Estoy tratando sobrevivir una sistema maligna.

When I was in the 8th grade I qualified for the State track meet in the 100m hurdles. My sister put my hair in cornrows. I had new spikes on my cleats. And it started out well, I even made it to the finals with the fourth fastest time. That last race it felt like everything fell apart. I was off balance, and the harder I tried to right myself the more off balance I became, until I finally wobbled past the finish line. That race really impacted me. (Obviously, as it is now a hundred years later, and I’m still bringing it up.) I wrote about it back in high school, poems even. At one point I think I likened it to “pushing against bars.” You can feel the effort by not see it. Thankfully, God ultimately used it to his glory, because it brought me to admit the truth for the first time that, I could not do it on my own. I had gotten myself all the way to the finals... but on my own, I could not finish it.

He’s been finishing my races for me since that time.  Short races. Long races. And then there’s distances... I wonder if it’ll ever finish. We each have our own challenges. We’re only human after all, and quite prone to imperfections.  Teachers wanting nothing more than to work for their students, but first have yet another state mandated requirement to fulfill taking their time away from the actual teaching. Nurses just want to help their patient’s but first have to complete a module to be certified to complete the documentation required to log their nursing report which is required both before and after they provide a patient care. Mother, Wall Street broker, Lawyer, Hotel Manager, TSA agent and  last but not least Doctor. Or not even doctors, just residents. All running a race.

I came home from work this morning, exhausted from a long call of pushing against bars. I sit here and ruminate over rhetorical questions like, “Will it ever end?” Or theoretical questions like, “Is there a different angle to push against?”  Do I even do this anymore? And, if it does finally end, will I even be me anymore? Which brings me back to the conclusion I came to a hundred years ago... Not on my own.

I choose, never on my own.



Much Love. 

Estoy nadando.

There's a very calming effect of snorkeling or diving caused by the disruption of sound waves as you submerge. As you pull your head beneath the water, it's kind of like leaving one world and entering another. There is no sound, just you, and your steady breathing. In. and Out. In. and Out. It's a perfect past time for the introvert.

I can pretend I'm diving under at times, even while standing upright on dry ground and in the middle of a crowd. There's a well-known Disney/Pixar fish with short term memory loss who likes to say "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!" This fish is quoted quite often. I've heard my co-residents say it more than I can count. It's one of those safe phrases like, "it'll all work out" that is ment to be encouraging but really isn't saying anything. But if you say it at least twice and in a sing-song voice, "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!" it'll at least elicit a smile.

I dove under at 3am this morning. We had a trauma come in with report that the patient had fallen down a flight of stairs and now wasn't moving his arms. The ED Attending last night has really bad ADHD or something. She buzzes about me spouting all these worse case scenarios, not standing still for two seconds. She got even worse when the patient actually arrived. I wasn't able to complete my full trauma exam because she started asking the patient a million question getting distracted about this one time that he vomited three months ago in Toronto. At this point I caught the eyes of one of the nurses and could tell she was feeling the same frustration. (vomiting three months ago in Toronto, 100% irrelevant to the case right in front of us). Low and behold the patient was not only moving his arms but was 100% neurovascularly intact. This ED attending didn't believe my exam so actually repeated the exam herself. When she got the same intact exam she shook her head, as if refusing to believe what she herself had just witnessed and continued talking to me under her breath about spinal cords injuries and huge work-up that the patient would need, and then throwing onto the end of her vomiting of words that the patient was probably drunk (even though he denied it).  Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! I called my Attending and convinced him we needed to put this patient on observation. I had justifiable reasons, the patient needed IV rehydration and reevaluation in the morning, etc, etc..., but really, I just wanted to get the poor patient away from this ED attending. There's a few people like that I cross paths with as a surgery resident. One's like the ED attending I'm referring to above, I just preemptively dive under when I realize who I'll be working with. Keep it calm. Keep it cool. Keep it happy.

Here's a few bonus photos from the Galapagos, taken on Jenna's GoPro, to help us all Just Keep Swimming!

 Hello Mr. Sea Turtle

 Las Gietas

 Las Grietas

 Cliff jumping at Las Grietas 

Cliff jumping at Las Grietas

Snorkling at Tintoreras take??

Snorkeling at Tintoreras take??... who cares, we got one!! :)

 Much Love.

Czech Republic, (Prague, Cesky Krumlov and then some) with a dash through Istanbul - Turkey

From San Francisco, I changed directions and started heading East. Back to the East Coast, pausing in JFK for a layover just long enough to meet up with Marcy Bahler, and then on again, further East.

As March was approaching this year, and I would tell people I was headed to Prague, the #1 question I would get was, "Why?" Which let me counter with, "Why not?" For illustration, see below.

