I went to HAL today and took my last exam of medical
school.And then I left… for the last
time.Of all the emotions I could
possibly be feeling right now, I’m more somber than anything…almost as if I’m
stunned.It’s so hard to believe.Did that really just happen?Did I really just finish medical school?
I’d woken up early
for some last minute cramming this morning and it hit me. I started tearing up humbled by the realization
and by seeing God’s grace so much more evident in retrospect.He was right there the whole time.The times I clung to him so incredibly
alone.The times I cried out so
incredibly lost and confused.The times
I planted my feet, crossed my arms and glared so incredibly frustrated. If I am anything, I AM HIS.And this is for Him.I pray with all my heart that as this dance
continues onto the next step, He will continue by my side molding me into what
He deems useful.
Hasta!
Medical School. Been there. Done that. (hehe, sorry. couldn't resist)
Don't worry. I'm calmed down so no venting this post. Just got back from the boxing class at the gym with Vero, and it felt like....relief? I hadn't been in probably about a year and the boxing coach still remembered me. Normally he would have technique or stance tips for me as he made his rounds. Tonight he and Vero would just make fun of the faces I was making and cheer me on yelling, harder! harder! I had no problem obliging them.
We had our class pictures yesterday. First round in white. Second round in our togas. It was horribly uncomfortable as they were outside and they set us up facing into the sun. They took a good amount and you'd have to hold your position sweat pouring down you. To top it off I was trying to walk around in heels. I got a few approving comments..totally fed my girl ego hehe, but still couldn't wait to get them off. The great thing about class picture time was that in spite of the horrible conditions everyone was happy, and cheering, and wooping. I'd say it was even fun. It was a reason to laugh. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if none of the pictures actually turn out (there's bound to be a handful with their eyes closed in every one). But that's okay. And if you look close enough you'll notice that half of us aren't actually wearing our tassels in the toga picture (that's another story) but that's okay too. I'd say it would represent us well just like that. ;)
Hopefully I can get ahold of some pictures from the shoot!
This week was the week of finals for those that were in Puerto Rico for the semester, for those that did electives in Mexico, and then for those others that fall between the lines...like me. Of the six I only took the two that were today.
1. First was the Emergency Medicine exam. I went into that exam with perhaps a combined grand total of 9 hours I had studied throughout the past week. So basically I hadn't studied. Yes that makes me a bad student, but I consciously made that decision. I studied for my other exams instead. I reasoned that if by the end of four years of medical school I can't handle a basic emergency medicine test...well then I don't deserve to pass it.
2. Second was the Trauma exam. Unlike in the US, Trauma here in Mexico is synonymous with Orthopedics. So even though I did Trauma in the US......I've never actually taken care of an Orthopedics patient nor even studied the topic. Make more sense why I opted to study for Trauma over ER? I got a 60% on that exam, and let me tell you I have never ever been so proud of a 60% in my life. I could have danced out of that room. Honestly, I'd probably have been fine even if I hadn't passed...it's UAG, but I hate that and wanted to actually deserve to pass.
With each of these exams accomplished I feel like my courage is growing. I'm actually starting to believe that I'm gonna get out of UAG. I know I shouldn't be so hard on UAG, I just have a really hard time helping it. For example, the other day I watched the video below and in my head I started replacing "the World" with UAG. I know it doesn't really fit, but if you say it as a Mexican (as a word instead of letters, kind of like ooag) it's not as awkward.
The Newsies are singing about fighting against the powers that be. Maybe Crutchy says it best with "And we'll kick their rear!" :) I'm not exactly fighting against UAG....in fact I've done nothing but jump as high....as ridiculously high, as they've asked for four years now that I harbor the exact same sentiment the Newsies have, ENOUGH!
hmmmmm. not really sure what exactly just happened there. I guess subconsciously I really really really wanted you to watch that video 4 times. No, just kidding. I really don't know what happened. But someone on my street was practicing the saxophone and I thought I'd share a bit of my study break with you. That's all. Enjoy!
"Sometimes time passes quickly," said the giraffe. Unfortunately for the baboon this is not one of those times, poor baboon.
No I'm not quoting something....just trying to make life interesting. It worked....kind of....for a second or two at least.
I'm passing my days trying to finish out the semester. Prioritize my studying. Remain positive. And all that.
Palliative care has turned into a thorn in my side. I scheduled hours at a hospital on a Saturday. Spent two hours getting lost until I finally arrived to discover the doctora wasn't there that Saturday. (Good thing I didn't have a gun..I'd have shot somethin'!!!) I returned home after wasting the entire morning and packed a bag to head to Ixtlan. Was on my way and got a text from the doctora saying 'Sorry, Can you come tomorrow instead?' (once again, good thing I didn't have a gun!) Then I had a shorter pain psychology session at HAL which I was told the wrong time for. I handed in all the work I was told to do and then was sent away with more work. Tried turning all that in and was given still more work. Ahhhhh! That was three times in a row I was told "All your missing is, blah blah blah." I turn in blah blah blah, and whoops "why don't you do this too." Frustrating because with finals and partials approaching I just wanted to get pain out of the way so I wouldn't have to pay attention to it while studying. AND they weren't letting me do that. And then frustrating turned to mad when last Friday the work they assigned me was to watch a movie and hand in a review about it. To be honest, I was mad because it felt immature and a waste of time to be ASSIGNED a movie review at this point of a medical education. One can learn from movies, but in this particular case, the movie was about death and Shintoism burial rituals, and the underlying message was that death is not the end, but rather just a door. DUH!!! I could have written the review without the 2 1/2 hour movie. So now I've got this movie review saved on the computer and have had it so since last Friday. Just not in a hurry to hand it in so they can say....now do this too....for the 4th time.
Last week I gave a presentation for Urology. The whole presentation a guy in the back stared at me smirking. I had to consciously keep from looking in his direction cause everytime I saw the smirk I wanted to smack him. Today his turn came up to present. I contemplated returning the favor and after trying to smirk realized that a true smirk really isn't a facial expression that can be consciously reproduced. So I gave up contemplating and focused instead on trying to keep my eyes open.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful moms I know. The new ones, the experienced ones, the mothers to few, the mothers to many. You all are special.
Here in Mexico, Mother's Day is always on May 10th. So last Thursday my friends kept asking me if I'd wished my mother a Happy Mother's Day. To say no that I hadn't got me looks from people that said..."Wow! Never would have pegged you as cold and heartless." Ouch! But really.... if I'd posted Happy Mother's Day last Thursday instead of waiting until today, pretty sure I'd have gotten corrected somehow more than once...so I went ahead and waited until today.
So Mom, your "cold and heartless" daughter loves you. Happy Mother's Day.
