Estoy orando.

 We are feeling the after-affects of Hurricane Helene here in Lafayette, IN. Baxter Manufacturing in NC is a global supplier of IV fluids, amongst other things, and Franciscan contracts with Baxter supplying all facilities with the IV fluids required for resuscitation, for maintenance, and yes, for surgery. The manufacturing site was completely destroyed by Hurricane Helene and there is currently no timeline when it can be up and running again. Last week, just as I had gotten up and running again, back in the groove, they asked all purely elective cases to be postponed until the hospital's supply of IV fluids can be resumed. I felt incredibly dejected puttering to a "slow way down" once again just as I was ready to sprint to the end of the year. 

I have to keep reminding myself that, as I am not physically in NC myself, the hospital itself is still standing and not destroyed by Hurricane waters and winds, I really have no room to complain, and definitely much to be thankful for. But sometimes, it is just so much easier said than done. I have a long list of patients waiting for their surgeries, and I would love to line them up and satisfy their requests. But here we are waiting. So hard sometimes.  

Waiting really does take a lot of faith, and the balance between waiting, continuing to wait, and action seems to blur at times. 

Last weekend we served lunch for the West Lafayette church, menu = baleadas. But we still found some time to spend else wise. 

When your birthday cake is aerated, and delivered saying "eat immediately or it will dissipate", you of course have to pause to take a picture!

We finally made it to Wolf Park in Battle Ground, IN. Invited Carrie, Troy and nephews to join!

They really are beautiful animals.

Howl Night at Wolf Park. 

Much Love.

Estoy disfrutando el otoño.

Today is the last day of my unexpected and spontaneously open two weeks. Just stopping by to photo dump from the past two weeks. Kind of fun to take pictures of us doing life. 

Happy 33rd birthday Jake. I love you!

Joining Jake in the tractor, spent the evening harvesting soybeans.

Jake has helped White Farms during harvest for many years. It was fun getting to meet the Whites.

 Taking the moto out for evening rides.

Exploring those old forgotten cemeteries.

Trail running on the Wabash Heritage Trail.

The Wishing Tree

 

Much Love.

Estoy pasando tiempo.

Time is a funny thing. Such an eloquent turn-of-phrase, my own literary prowess impresses even me. Yes, I'm being highly facetious to cover up the fact that I started this paragraph with such a weak statement. I can try again, perhaps fickle would be a better adjective for such a deserving noun as time. A month ago, approximately, I was notified of a work trip to Israel. It would last two weeks, and I had less than 3 weeks notice. It led to what has been the most stressful week I've experienced in a long time. The week prior to my projected deployment I was on call leaving me with 1.5 weeks to be not only ready for the deployment to Israel, but also for what was to be waiting when I returned in October. Fast-forward those three weeks, and at seemingly last minute, the trip was cancelled. My first reaction was disappointment that I had struggled through the stress and arrived on the other side, to find that it hadn't even been necessary. At work we had managed to completely clear my weeks, including all surgeries and clinics as well as calls either covered or cancelled and rescheduled. I felt rather foolish having asked the office staff, my tech and my partners to jump through hoops for me, all for nothing. As I moved on from the disappointment and began to cycle through the 5 stages a feeling of disrespect crept in. I felt disrespected. I had been asked to play a wild and hectic game of Tetris... only it wasn't a game, it had been real life and very real patients had been affected by it.  I don't question God's timing, and freely accept I was either needed at home, or protected from something in Israel, or perhaps I just needed the exercise in flexibility. All of which held me right where I needed to be, when I needed to be there. 

In these extra two weeks I was able to attend the funeral for my great aunt Beth. I was able to help Jake work through his last few weeks of his Spanish class. (Which illustrates why my grade school desire of being a teacher when I grew up, thankfully, did not come to fruition.) I have gotten to see Harvest 2024 get underway. I was able to spend a rainy weekend camping with some friends. I was able to attend Bible study and small group, and otherwise invest time in our community. 

In essence, we are blessed with time. I pray to never take it for granted and always appreciate where I am, and when I am there.

Estoy en guardia.

The theme for call this week has been appendicitis. It actually was a trend my partner started last week. But seems like every appendix is coming screaming and howling. It's Friday and the start of my stretch of 3 days into the weekend. Not exactly the most fun way to spend a weekend, but when you consider it allows my partners a whole weekend, and then that flips next week. I have to admit enjoying having the majority of my weekends without call, and therefore take my turn as best I can.

