Estoy diciendo adios.

I leave tomorrow for Togo. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life. It is time to start climbing my next mountain. If I'm honest, I am a bit apprehensive to find out just what the learning curve these next few months is going to look like. But as long as the whiplash doesn't leave any lasting complications, I know I'll be just fine. With Jesus at the wheel, any turn is maneuverable no matter high tight. 

While on assignment I will be blogging from a different platform. For stories, happenings and pictures from Togo and any/all future assignments I invite you to visit Hands of Love 

I will keep Yo estoy... for my own personal use. 

Happy New Year Everyone! I wish you peace and joy in 2023.

Much Love.

P.S. For a few laughs, my roommates and I completed the blind/deaf/mute baking challenge. We chose to make macaroons since it was something none of us had made before, nor knew how to make. Nicole is mute and the only one to be able to read the recipe. Heather is blind and the primary baker. I am deaf (had noise cancelling earbuds + music in my ears) and am the interpreter for Heather from Nicole. 

Estoy tomando cafe.

 We had family photos taken back in September this year. I'm finally getting around to posting them. If you need a smile check out the last one; it's my favorite!

  

 Absolutely love this one. 

Much Love.

Merry Christmas

 Warm wishes to you and yours this Holiday season. 

May you be blessed with joy and happiness today and everyday. 

Thanking Jesus for His gift of love to me, to you and to the world.

We got together for a roommate Christmas picture this year to send to our West Lafayette family. And as is typical, there were multiple failures before a winner. 

Attempt at yoga poses. I'll be honest, this live action, unposed and spontaneous photo was my true favorite of all that we took that evening. 

We had dressed up as each other for our picture. L to R: I had dressed up as Nicole, a Speech and Language Pathologist for Wea Ridge Elementary school district, Heather dressed up as me, and Nicole dressed up as Heather, an Entrepreneur including but not limited to Photographer, Fashion Designer and Social Media Manager.

We attempted acting out each other's roles. 

We have a winner! (It ended up being literally the very first photo of the whole photo shoot)

Merry Christmas!

Estoy en el hospital.

 There's a blizzard outside. Fitting that I'm snowed into the hospital tonight. All last winter, without fail, the snow came when I was covering call. Spent many nights at the hospital. Makes me very thankful the hospital has warm call rooms for just such an occasion. When I realized a winter storm was due to hit my last call of the year, my last call before going to Togo, I felt a combination of disappointment and defeat mixed with amusement. Disappointment and defeat at letting go of my hope that I would make it out of the cold before having to drive in snowy conditions, and the amusement at the timing. Of course it comes when I'm on call. C'est la vie. 

The last two weeks have been very busy, and it makes me anxious for Christmas. I've been covering call at the hospital 7 of the last 11 days. I've been preparing to move to another country. And I've been getting ready for the Holidays. When my flight home from Guadalajara was delayed two weeks ago, and I didn't land in Chicago until 5:12am when I was supposed to start call at 7:00am, I'll admit I worried for a second. But then the second passed, and I put it behind me, picking up my pace and pushing the gas peddle maybe a smidge too much. Made a quick stop at the house only to grab my pager, and made it to the hospital by 8:00am on the dot. My partner only had to cover an hour for me. Whew! But even more amazing than that was my ability to rest despite the craziness of the two weeks. I learned years ago to be able to grab sleep when possible while on call. However, sleep on call is never restful. You can function better with the sleep definitely, but its not the same as resting when your subconscious is not constantly keeping itself ready. For example, a smart watch can rate the quality of sleep for an individual. If I sleep while on call, it usually registers my sleep quality as in the 50s - 60s. But this week, I would wake up from grabbing sleep on call and actually feel rested. It was amazing and allowed me to focus and continue working through my long To Do List on those 4 days when I wasn't on call. Made me so appreciative of how well my Father in Heaven knows me, and cares about the little things. 

Had two different parties this week. Seems like a lot of people want to celebrate that I'm leaving...

Monday, the office had a carry-in. The spread was Mexican food, and it was so so good. Brought my guacamole. I didn't get a picture on Monday but here is a picture from the Lafayette Surgical Clinic Christmas party from a few weeks ago. My case that day had run very late, and I was tired. If I had gone home to change, I probably would not have gone, in all honesty. 

All of our Surgical Techs L to R: Ruthie, MacKenzie, me, Jody, Bailey, Tish

And then Wednesday we had a Christmas/Going Away party. They definitely know me well after just 1.5 years at the West Lafayette church. Other than the sign and balloons, no one actually said or did anything for me. There was food, and a Christmas gift exchange game, and then good conversation. Conversation that even I enjoyed and participated in. You can be impressed, my roommates definitely were. Towards the end of the evening, they kept checking with me to make sure I was still doing okay and my relational circuits hadn't grinded to a halt yet. 

