Estoy agradecida por las espinas

 I've heard non-runners use the look of pain displayed on a runners face as their reason for not running. I actually think of it often and take care to smile or at least keep my face relaxed while I run so as not to ever let anyone use me, for whatever reason, as their reason to not run. 

Well, to anyone who ever thought runners looked like they hated what they were doing.... This is what a very happy mediocre runner looks like.

There's actually a story behind that picture. It wasn't random that I had a ridiculous grin sprinting down the middle of that road. The photo was snapped as runners approached the finish line of the Purdue Half Marathon. It was a beautiful morning, about 60 degrees, perfect for running. I was eager to see if my new and improved hemoglobin level was going to reflect in my time. I actually had a slow start, but thankfully realized it soon enough that by mile two I was starting to pull up to where I wanted to be. About that time I passed an older gentleman in a green shirt, huffing and puffing already at mile two and barely picking up his feet. It was more of a shuffle than a run really.  I had noted him and then promptly forgot as I pushed ahead. It was but a few miles later and I hear a quick slap, slap, slap of a runner at my 5 o'clock. A bit boggled at a runner announcing themself in such an obnoxious way I quick checked, and about tripped at the recognition of that same green shirt, covering his too big belly. For some odd reason, whether his shuffling gate, the way he led with his belly, or the way his tread proclaimed his approach, I took a strong distaste to his presence and pushed myself ahead. But then I'd hear it again. Coming up on my 5 o'clock, "slap, slap, slap" with a huff and a puff. I'd push ahead, refusing to let him pass me. But he'd always show up again, stuck to my 5 o'clock like icing on a cupcake. I couldn't shake him. Around mile 12 came a huge hill, running into the wind, and I finally thought I had my chance. I pushed it up that hill passing many, trying to encourage some to start running again, not daring to look back to check if I'd lost my shadow. And I didn't hear him for a bit... until I did again. slap, slap, slap, huff, puff. No way, I was determined and pushed it even harder. The last quarter mile was down hill, I had lost sound of the slap, slap, slap and as I sprinted for the finish line 2 things happened. 1) Nicole, Andrea and Callie (who had participated in the 5K) saw me and started loudly cheering  2) I saw the time clock at the finish line and was well under what my goal had been. The result, one very happy mediocre runner.

The point of that story is of course the annoyance at my 5 o'clock. All I had wanted was for him to go away. To let me run in peace. But in the end, he had pushed me beyond what I would have been able to do on my own. I ran a personal record. 

He found me in the crowds at the finish line. He had to let me know he wasn't a stalker, and then he thanked me for setting such a good pace. He had a great race. I had a great race. 

L to R: Heather (half), Callie (5K), Andrea (5K), Dave (half), Nicole (5K), me (half)

Andrea had told Dave to put his banana down for the picture.

On a side note, definite benefit to having oral review in audio format, I can run and study at the same time. But it was definitely clear throughout the race that I prefer to run with music in my ears rather than hemorrhagic pancreatitis, pelvic fractures and papillary thyroid carcinomas. Running is more of a decompression for me, which doesn't work too efficiently if I'm just studying the whole time. Anything for a season.

Much Love.

 

Estoy ansiosa.

 Finishing call this morning felt really good. As the past weeks have skipped and tripped by I have felt my anxiety level slowly creeping up. The oral boards are in a few weeks, and despite another year of experience, another year of studying, and many months working with a coach on speaking, I still feel as unprepared as ever. It hoovers, making it difficult to focus, and making it that much more difficult to enjoy my work. I'd rather be studying, and yesterday was my last call until after the boards Nov 11. Have to admit, feel a little relief.

I am thankful I was not made for this test, but rather what is beyond this test. It's perhaps my own pride that pushes me to take and pass the oral boards. Or my own subconscious need for security, knowing that as a board certified surgeon, I could then always rely on having a safe job here in the States. But maybe this oral test is ment to forever be my humility, and only God knows where this will take me. All I know, is I am thankful.

Last weekend marked another year here on this Earth for myself. Was rather embarrassed when I realized I had to calculate my age from my birth year, because for approximately the past 6 months I had already thought I was 37. Very twilight-zone-ish to be 37 and then realize you're only turning 37.....

