Estoy ir de compras para zapatos nuevos.

The wear and tear of life is expected. One deals by coping with whichever choice mechanism they prefer. Some may take precautionary and preventative measures, such as face creams and skin oils, padding the soles of their shoes and taking daily vitamins. Others may deal by rebellion, live to the fullest while they can, and can typically be found in a situation involving alcohol or other mind altering substance. I'm starting to detect one such pattern in my life, and am realizing I may fall into a subgroup category that copes by simply ignoring the wear and tear even exists.
Take my shoes as example. They started falling apart a long time ago, so I stitched them back together, twice. Each time the stitches rubbed through. I didn't get the message.  I just tried taping them back together instead. Nope, message still not computing. The other day the sole itself cracked in half. Okay, I think I finally get it now.

Time for new shoes.

Much Love.

Estoy practicando mis palabras.

I went to my first deposition today.

I received the deposition subpoena some time ago and quite honestly did not know what to make of it. Thankfully my lawyer met with me last week to answer any questions that I had as to my role and what to expect.

Advice that I received from various sources:
- Do not volunteer information.
- Answer yes or no.
- Always think and/or pause at least 2 seconds before answering.
- Whatever you do, don’t get angry.
- No matter how nice he is to you, the plantiff’s lawyer is NOT your friend.

I asked my lawyer if she likes depositions, as I could not imagine doing this as a job. Without directly saying yes, she instead gave examples that I could understand just how a lawyer loves the thrill of a deposition.

And I saw it first hand. Rapid fire questions requiring you to be on edge the entire time. Correctly placed “objections” to protect your client. The entire time a word game to catch a lie or incriminating words. Things can escalate quickly.

One of my attendings told me his longest deposition was eight hours. Thankfully mine did not last that long. But it gave me a new appreciation for lawyers, as in a way I could relate to the focus and mental stamina they must possess. Think of a liver transplant, one that goes well lasts roughly 5hours with the most important part 4hours into the case. Loss of focus for a second and the stitch is misplaced, the duct transected, or anastamosis under too much tension.  Likewise a lawyer’s loss of focus four hours into the deposition and they miss the question that is reworded and reasked for the 15th time and the client answers before they can object. And just like in the transplant, things can escalate quickly with perhaps poor outcome.

I am thankful for lawyers, and will gladly leave the word games to them.

Much Love.

Estoy joven.

My parents and sister visited this past weekend. I was granted the weekend off from my responsibilities at the hospital to spend the time with them. The Cloisters were recommended to me prior to my moving out East, and had remained on my list of places to see since that time. I finally was able to make a triumphant check as the four of us stopped by Saturday morning.

 View from the Terrace, GW Bridge half obscured by fog. 

 A place to sit. A story to tell.

 Fellowship Hall

 "Plants used in Medievel Medicine"

"Self Heal, All-heal"

 

Much Love.

Estoy escuchando el ritmo.

The day almost got by me without a single case. I was taking the opportunity to complete some paperwork and research. I even got to eat lunch with my team! But I did say almost, almost got by me. Flight EMS rolled through the trauma bay doors asking where to take the aneurysm. This coincided with the Vascular chief calling me to look out for the same aneurysm and see it immediately. Less than an hour later we had our hands in his belly, one goal on our mind. Control. Get control first. Aneurysm second. I don't think I've ever listened so intently to the beeping monitors at the head of the bed before. The steady beep, signifying the rhythm of life, the heart rate. I listened to that beep the whole case long, wondering just when, if when it would suddenly stop. We kept working, the beep remained steady, and eventually I started to notice the crowd of anesthesia at the head of the bed started to thin down. They started moving slower, and then they started relieving each other for breaks. The beep kept going, and so did we. By the time we finally finished and safely got our patient to the ICU, it was late.


Much Love!


Speaking of rhythms... It's been awhile since I've shared one. Here's a rhythm I've been enjoying the recent past while.

Estoy sola.

The team I have been assigned to this month has changed its political makeup since the last time I flew its colors, carried its banners, and yelled its war chant. Ha, kidding... but not really. It's almost like three individual houses banded together under a single title with one Chief. Although, in reality, the houses govern themselves, and the chief stands there and smiles. And as for my role?... The word that comes to mind is a PAWN. The least valuable player, I have no say over where I go, or what I do. And at the same time, the most valuable player. Every morning its like I'm auctioned off to whomever claims me first. Oftentimes this auctioning continues throughout the day and my assigned cases are often changed and rearranged. I'm strategically moved wherever and whenever the chiefs desire pending case loads of all teams and which residents are actually available for the day.

There's a part of me that protests at feeling used and abused, but I get over it quick enough, because at the end of the day I'm in the OR.

Much Love.