Yo estoy...: Estoy recordando la razón.

February 2020 I had sent an email to Hospital Lumiere in Bonne Fin, Haiti inquiring to the possibility of a visit Spring of 2021. Of course, the response was sure, but contact us when closer. Then COVID happened. And I never followed up, all thoughts of travel appropriately squelched. So when looking forward to the week I had set aside in March for potential vacation I contemplated my options. I shot off an email to Hospital Lumiere, thinking on such short notice it would be a no-go, and was extremely ecstatic to receive instead a response in the affirmative. I had the appropriate plane tickets purchased, and papers signed within the next 24hours. Last week, negative COVID swab paperwork in hand, I flew to Haiti and was able to work at Hospital Lumiere.

Words can not express how much the hospital helped me last week. More than any effort I could have possibly made to help those patients. To my regret, in my hurry to throw items in my backpack and get out my door in time, I forgot my travel journal. Shame. Especially now when I think back on the week and try to weed through jumbled thoughts and ideas.

I was again immediately hit with the handicap caused by language barrier. I picked up the Creole much easier this time than last visit. But lesson learned. It really illustrated how vital language will be with wherever God takes me in the future. My fellowship has mentioned sending me to Rwanda.... I have a strong desire to start learning Swahili, Kinyarwanda and French now!!!! I need to speak with my patients.

It was interesting to see the hospital, the people and the culture through a new perspective this visit. The last time I traveled to Haiti I was a baby intern. It was my very first year of residency 2015. Compare that with 7 years of experience, and being in my last year of residency 2021. I used caution with what I allowed myself to say in the hospital and OR; knowing that what I saw and understood was being interpreted through my American culture and not the Haitian culture. One year in Haiti would not even make me qualified to interpret Haitian intent let alone one measly week, and knowing that I didn't want to offend by projecting my own ideas on what I didn't understand in the first place. But it was very eye opening and left me with many questions that hopefully one day I'll be able to obtain answers.

Sunday sunrise

Sunday sunrise over Haiti

There's a Haitian proverb that I kept coming back to throughout the week.

"Beyond mountains, there are mountains."

A proverb applicable in so many ways to life, love and people.... not just geography.

Would you like this to be your front gate? It comes with more than just an amazing view, and to appropriately respond must be understood it's not a yes/no question.

Morning sunshine greeting everyday as I waited for rounds to start. With the vast majority of my pictures taken as we hiked around the mountains surrounding the hospital, one could assume I didn't actually go to the hospital. Truth be told, I was incredibly nervous to take pictures in the hospital. As I didn't want anyone to see and feel like they were on display. So I took limited pictures in the hospital.

Spent much of my time after the hospital with Trinity Walder and Lydianne Metzger. They were my adventure buddies for the week!

I did happen to write down a thought after this particular hike to the hydro, which included steep climbs, wading through rivers, running under waterfalls and cliff jumping.

What I smelled like at the end of the day: stale hospital ward, washed with Haitian river water, sweat mixed with red dirt, smoke from an open charcoal fire, sunshine and goat. And, if you cared to smell my hands there'd be a faint hint of talc and latex added in.

Was great to reconnect with Sarah. We decided the last time I had seen her was over 10 years ago in Mexico when she was studying Spanish in Morelia. Needless to say life is quite different today than our last meeting. Amazing what God can do, and thankful for social media that helps me keep up with the many many changes I miss in my friends' lives.

We had a few friends that desperately wanted to come play with us, especially Lydianne!

Halfway through my week, Felicien (PGY3 Haitian ortho resident) came to Hospital Lumiere on a three month assignment from his home program in Port-au-Prince. He joined us on our hydro hike.

It's unfortunately difficult to tell in the photo, but Hospital Lumiere is the top most white line of buildings across the way there.

As I traveled in and out on a Sunday, the opportunity for a trip to the beach presented itself. I wasn't going to turn it down, even if it ment swimming in my clothes again! It was a warm and relaxing perfect end to the week. Good time to reflect.

I'll be honest, as hard as it was to not be able to speak with my patients, once I could accept that, there was a freedom allotted me by my inability to adequately communicate. I realized retrospectly that I had just spent a week during which no one had asked for anything of me, demanded anything, or required anything of me that was wrong. I had been in a relationship with those around me that had been respectful and relaxed. I worked alongside my colleagues learning from them and vice versa. I had felt like I could breathe again, not knowing that I had been holding my breath.