlier this year, and in an odd way, I believe I finally am understanding the parallel they were mentioning.
Genesis 22
2. And he said, Take now they son...and offer him there for a burnt offering
3. And Abraham rose up early in the morning... and Isaac his son... and went unto the place of which God had told him.
7. And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?
8. And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering
10 And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
11. And the angel of the Lord called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.
13. And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns:
14. And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh
I am in a "Jehovahjireh". A place provided completely and entirely by God.
The Lord has blessed my in uncountable ways, and at times I start to get anxious thinking about it. Even as is, it would take more than this one lifetime I am allotted to pay it back. I struggle with the years that yet lay out before me. I sometimes look at those years as holding me back, and in impatience I turn to Jesus and ask, "why can't I just GO?" But even asking it, I know full well that it is merely Satan trying to sow his small seeds of discontent.
This moment. This place. I am in Jehovahjireh. And I will go. Or I will stay. As my Lord wills.
Wishes for a Blessed New Year to everyone.
Much Love.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Estoy viva y próspera
I drove in later than usual to work today. I left early expecting the rush hour traffic at the later hour. To my surprise, there was very slim traffic. Thinking about it during my drive, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Most have taken the holiday week off of work. I'm thankful to have had a nice weekend. I'm also thankful to have a job to return to, plus... we finally got to operate on the wrist of our dingbat of a patient!! The saga finally comes to a close. :)
After the wedding, I drove up to Connecticut for Christmas. I was blessed to be able to spend the weekend with John and Maureen Virkler and their family.
I had learned just before leaving for the weekend, that the 26th was an OR holiday (Christmas observed). Meaning no cases for us. I wanted to take the opportunity to go into the city, drink a cup of coffee, take a selfie and see the lights. When the Virklers mentioned they had the same thought, they let me tag along!
On Christmas Eve, I had the opportunity to attend the wedding of a co-worker.
Adi married Ana!
Adi, Ana and myself
Adi waves to me from under the veil while wedding guests throw blessings (rose petals) on the married couple.
After the wedding with some of my co-workers. (L to R: me, Min Li, Matt (and girlfriend Lindsey), Erwin (and wife Nadine), Arpit (one of my chiefs from two years ago), and Ash (one of my co-interns)
Silent Night
I had learned just before leaving for the weekend, that the 26th was an OR holiday (Christmas observed). Meaning no cases for us. I wanted to take the opportunity to go into the city, drink a cup of coffee, take a selfie and see the lights. When the Virklers mentioned they had the same thought, they let me tag along!
Amanda V. and little Kenzie, not quite tall enough yet.
I got my cup of coffee at the Christmas Village in Bryant Park.
Grabbed my selfie by the Christmas Tree in Bryant Park as well.
After an adventure through Greenwich Village, with more coffee involved, we found our way to the Spotted Pig.
And after the Spotted Pig, caught the Subway back to MidTown for the lights!
Trip complete!
Me, Kenzie and Amanda V
(Little Miss Kenzie was a Rockstar the whole day, we had fun spoiling her!)
They had made fun of me for the first selfie, so were willing to help me with a redo at the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree! (L to R: Kenzie, me, Amanda V., Maureen, John)
Thank you NYC! You never disappoint!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Much Love.
Friday, December 23, 2016
Estoy relajando antes de las festividades.
"It's Christmas Eve Eve!" ~Eloise (from Eloise at Christmastime)
Last night, I drove into White Plains after getting off work to drop some keys off for a co-worker. On the phone, her voice was so choked with guilt it sounded as if she was about to cry. Her family is visiting for the holiday, and knowing that, her co-workers have gifted her with a three day weekend. She had not asked for it, and knowing how much others will have to work to cover for her, she was having a hard time accepting the gift.
I very quickly put an end to her qualms about accepting the three day Christmas weekend. We are, after all, surgery residents and pulling together and covering for each other is what we do. She will have ample opportunity to pay it forward and pay it back. A part of me was saddened to see that residency creates in us an almost inability to accept more than a "golden weekend" (saturday and sunday) once a every couple of months, if we're lucky. But an even greater part of me was really happy to see how our small family of surgery residents takes care of each other.
I, myself, was able to spend Christmas Eve Eve at home as well. I was able to wake up and read/study for 5 straight hours before even getting out of bed! I've had a Pandora Christmas station playing all day long, and even after putting down my books, was able to maintain the productivity. Cleaned the nooks and crannies!
