Estoy distraída.

I haven't gotten a whole bunch done today.  I've sat here in front of my computer.  Good intentions to be productive, but then my eyes stray up.  And I see the sun shining outside the window.  Such a beautiful clear autumn day.  Now the shadows are starting to stretch.  I've had to reach and turn on the lamp beside me.  And I'm torn. Between watching until the last light has moved on, or diverting my gaze back down to the computer screen and accepting the inevitable.

I'm trying to do the later, but my eyes keep looking up.  Time is going so fast.


I mentioned before that I have opportunity on this rotation to see more of my patients!  A definite plus.  However, as a result of that I'm getting comments from both patients and their family members.  Things like,  I'm the first person they see in the mornings and the last in the evenings.  When do I sleep?  First of all, I know that to be a lie, because I just came off night shift and know that both their nurses and nurses' aide have interrupted them at least a couple times through the night. I'm neither the first nor the last.  And second of all, would they rather I not do my job? Not communicate the plan with them? Not make sure they are okay?  I'm socially adept enough, to know that they are pointing it out from geniality. Because we then laugh together, and I make some joking quip in return.  But inside I wish they wouldn't comment on it. Perhaps it's yet another default I have, but this job, this residency, this path I'm walking isn't a joke to me.  I want to see them first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening. To wake them up, and then tuck them in, figuratively.

Another part of the intern job is to look after the students.  We have both medical students and PA students on our team, four currently.  Makes for quite a sight when I round in the mornings. Like I've got four tag-a-longs shuffling behind as I move from room to room.  They're pretty great all in all. I mean, they get to sit there and listen as my chief makes sure to point out every detail that I haven't performed to perfection. Yet they still tag-a-long with happy smiles on their faces.  :)

I discharged a patient to rehab this past week.  I'm half expecting her to be back when I get there in the morning.  She had an acute surgical problem, which had been addressed during her hospitalization.  However, watching her recover it became apparent to me that her acute problem had actually occurred in the first place from an underlying chronic psychological issue, which due to her acute problem can not be currently addressed. And unfortunately, her chronic issue is bound to land her back in the hospital right quickly.  Only question is when.

Much Love.