One blessing about roommates, they help provide balance. 

Nicole's cousin, Priscila, from Canada visited this past weekend, so I had ample enjoyment out of my birthday weekend. I am blessed.

Beautiful fall weather on Charles St. 

 

It's not just shaved ice. It's not just ice cream. It's both. And it's more. It's Bingsoo.

Priscila, Nicole, Heather, me

 Sunday stroll on the Wabash Heritage Trail

 

 When with Argentinians, it's never an inappropriate time to drink mate.

When you try to take a group picture and then realize just how late you stayed chatting at the Beef House.

Parking lot lights to the rescue! Me, Amber, Kaleigh, Kara, Callie

Gray is still beautiful on Charles St.

Much Love.

 

Last but not least, tradition for my birthday.

Estoy festejando cumpleaños.

 My oldest nephew turned 10 years old, and for the first time in 10 years I was able to make his birthday celebration. Asked a favor from my partner to see my one hospitalized patient both Saturday and Sunday allowing me to head over to Illinois Friday to start the festivities early. Attended joint birthday party for Peter, Miles & Troy.

Friday night Eureka HS football game to catch the Blunier cousins play in the Marching Band at half-time. (And it was purely coincidence that the one game we attend is the one game Eureka lost!!)

10 years old and getting groomed for his party!

Miles joined me for yoga first.

One by one they all joined. By the end miles had done about a full 60 minutes as each time one joined we let them pick a new yoga video to do.  Can we just say, the family that does yoga together.... stays together. Let's just make that a thing.

Bike ride with Lincoln and Peter. Peter was way ahead....

We caught up with him!! Nah, in all honesty, he had waited for us.

Loving their camping cake. 

I wish them all the love in the world, now and forever. 

Much Love.

Estoy haciendo cambios.

 Sometimes I am very humbled by the lessons I learn. Almost embarrassed to admit that it has taken me as long to learn as it has. Thank goodness God hasn't given up on me as I lag behind on so many of life's lessons. After a very dry period of as least two years, I am thankful to admit I've finally let myself be vulnerable enough to open up and allow growth again this past year. It's been a good year as a result, a very hard year, but good. The most recent lesson I learned this past week was one of those I found myself embarrassed to have learned so late in life. I guess better late than never. 

Lesson learned: Never say yes out of guilt. 

My partner had asked for me to cover a few hours of his call. Thing was it was the middle of the afternoon, sandwiched in between my morning clinic and afternoon meeting. So I theoretically could be available. Trouble was I had other plans for that time and of course by covering call, always raises the risk that I would be needed. However, I had said no previously in the same situation, felt guilty saying no again when, as I said, theoretically, yes I could cover. So I said yes. 

When he called me half hour early saying I was needed, I could see all my plans and my afternoon meeting disappear in a second, and I was frustrated. Even felt unjustified in having to cancel my afternoon plans/meetings. I had begrudgingly said yes, and that attitude carried over into my service. Really had to check myself to get into the right head space before meeting the patient. It definitely wasn't their fault. In the end I was able to take care of the patient, my partner was able to resume his responsibilities and I even made my meeting. But, lesson learned.  I walked away from that experience promising myself that if I can't say yes cheerfully, then best not to say yes. 

Paused my studying this past weekend long enough for a couple of social events.

My roommates & I together at Starry Night Festival. A street festival put on by Purdue Christian Campus House. Nicole, me and Heather

Together at Starry Night: Me, Natalia & Aaron Adrian, Nicole, Heather, Abe

Attended the Feast of the Hunter's Moon with Katie & Sarah and their families. I was rather impressed with how big the event actually was. Essentially it is a re-enactment of the annual fall gathering of the French and Native Americans that took place on location at Fort Ouiatenon in the mid-1700s

Best part was actually striking up a conversation with some of the reenactors and finding out just how involved reenactments are and widely attended throughout the country. Who knew!

Running along the Wabash during the golden hour. 

Running along the Wabash during the golden hour. 

 

Much Love.