I found the tin of Jacques Torres Wicked Hot Chocolate mix that my sister had bought long ago during her visit. Perhaps I could go buy some milk and make the Christmas Eve Eve extra special! Opened it. It still looked good. So then decided to shake it in an effort to mix up the separated layers. Two seconds later I had a cloud of chocolate dust settling all over my apartment. Christmas Eve Eve extra extra special! On a brighter note, it made my apartment, previously smelling like bleach, smelling like chocolate instead. So after cleaning again, I went and got the milk anyways. There was about 1/2 cup of mix left, and figured I'd better use it quick before it had a chance to fly away from me as well. Christmas Eve Eve extra extra extra special! ;)
On a follow-up note from work,
1) The kid with the machete to his wrist injury showed up back in the ED again. So we booked him again. Super excited, as we had a second chance to do his repair surgery. We waited for the day with anticipation. We even called his mom the day before to make sure she was going to make him come. (It was his mom that got him to show up back in the ED again). Aaaaaaand (drum roll....) He didn't show up.
Well, to be completely honest, he showed up 5hours late. My Attending confronted him. He's going to give him a third chance. This kid is lucky. Many Attendings would have signed off on him after the first time. The kid is also a dingbat. Even with repair and months of hand therapy, at this point, full return of function to his hand is highly unlikely.
2) I got to operate on the twins again! Only this time from a plastic surgery perspective. Talk about continuity of care! :) They are growing so big!! It's so fun to watch them grow and develop. They don't go anywhere without their fuzzy pink blanket. I say, it must be a magical blanket. One of the twins can be crying, give her the blanket, and she's instantly calmed down and quiet. It's pretty cute. They're moving up the separation to next month. I'm going to have to find a way to get in that OR, you know, for continuity of care! ;)
Much Love.
Last night, I drove into White Plains after getting off work to drop some keys off for a co-worker. On the phone, her voice was so choked with guilt it sounded as if she was about to cry. Her family is visiting for the holiday, and knowing that, her co-workers have gifted her with a three day weekend. She had not asked for it, and knowing how much others will have to work to cover for her, she was having a hard time accepting the gift.
I very quickly put an end to her qualms about accepting the three day Christmas weekend. We are, after all, surgery residents and pulling together and covering for each other is what we do. She will have ample opportunity to pay it forward and pay it back. A part of me was saddened to see that residency creates in us an almost inability to accept more than a "golden weekend" (saturday and sunday) once a every couple of months, if we're lucky. But an even greater part of me was really happy to see how our small family of surgery residents takes care of each other.
I, myself, was able to spend Christmas Eve Eve at home as well. I was able to wake up and read/study for 5 straight hours before even getting out of bed! I've had a Pandora Christmas station playing all day long, and even after putting down my books, was able to maintain the productivity. Cleaned the nooks and crannies!
I found the tin of Jacques Torres Wicked Hot Chocolate mix that my sister had bought long ago during her visit. Perhaps I could go buy some milk and make the Christmas Eve Eve extra special! Opened it. It still looked good. So then decided to shake it in an effort to mix up the separated layers. Two seconds later I had a cloud of chocolate dust settling all over my apartment. Christmas Eve Eve extra extra special! On a brighter note, it made my apartment, previously smelling like bleach, smelling like chocolate instead. So after cleaning again, I went and got the milk anyways. There was about 1/2 cup of mix left, and figured I'd better use it quick before it had a chance to fly away from me as well. Christmas Eve Eve extra extra extra special! ;)
On a follow-up note from work,
1) The kid with the machete to his wrist injury showed up back in the ED again. So we booked him again. Super excited, as we had a second chance to do his repair surgery. We waited for the day with anticipation. We even called his mom the day before to make sure she was going to make him come. (It was his mom that got him to show up back in the ED again). Aaaaaaand (drum roll....) He didn't show up.
Well, to be completely honest, he showed up 5hours late. My Attending confronted him. He's going to give him a third chance. This kid is lucky. Many Attendings would have signed off on him after the first time. The kid is also a dingbat. Even with repair and months of hand therapy, at this point, full return of function to his hand is highly unlikely.