This morning started working together on a case with our Gastroenterologist, and him expressing,"Isn't it amazing what dodo can do?" Definitely good for a chuckle or two, but I still haven't decided how that bodes for the call. Call me superstitious, but I am now filled with an ominous feeling of what is waiting for me over the next three days. 

To distract myself... enjoy these pictures of Jake and I at our RidersFirst motorcycle safety beginners class. We are both official motorcycle endorsed and anxiously awaiting the title of our own moto so we can keep practicing (not just in our own backyard!). Ready for the mountain trails in Honduras is the goal!

With our instructors Daniel & Justin and our whole class.

Much Love.

Estoy preocupada.

I was reading an article today entitled "Why some injection drug users lick their needles: A preliminary survey. " I had been prompted to seek out this information by, of course, real life. Having now read the list of collective reasons the various IDU's verbalized as qualifiers worthy enough to justify such unhygienic behavior, I can only shake my head. I do not understand. 

I do not understand the practice, and even moreso, do not understand the practice being significant enough to warrant a group of investigators formulating, implementing and carrying out a study on the subject. The results meriting publication in the International Journal of Drug Policy in 2008. 

No, I have never tried it, never experienced the high that is sought as a priority over relationships, over financial stability, over health, and yes even over life at times. Could you say that disqualifies me from understanding? Perhaps. But then again, does anyone truly understand the seemingly alternate reality these fellow human beings live in? Sure, they can give a reason, a justification, but the very nature of the drug itself which they are justifying leaves them without; an emptiness even they would be feign to deny. They'd have to admit even they themselves don't understand. 

But I'll digress, before feathers perhaps get ruffled. The lesson I am taking, perspectives are important to recognize. Even perspectives, that try as we might, we are unable to understand. It illustrates the grandiosity, the illustriousness or the prestige of the lies the Evil One can create, to which all of us, including myself, are susceptible.

Much Love.

Estoy apreciando las flores silvestres.

 The wildflowers have been beautiful this year. Despite growing up in the MidWest, I scan through my memories and come up with nothing more than appreciating the lone Queen Anne's Lace that would grow along the 2-mile block we'd ride/run North of Gridley. Makes me wonder if my appreciation of nature was in the past short-sighted or just for some reason, this year is in fact especially bounteous. Secretly hoping for the later... But either way, I run along the county roads West of Brookston now and the butterflies flutter round me, startled from their chosen flower. 

As Jake and I begin tackling the questions and decisions in these beginning steps towards long-term missions, I start to see the mountains ahead, waiting for us to climb. It makes me appreciate this time we have together right now a little bit more. Mountains bring their own challenges and joys. I've climbed many mountains together with Jesus in the past, and now together with Jake the three of us will climb many more. I am thankful for those occasional pauses God blesses us with. Those moments to appreciate the wild flowers. 

Stoller family photos 2024 (amongst the wildflowers!)

couldn't resist including this one.

Loved this one of Chelli with the boys!

Some of my favorites taken of just Jake & I.

My favorite picture from the whole shoot. 

Bonus picture from the evening. Took this one myself as requested by Lincoln!

Much Love.

Te quiero.

 "I'm mad at you!" he declared, as I walked into his hospital room. I paused, unsure of how to take his declaration, as it was not the typical expression usually received from my post op patients. He elaborated for me, "I'm sore, and," he held up his coffee cup for emphasis, "I want some toast!" 

He was an elderly, stubborn gentleman I'd had the pleasure of meeting the day before. He had only finally presented to the hospital after a week of pain and not being able to tolerate food. His gallbladder by then had turned into varying degrees of dead and dying, and of this he was blissfully ignorant. His independence of the utmost import to him, he had requested I not call anyone or talk to anyone after surgery. Life, he went on to explain, had always seen him as the caretaker of others, and he refused to acknowledge that roles perhaps needed to be reversed. 

And now I stood, apparently on trial, and I wondered was this worth it. Worth the tip-toeing through tiger country for over an hour to find his thin little duct and its accompanying associated artery? I smiled. I've handled much worse. I proceeded to strip his blissful ignorance away layer, by layer. His eyes grew round. He sat a little deeper in the bed. He sheepishly confessed that he had just been teasing wanting toast, and by the end we were joking about when the funeral for his dead gallbladder was going to be held.  

Sometimes those stubborn grumpy elderly individuals, are the softest teddy bears on the inside.  As I left his room the following day he even told me that he loved me, explaining that in general, we don't say that often enough to each other. 

I love you.