I had a new experience my last on call. At approximately 9pm one of the interns runs up to me in the trauma bay, and half out-of-breath quickly proclaims, "so, one of the trauma patients just died on the floor!" And the million things I had pending suddenly didn't exist any longer. Funny how that happens. And I paused. He didn't continue, and I turned to look at him, my continued silence prompting him for an explanation. I had questions, but one glaring thought, that I wasn't about to admit outloud. I thought that it was unfair. There had been no code, no request for help, no notification that a patient was in trouble, no nothing. Telling me a patient is already dead is too late for me to do anything about it. And the following morning when I stand up and present the events, how can I justify allowing a patient to die, when I had no opportunity to even attempt to stop it. The intern appropriately interpreted my silence and finally continued that the family had not wanted it stopped anyways. And I could take a breath again, suddenly aware that I had been holding it.
I stayed late post-call to not only round on my service, but also to round on the Vascular service. My run as Minimally Invasive Service mini-chief has come to an end. It was a good run. But moving forward I am on Vascular Surgery service for three months. The transition was a bit rough to say the least. Our chief was away yesterday and then today as I was walking to the hospital I got a text that she wouldn't be in today either, so it was just me, my intern, a long list of patients and a really busy service. But I think we got the hang of it. And now, whenever our chief does happen to be there, it'll be like an added bonus!
Someone put eyeballs on the mirror in the women's dressing room at the OR!
Much Love.
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