2) I got to operate on the twins again! Only this time from a plastic surgery perspective. Talk about continuity of care! :) They are growing so big!! It's so fun to watch them grow and develop. They don't go anywhere without their fuzzy pink blanket. I say, it must be a magical blanket. One of the twins can be crying, give her the blanket, and she's instantly calmed down and quiet. It's pretty cute. They're moving up the separation to next month. I'm going to have to find a way to get in that OR, you know, for continuity of care! ;)
Much Love.
Friday, December 16, 2016
Estoy disfrutando aprender cosas nuevas.
Did you know that there are eight layers to the eyelid? I learned that this past week. I learned it in preparation for a surgery in which I dissected through one layer at a time to arrive at a dermoid cyst at the corner of a boy's eye. I'm sure I completed the surgery much slower than necessary, but doing delicate surgery with your Attending watching your every more saying, "Don't mess it up! Don't mess it up! Don't pop the cyst!" (Of course, not in such politically correct terms ;) Well, I imagine that would slow anyone down.
I've never really liked working so close to the eye before, always felt like a wrong twitch the patient made, or I made and we'd somehow end up with a needle in the eyeball. But I learned that it doesn't have to be like that. If you understand the tissue you are working with, and respect the tissue you are working with, then it will return the favor to you.
I had a really good case lined up for this past Thursday. I had just gotten into bed Wednesday night when the long range plastics pager went off. I groaned to see that it was the ED. I was soooo tired, had close to zero desire to go in to work. But I knew there was no way around it. A kid had cut through all of the extensor tendons of his hand with a machete. Perhaps not an emergency, but at the same time unable to be ignored, and so I got dressed and went in. Cleaned the kid up and put him in a splint which kept his hand in extension and then scheduled him for the following day for tendon repair. Having crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's I headed home again and finally got some sleep excited for a nice case the following day. Unfortunately we start our day to discover our patient had walked out at 2am!!! Nooooooo! We tried calling the patient and his parents but without luck. He has every right to walk out against medical advice, but I just want to know why?! A couple theory's could be that he was coming due for his next fix, or perhaps he already knew another surgeon he preferred. But for whatever reason, I do hope that he gets some sort of help... before he permanently looses function of his hand.
Much Love.
I've never really liked working so close to the eye before, always felt like a wrong twitch the patient made, or I made and we'd somehow end up with a needle in the eyeball. But I learned that it doesn't have to be like that. If you understand the tissue you are working with, and respect the tissue you are working with, then it will return the favor to you.
I had a really good case lined up for this past Thursday. I had just gotten into bed Wednesday night when the long range plastics pager went off. I groaned to see that it was the ED. I was soooo tired, had close to zero desire to go in to work. But I knew there was no way around it. A kid had cut through all of the extensor tendons of his hand with a machete. Perhaps not an emergency, but at the same time unable to be ignored, and so I got dressed and went in. Cleaned the kid up and put him in a splint which kept his hand in extension and then scheduled him for the following day for tendon repair. Having crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's I headed home again and finally got some sleep excited for a nice case the following day. Unfortunately we start our day to discover our patient had walked out at 2am!!! Nooooooo! We tried calling the patient and his parents but without luck. He has every right to walk out against medical advice, but I just want to know why?! A couple theory's could be that he was coming due for his next fix, or perhaps he already knew another surgeon he preferred. But for whatever reason, I do hope that he gets some sort of help... before he permanently looses function of his hand.
Much Love.
Monday, December 12, 2016
Estoy extrañando a mis sobrinos.
We made it happen! I turned in all my favors and secured a three day weekend without call! I bought a ticket and spent every single second with my family in Illinois celebrating Christmas and the fact that we were all together! The weather in Chicago delayed my flight home bringing me into NYC after the trains had already stopped. But, it is NYC afterall and an uber is never no more than 5 minutes away, so I got home eventually leaving just enough time for a quick nap before prepping for my 07:30 presentation this morning. I was so tired that I think I left out about half of what I had wanted to say, but then again I don't really remember. All I know is that it was so totally worth it!
Every single picture makes me gush about my nephews and I want to show you and have you agree with me that I have the cutest nephews ever. But I know there is a line, even if I can't see it, a line exists between acceptable and excessive amount of bragging about my nephews. Therefore, I will reign it in, and apologize if unsuccessful in my attempt.
Every single picture makes me gush about my nephews and I want to show you and have you agree with me that I have the cutest nephews ever. But I know there is a line, even if I can't see it, a line exists between acceptable and excessive amount of bragging about my nephews. Therefore, I will reign it in, and apologize if unsuccessful in my attempt.
