Yo estoy enterrada.

Marlene and Morgane arrived Saturday and have been enjoying Mexico. Picking them up at the airport on Saturday it didn't matter that I had reminded myself many many times that the French do a double greeting I completely forgot and the result was some sort of French/American mix with a Mexican twist. Awkward, but to be expected. A nice thing about Marlene and Morgane is that I know they have experience surviving in a foreign country. I wave goodbye to them in the morning as they go off to explore and enjoy Mexico and I return to my room not worried about them finding their way back in the evening. Well...not too worried. But like I said before they both have survival skills and they both know a basic Spanish. Just a bit jealous of the adventures they are going to be having these next two weeks.

Some of the battle to take the step is proving to be mental for me. In my efforts to be prepared for anything I've somehow now convinced myself that I am going to fail the step. A feeling of doom accompanied by a sense of purposelessness with making any effort to study. Why study for something I'm going to fail anyways? If God has taught me anything these past 3 1/2 years it's been that my life is not my own. God's plans and schedule for my life do not take into account any personal plans that I have made. And where I am today has not been of my own doing. I think in a round about way I'm asking for prayer. I'm scared to fail. But even moreso I think I'm scared that failing will be my fault. That I tried to take my schedule into my own hands and went forward with it leaving God out of the equation. I need help to remember that a test is not going to change the fact that God deserves praise every new morning the same as every evening. That He still loves me with all my mistakes, and that not only my future but my very next step is still safe in His hands.

Hasta!

Psalm 113:3 "From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised."