Estoy sola.

We asked for busy. Signed up for it in a way. I'm starting to realize I may not be taking care to get enough sleep to maintain our current kind of busy. I usually rely on caffeine, but its been so busy that I don't have time to get coffee throughout the day, so have to keep going on adrenaline and take care not to ever sit down. I'd not be able to get up again if I did. May have to do some rearranging of priorities... easier said than done.

Medical students were allowed back in the hospital. Hadn't realized it until I saw the short white coats wandering the hallways, but it had been months since last seen. We don't let them go to see any COVID patients and they aren't allowed to scrub on any COVID + cases, so keeping their exposure limited.

We haven't had our increase of cases in Westchester yet. Still pending. For now COVID has become more of a check-box. Any admission, were they swabbed? Any cases, what's their result? And on vascular we have many chronic patients, we list their COVID status on our list, making sure to repeat the swab weekly so as to always have an updated result in case they need an emergent procedure at any time.

The other day I had come in to round with my team and do a quick case. Our patient, COVID +, ended up becoming acutely unstable middle of the procedure, at which time we immediately aborted, and wrapped things up to go to the ICU. It was almost 90 minutes later when we were finally allowed to leave to operating room. I had spoken to the ICU myself, and we were set to go to PACU. I don't need to go through the details, but in summary, due to the patient being COVID positive, everyone wanted to make sure appropriate precautions were in place, dragging their feet, and then changing the plans on us multiple times. I grew rather frustrated with the system, sitting for 90 minutes with a critical patient. What was supposed to be a short case, turned out to be more a waste of time, unfortunately, which didn't improve my frustration in anyway.

But if that is our current stresses dealing with COVID, it pales with what many states are dealing with.  Have you checked the most recent curve? It's available and frequently updated.

It's unreal what is happening in our nation. This virus continues to wipe us out, irrespective of our age, race, gender, etc. People are dying, and many more are going to die. In a way we are acting like school-age children. I remember being still small and my entire universe revolved around me, my needs, my wants, my thoughts, wishes and questions. I had gotten frustrated waiting 90 minutes with my patient. How quickly I forgot what it was like to have our ICUs overflowing, and the hospital buckling under the burden of COVID. Reality in Texas, Arizona, Florida right now... and as those numbers continue to sky-rocket many more. Perhaps even here in New York again.

May we continue to pray for our fellow humans. Those sick, those caring for the sick and for those trying to protect one another.

Much love and prayers.