Peter Bear and Little Lincoln
Miles Austin keeping tabs on everyone!
Cute little sparkly red nose reindeer face painting at the neighborhood Christmas party!
Little Lincoln makes an absolutely adorable elf with his spectacles falling down his nose!
Fireman Peter out to rescue the good guys!
Police officer Lincoln out to catch the bad guys!
Who ever said a police officer can't have swag?
Amazing how little boys automatically know how to be a super hero!
It's a bird... It's a plane...
...It's a little boy all ready for his Sunday School Christmas program!
(Heart squeeze)
Merry Christmas 2016
Much Love.
Monday, December 5, 2016
Estoy practicando cirugía plástica.
Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery.
I wasn't but one hour into my first day of the rotation December 1st, and had come to the conclusion that I can not be a Plastic Surgeon.
Not that I had ever really seriously considered it, but at the same time could not deny that I liked the reconstructive stuff, the creativity required to make something look pretty again.
But alas, without going into detail, I shall not be a Plastic surgeon.
That being said... this month is proving to be absolutely amazing! I am loving the surgeries. Seeing the surgeries. Discussing the surgeries. Doing the surgeries. All of the above.
At Westchester, Plastics alternates taking hand consults with orthopedics. And then it alternates taking facial trauma consults with ENT surgery and OMFS (oxillo maxillofacial surgery). This past weekend it so happened that Plastics was taking both Hand and Face call simultaneously. And it so happened that I was first call for Plastics Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Now, my basic understanding of both hand and face consists of simple anatomy and physiology that I learned back in med school. Which translates into... I know nothing. I am doing my best to learn fast. The weekend was intense. Two of the three nights I didn't get home until 3am. and even home I'm still on call. No chance of a nights rest because the pager goes off multiple times. Gave me a little bit of appreciation for being a resident, and that when I go home, I can be all there.
I am having so much fun though. I got to reduce my first broken nose. A guy got his finger caught in a wood chopper, and I got to piece it back together. A man had the palm of his hand completely in full-thickness avulsion, and I got to put it back on. A girl's face was attacked by a pit bull, and I got to make it looking like a face once again. And then a whole slew of smaller things in between.
Thankfully, they don't leave me on Plastics first call by myself. I have a fellow back up if I need it. Most of the time I could just text my plan for their approval or their advice.
There's so many things I want to see yet before the month is past. Certain special plastics closure would be so helpful to have in my bag of tricks, and then of course things like reducing broken noses or dislocated fingers as well! We'll see how it goes!
Much Love.
I wasn't but one hour into my first day of the rotation December 1st, and had come to the conclusion that I can not be a Plastic Surgeon.
Not that I had ever really seriously considered it, but at the same time could not deny that I liked the reconstructive stuff, the creativity required to make something look pretty again.
But alas, without going into detail, I shall not be a Plastic surgeon.
That being said... this month is proving to be absolutely amazing! I am loving the surgeries. Seeing the surgeries. Discussing the surgeries. Doing the surgeries. All of the above.
At Westchester, Plastics alternates taking hand consults with orthopedics. And then it alternates taking facial trauma consults with ENT surgery and OMFS (oxillo maxillofacial surgery). This past weekend it so happened that Plastics was taking both Hand and Face call simultaneously. And it so happened that I was first call for Plastics Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Now, my basic understanding of both hand and face consists of simple anatomy and physiology that I learned back in med school. Which translates into... I know nothing. I am doing my best to learn fast. The weekend was intense. Two of the three nights I didn't get home until 3am. and even home I'm still on call. No chance of a nights rest because the pager goes off multiple times. Gave me a little bit of appreciation for being a resident, and that when I go home, I can be all there.
I am having so much fun though. I got to reduce my first broken nose. A guy got his finger caught in a wood chopper, and I got to piece it back together. A man had the palm of his hand completely in full-thickness avulsion, and I got to put it back on. A girl's face was attacked by a pit bull, and I got to make it looking like a face once again. And then a whole slew of smaller things in between.
Thankfully, they don't leave me on Plastics first call by myself. I have a fellow back up if I need it. Most of the time I could just text my plan for their approval or their advice.
There's so many things I want to see yet before the month is past. Certain special plastics closure would be so helpful to have in my bag of tricks, and then of course things like reducing broken noses or dislocated fingers as well! We'll see how it goes!
Much Love.
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