First row L to R: Grant Heinold, Aaron Adrian, Tianna Huber, Heather Gerber, Callie Furrer, Julie Lanz.  Middle row L to R: Natalia Adrian, Andrew Huber, Andrea Furrer, me, Nicole Baumann.  Back row L to R: Hope Young, Tyler Tonner, Anne Heinold, Austin Roe, Jake Bowerman

I am very thankful to be able to go to Togo, and to wherever next the Lord leads. I am also incredibly thankful and so blessed to have such wonderful people here in Lafayette that I can always look forward to returning to for intermittent work months in between.

Much Love. 

Estoy a hogar.

 Eight years. It had been eight long years since last I was in Ixtlan, Mexico. At least in my defense I can semi blame COVID, as I had originally planned to visit in 2020, which we all know what happened to travel plans back then. But still, to my family in Ixtlan, I'm sorry. I should have visited sooner.

I drove that distance between Guadalajara and Ixtlan too many times to count in the four years that I lived there. I'd say it's that type of drive where you sometimes miss which landmarks you've passed, and all of a sudden you're at your destination. But I'd know that to not be honest about Mexican driving.  In Mexico you've got to pay attention at all times, otherwise you'll ram full speed into that next tope. May or may not be speaking from experience there. Despite knowing that route like the back of my hand, I still found myself a bit apprehensive returning and wondering just how much in 8 years it had changed and if I'd still know the way. Turns out, I had absolutely no reason to be apprehensive. It came flooding back as we made our way towards Ixtlan. Every turn, every sign, every tope, every roadside stand and every town we passed through was the same. By the time we turned down cinco de mayo and made our way home, I had that comfortable sensation that feels like kicking your shoes off, or drinking water from the garrafon, or walking down the middle of the street giving way to the goats and greeting everyone with a friendly "adios". Thankful for a few days that I was able to spend in Ixtlan de los Hervores this past week.

Sunset from the balcony of Bethesda. Good night world.

Outing in Zamora with Issa and Lupita.

Shopping in Zamora.

Passing through the plaza in Zamora. 

Tacos. yes please! Nothing quite so good as Mexican street tacos. 

 

Joel was willing to be my buddy. His sister Amelia wasn't quite so sure. (Lupita's littles).

Heading out for a morning bike ride.

Through the campos beyond Ixtlan, through Limon, Plaza del Limon and all the way to Valenciano

Issa humored me when I asked for a photo break.

Heading back to Ixtlan

Initially passed this home without a second thought. Then stopped and turned back to take a picture of Mexican ingenuity, literally using stacks of bricks and 2x4's precariously nailed together to support the balconey being constructed above.

It's dry season in Ixtlan right now. More than a few people commented on how brown everything is right now. But the bougainvilleas on the side of the church illustrate what "dry" and "brown" in Mexico is considered. Just imagine their rainy green season!

 

I got to go up to the secundaria and help a couple of days with their practice for the Christmas program.

Loved getting to know the Gerber family better. Their oldest Caleb was a toddler when I left and Abby a baby when I visited in 2014. Grabbed a photo quick with Abby and Suzy during kid's club on Friday evening. 

Girl's afternoon out at El Kuri for seafood. Issa & Lupita.

Afternoon from the top of the stairs

Sunset from the top of the stairs. All week long they were burning the fields. And of course skies clear all week long except the one evening I want to photograph the sunset.

Sunrise from Bethesda

Issa & Cecy

 

  

Elsa, Issa & Lupita

 

Much Love.

Estoy preparando salir.

 The PA system of a hospital is a type of paging system. Just loud and very public rather than the direct individual signal to the small black box on my waistband that sets off the pavlovian chain reaction of acute tachycardia, tachypnea, and mydraisis. Perhaps the most common overhead page announced at the hospital is "Sepsis Alert. ED. Now." and for some reason it gets me almost every time. I hear "Dr. Stoller. ED. Now." I pause and wait for the repeat; wondering what could be so emergent they didn't bother to shoot me a page and opted to just announce it to the whole hospital. On the repeat, it inevitably is Sepsis not Stoller, and I go about my business wondering how on earth I keep getting those two mixed up. 

 Then, the other morning I was walking outside the ED and passed one of our Anesthesiologists who made a quip about "getting to the ED now!" And then asked me what the emergency had been. Confused I responded as such. To which he pointed out I had been overhead paged to the ED about 30 minutes prior. Realization sunk in when it dawned on me the only overhead page that morning had been a sepsis alert to the ED, approximately 30 minutes prior. I am not, therefore, crazy for hearing Stoller instead of Sepsis. Nor the only one to hear it. Always good to know we are not alone.

For the past two months I've been slowly trying to make a graceful exit from the practice in order to go to Togo without leaving my partners more work than their own. I stopped accepting new referrals in October. However, due to the holidays and the time I took surrounding the oral boards, I find I'm still running up to the wire trying to find a place to squeeze everyone in. In addition, multiple of my patients are recently requiring additional follow up. Follow up which I can not provide for them. It makes me feel like a jerk each time. For example, "sorry, you've got cancer. see ya!" Granted, I am much more empathetic with my delivery and I do provide them the referrals they need and support as appropriate. But still, makes me feel like a jerk (and that's putting it nicely). No matter how "graceful" of an exit I attempt. This role is not one that by it's nature provides for any sort of delicate exit.

Much Love.