Yo estoy en los brazos del Buen Pastor.

When sharing on this blog I normally do my best to leave opinion and emotion out. I try to stick to the funny stories and oddities that occur while attending a medical school in Mexico. I know that honestly my success rate at this is no where close to 100%. I just love exclamation points too much!!! However, right now, I want to share with you a different kind of story.

I don't like problems. And especially problems that don't have a defined path to find an answer. I much prefer someone else doing the initial strategizing and then telling me how to fix the problem. Problem solved and easy out. That being said there was definitely no manual on How to attend UAG. Many times it was a laundry list of unknowns sometimes just a few errands, either way with list in hand I learned that by taking a little ingenuity, a bucket of determination, a truck-load of patience, and the willingness to look stupid mixing them all together and adding God to the mix; I can, afterall, survive the unknown.

Then this past semester I hit a road-block. This wasn't just because the path had become overgrown with ruffage and a new path needed to be forged. A door had slammed shut smashing me in the knee for good measure. I couldn't figure this problem out. Sure I tugged, pushed, pounded, even tried prying open the windows, but in the end there was nothing I could do. On my knees before the throne of my Savior I felt something that I've never felt before. Completely powerless and absolutely nothing.

I know that I am where I am today because of nothing that I have done of myself, but the arms of the Good Shephard have carried me here. Furthermore it is because of the prayers of my family, friends, and brothers and sisters-in-Christ that those arms have continually protected me and brought me through. It is because of those prayers that I will be taking the USMLE step 1 this Wednesday, July 28th. Exactly 2 years to the day from when I first sat in an auditorium and was told "Bienvenido a UAG" (Welcome to UAG). I'm probably the only one, but God's timing on that kind of makes me smile.

I'm nervous, probably moreso than I even realize as for almost a week now I've been getting daily headaches something very odd for me. I'm doubtful. Currently I am not at a place where I feel comfortable taking this exam. Based on the progress that I have accumulated over these past months it would take at least another month of this daily studying to reach a point at which I could walk into the testing center confidently. and I'm tired. not physically, but more mentally and emotionally. Daily pep talks to combat the afore mentioned doubt, the vast majority led by myself, with Mom coming in second, have started to take there toll as I'm ping ponged back and forth between "I'm no where near ready!! I could so easily fail!!" and "God has never ever left me before. Trust. Faith."

With whatever happens on Wednesday I know that it will happen, and then it will be Thursday. And through it I will stand by the one truely solid fact that is never changing. As I start each day acknowledging the presence of my awesome God and as I end each day the same way so shall I do on Wednesday. The Lord's name will be praised.

"From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised. " Psalm 113:3

I thank you for and treasure your prayers. God Bless you! I love you.