Estoy feliz.

I'm really happy to be back on days.  I mean...I knew I was struggling, especially towards the end of the month, while on night float.  But, with the renewed ease that a smile comes, makes me realize that I may have just been flat out depressed last month and in denial about it. I get to see all of the night nurses when I start and then again as I am leaving.  They at least act like they're sad I'm no longer with them.  Whether it's an act or not, it makes me feel like I must have done something right.  And for the most part I miss them too.

In general, ACS is not one of the more hectic services. There's time to actually talk to my patients.  Get to know them.  And I'm able to make it to the OR. It's pretty amazing.  Our team is actually a few members larger than it has been the past couple of months.  For one reason there is a resident rotating on our service  from another residency program specifically for all of the transplant cases.  Due to the nature of the service combined with the larger size of the team, those most senior are treating it almost as a vacation month.  They take turns having a day off.  Then the rest of them will text me mid-afternoon, once their last case has finished, to let me know that they are headed home and to call if I need anything. And then you should see the rounding schedule for the weekends and holidays this month. There's two people assigned for each day. Me and then one of them. I guess it's a good thing they all feel comfortable enough letting the intern run the service.  But then again that just comes as part of the "intern" job description in the first place.

I was changing the wound vac on a patient's abdomen the other day. He had his eyes squeezed shut against the pain caused by the process.  I intermittently will get some conversation going to distract myself just as much as to distract him.  I asked him what he plans on doing once he is discharged. And without missing a single beat or even opening his eyes he immediately responded, "Go to IHOP!"  I couldn't help myself. I cracked up laughing. Not only for the pure randomness of his response, but also for the fact that it was one he had obviously been planning probably for some time already. Upon further conversation I learned he's going to get lots and lots of pancakes.  That he loves pancakes. 

Much Love.