Thursday, November 30, 2017

Estoy cansada.

I’ve learned that I am not allowed to complain. Especially in the presence of nurses. Even if you’re just trying to empathize with a group of complaining nurses, they’ll shut you down right fast. Wag a finger at you saying, “you signed up for it.”
So I’ve learned to simply listen intently and agree with whatever they need my assent on. And no matter how I’m feeling, or the day is actually going, when asked, the appropriate response is always, “Living the Dream.”

Most of the time, it’s the truth. But then sometimes, it’s about all you can do to look straight and keep calm. For me, those times come when I’m already baseline exhausted. As a surgical resident, we will acknowledge that we walk around the hospital with baseline GCS14. (Ideal is GCS15, we lack that last point due to constant state of confusion and lack of orientation to time) But when I can’t seem to clear the exhaustion fog, work gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

It happens to us all. This month, the intern and I ran ragged keeping the vascular ship afloat. My studying time has severely suffered. Next month is looking like it will be more of the same. Living the dream! Living the dream!

Much Love.

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