 The Powder Tower

 Duke Wenceslas I in Wenceslas Square, the center of New Town.

 Old Town Square from the Old Town Hall, Tyn Church and the Easter markets in the square

 Looking out over Old Town from Old Town Hall tower

 Check out this door at the Basilica of Sts. Peter and Paul, on the grounds of Vysehrad. Just the door alone is enough, you can only imagine the rest.

 The dancing house

Walking along the Vltava River

 Walking along the Vltava, Prague Castle in the background.

 If you want to experience the Charles Bridge semi-vacant, first thing in the morning is the best!

 Charles Bridge East Tower

 Charles Bridge West Tower

 St. Vitus Cathedral at Prague Castle

Kings, tombs and crown jewels. Since A.D. 930, a church has been here. 

 St. Vitus Cathedral, Prague Castle

 St. Vitus's, 400ft long and 100ft high

 Basilica of St. George, Prague Castle

Castle Square & Archbishop's Palace at the West end entrance to Prague Castle

 Taste of Prague at Kantyna. 

 Taste of Prague group at Krystal Bistro

 neboj = do not fear

 Zizkov TV Tower

 Charles Bridge at dusk

 Prague Castle at dusk

 Charles Bridge West Tower

Wandering the streets of Prague by lamplight

 Almond Tree blossoms in the gardens of Petrin Park

 Jewish Quarter. Old Jewish Cemetery. 12,000 tombstones for 85,000 buried here, seven or eight deep. The cemetery has actually plateaued several feet above modern street level

 Jewish Quarter. Spanish Synagogue.

 The Metronome. Overlooking Prague from Letna Park as a reminder of the times, a call to remember. 

Lennon Wall

Renting a car we headed outside of Prague for a few days.

 Konopiste Castle

 A place to sit. A story to share. 

 Hluboka Castle, view from the rose gardens

 Hluboka Castle. I feel like I'm flying.

 Hluboka Castle.

 Hluboka Castle. Marcy found her future home! ;)

 Made it down to Cesky Krumlov before the light disappeared for the evening.

 Where the Vltava bends, you'll find nestled a town called Cesky Krumlov.

 What is a Czech town, without a castle? and of course the Tower.

 Cesky Krumlov from the Castle Tower

 Cesky Krumlov from the Castle Tower. Snowing.

Cesky Krumlov. Snowing. 

 Cesky Krumlov.

 Cesky Krumlov.

 Cesky Krumlov.

 Cesky Krumlov Castle. A place to sit. A story to share.

 Cesky Krumlov Castle Tower.

Marcy and I at Cesky Krumlov.

 Cesky Krumlov Castle illuminated, silhouetting the castle tower and highlighting tunnels beneath the tower.

 As the river bends around the castle.

 Cesky Krumlov castle and the path between its five courtyards.

 Easter Markets at Cesky Krumlov opened the morning we were to leave town.

Easter markets.

 One last view of Krumlov before heading off again.

 Next stop, Trebon.

 Rooftop lining Trebon square.

 Got a chuckle out of a random guy sitting out and chilling on his rooftop.

 Trebon, Czech Republic

 Fishing village of Telc, Czech Republic

 Town square in Telc. A place to sit.  A story to share.

 ...or an ice cream cone at least, as these two boys taking a break from their bike ride.

Telc has the largest town square in the Czech Republic. Each store front, at least 300 years old.

 Heading back to Prague, random castle in the middle of a field.

 Feeding the swans along the Charles Bridge at the banks of the Vltava.

 Watching as the moon came out above the city.

Charles Bridge

 West end of the Charles Bridge

 Prague Castle, from the Charles Bridge

 Easter Markets in all their cheer and happiness, Old Town Square.

 Marcy & I, Old Town Square Easter Decor

Prague sunrise from the Castle Quarter

Prague sunrise from the Prague Castle

 Statue on the West end of the Charles Bridge

 Prague metro stop.

Sadly time to leave, but not without a 24 hour layover in Istanbul, Turkey.

 The Blue Mosque

 Sultanahmet. The Blue Mosque.

 Sultanahmet. The Blue Mosque.

 

 Ayasofa. Hagia Sophia.

The Blue Mosque

 Ayasofa. Hagia Sophia. It is tulip season in Istanbul!

 Sultanahmet. The Blue Mosque.

 The Blue Mosque was closed for visitors due to renovations. We were able to visit the outside courtyard. 

 

 Sultanahmet. The Blue Mosque.

The Basilica Cistern

 The Grand Bazaar. Istanbul

 The Grand Bazaar. Istanbul.

 The Grand Bazaar. Istanbul.

 The Spice Market. Istanbul.

 The Bosphorus.

 The Call to Prayer.

and no vacation is complete without ice cream!

I hope this in some small way can help explain, "why Prague!"

Much Love.