Estoy compartiendo mis pensamientos sobre la navidad.

This holiday season I have been mulling over the meaning it holds for me, for each of us, and for everyone else. Prompted in half by Hudson Taylor releasing their Christmas song "How I know its Christmas." and half by someone simply asking me that question. What does Christmas mean to you?

I love Christmas, and was troubled by the fact that I found I could not really pinpoint why. I was also troubled that, it could not be a blanket all-encompassing reason, as Christmas is celebrated nations around the world, and its meaning would be affected by cultures, family status, location, etc and then there are many that don't even celebrate the holiday. Which, that led me down a whole different rabbit hole, not the topic at the moment though.

I was blessed to be able to fly to Illinois for a weekend to celebrate with the family.

I was struck by the winter landscape flying into Bloomington airport. So different than the hilly landscape covered with trees, and homes of Westchester which I had just left. The love I have for the Midwest and this land can not be understood by simply visiting, as my love is strongly affected by nostalgia. The beauty I see in the prairie comes from stepping out for a run and having your path literally fade into your own horizon. The world is big and open and free here. And I was happy, and it was Christmas.



I thought about Home. Is "Home" what Christmas means to me? God has taught me a lot over the past decade about Home. He has broken me down and moved me around enough that "Home" is no longer tied to a specific location. He made real for me, the commonly quoted cheesy phrase of "Home is where the heart is." And, as long a Jesus is with me, I am home. So.... not home. Because flying to a specific place or being in the hospital or not does not alter what Christmas means to me.

I thought about family. But there again, is a concept, God has molded over the past decade. I spend the most amount of my time with my work family, try to steal as much time with my church family as possible and visit my immediate family whenever physically possible. But I dearly love each one, and no matter which family I am with over the holiday, Christmas means the same to me. So... not family either.

I thought about Jesus. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus. God born as a meek and lowly babe. I feel guilty, Yes, that is what Christmas should be to me. But of my 34 years, I have never really celebrated it as my Saviour's birthday party. So to claim it now would feel false and I would be ashamed of myself for not being honest. Significance maybe. The significance of Christmas to me is Christ's birth. Jesus made approachable to each of us even in our most weak and vulnerable state. But... I'm still stuck, what does that mean for me?

I went over the aspects of Christmastime, hoping to shed some clarity on my answer. Christmas caroling: singing for others especially home to home, spreading cheer, sharing love, letting those caroled to know that they are remembered and valued. Christmas lights: warmth and love and light where was previously cold darkness. Gift giving: desire to grant each others wishes and fill hearts with delight and happiness, an excuse to exhibit materially the love we feel for each other. The DrummerBoy: when there is no money for material gifts, he played his drum for him, he did his best for him, and he was loved for it. Christmas cookies: made not for oneself, but deliciousness to share with those you love. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas: wanting to lift spirits and spread love and laughter to those around you.

I began to notice a common theme: it was Love. Of course it was Love. The answer to all of our questions, worries and wonderings. Is. Love. The world over, not bound by cultural barriers, the Love of Christmas is celebrated. Not limited by location, life situation, or company. Humanity uses the Christmas season to spend time with and remember those they love, share and give out of love, spread warmth and light and love to the world around them.

God is Love, and what better reason to celebrate Jesus birth, than to share and celebrate with others a Love so great that he gave his only begotten son as a baby for each and everyone of us.
This is what Christmas means to me. 

 

 A few pictures from my trip home to Illinois:

Peter Bear, Little Lincoln and Miles Austin ready to go swimming!!

Peter Bear with some intense Jenga focus.

There's more than one way to knock over a tower!

This makes me so happy!

Much Love.

Estoy presentando nuestra investigacion.

Our yearly research day was this past week. I dutifully put together an abstract for submission, and then was subsequently ecstatic when it was not accepted for presentation. It ment I would not have to take the time to put together a presentation nor poster, and then would not have to present said presentation or poster. Yasssss! Another project I am working on was submitted by my co-resident, it was accepted. But when he texted me at the beginning of the week asking if I would present for him, as he had to be out of the country, I ignored it for a day. Maybe if I don't say anything, it'll be like he never asked. No such luck... he just asked again the following day. So despite my best efforts, I again had a presentation during the research day.  Thankfully the study is easy enough to explain and understand, no one asked any questions.

By the time I sat down again, I had pictures sent to me from 4 different attendings. Thanks...I guess.

 

 

I'm still a little confused as to why this is a thing...
But not going to spend the energy to figure out why, so there ya go.

Much Love.

Estoy festejando en la ciudad.

I Love Christmastime in the City.
Especially when it is spent with friends! Amanda, Emily and I visited Jenna and Ethan at their new place in Hoboken Friday night. We then spent Saturday in the city. It had been a few years since I had gotten into the city at Christmastime, so was looking forward to it. It was a day of warm drinks, frozen fingers, many laughs and Christmas trees!

 Bryant Park

 

Midtown Manhattan Library



 

 Rockefeller Center

 L to R: Ethan and Jenna, Me, Amanda, Emily

Much Love. 

 

Estoy mejorando.

I mentioned previously, at the start of this block of Head & Neck, how I am attempting to make use of my time to try take care of myself a little bit. Well, whatever attempt I mustered was obliterated by having three calls in a 7 day period. And as a topper, throw a holiday into the midst of that week sandwiched by calls. I can keep it together at work, that’s not the issue. But by Sunday morning when I got myself home I felt sick until well into Tuesday. Thankfully, my next call has a little more space in between. Let my efforts to “take care of myself” actually maybe have a bit of effect, kind of, possibly.

I’ve been having fun picking my ENT cases while on the rotation. More ear cases. Tubes. Tonsils. Adenoids. Sinuses. Neck dissections and thyroids sprinkled in. Earlier this week we did a combined case with the Neurosurgeons. Drilled into the skull base right where some rather important nerves transverse to get access to a tumor for the Neurosurgeons.  The image was all projected onto a screen in 3-D imaging so everyone in the room could see what the surgeon was doing with her tiny drills. So cool. Granted I’ll never be doing something like that in my future, but super cool to see nonetheless.

I’ve learned that ENTs like snot. There’s always a favorite bodily fluid, even if you don’t admit to it. ENTs see so much snot. Does not change my opinion of it, gross.  I am glad there are surgeons out there willing to dig through it. Even the gelatinous proteinaceous fluid they suck out of ears, borderline gross.

And, not a day goes by when I don’t get asked, “what are you doing here?” It’s usually a scrub tech or nurse that has popped their head into the ENT room for something. They notice me, do a double take, probably second guessing if they walked into the right room, once satisfied that it is in fact me who’s out of place and not themselves, they then ask the afore mentioned question. I’ll be honest, I’m starting to get a bit annoyed having to answer, but have to admit, it’s at least a justified question. I am kind of out of place in an ENT room.

Much Love.