The other day I got an earful from the boss man about some paper work I had written up. It made me mad. Let me tell you the story.
During rounds we decided to discharge one of my patients whose abdominal pain had subsided and surgical emergency had been ruled out. In writing up her discharge paper work I noted that she still had some residual abdominal pain with palpation. To me it wasn't worrisome pain but rather realistic to still have some light pain. However the boss wouldn't have any of it and progressed into a lecture about how a person cannot be released unless they are 100%. In other words I have to write up the report again saying that the patient has absolutely no pain...is 100% better than when she came in. His reason...so that it can't come back to bite you (to put it nicely). It made me mad. He wasn't concerned about the pain, still wanted the patient released, but I had to just redo my report, lie basically, saying the patient had no pain, so his butt could be covered on paper (to put it not as nicely). But what ticked me off even more was that even though I was taking care of the particular patient in question he didn't even direct one word of this lecture to me, but rather to the resident next to me who was standing there like an ignorant bobblehead with attention wrapped around this guy's every word as if it were sacred. In retrospect no wonder he preferred talking to him instead of me.
To be honest I kind of detest the hypocritical boss now. For his own unethical standards that he dresses up and sells as ethical, but also for making me act unethically myself. I wonder what would have happened if I'd refused to rewrite the report. I also wonder if I'll ever have the guts to actually even do that.
Later that day, the boss was set up in one of the few chairs in our tiny little break room once again lecturing to an audience of interns and students hanging on his every word. I was standing next to him and even though I was listening I busied myself staring at the papers I had in my hand. He finished his lecture with what he ment as a joke and the whole room burst out in a polite over-abundance of laughter. Perhaps it was because I was still put out about the whole situation that morning, but I really did not think the joke was funny and was not about to humor him with any undeserved laughter. When he tried to turn my silence into another joke about how I hadn't understood, I'd had enough with the guy, and rather coldly affirmed that I had indeed understood, but then left it at that; for him to assume the rest.
I really should have just laughed. Why do I feel it necessary to pick a fight with the boss man? I'm going to meet many that I don't agree with ethically in the coming years...probably the rest of my life. But at this stage when I'm barely above pond scum....I really should have just laughed.
Hasta!
My 24 hours this weekend falls on Easter Sunday. Sad about that. But still praying that the holiday at least keeps people out of the Emergency room.
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