Yo estoy...

Yo estoy girando.

2012-02-24T16:59:00.003-06:00

My last day at Children's Memorial as part of the Cardio Vascular Surgery team. Walking home I kept blinking in disbelief that it's over already. So hard to believe. There were no surgeries scheduled today. I stayed late as there was a possibility a decannulization would be needed, but in the end it wasn't. The office ordered pizza for me for lunch and we all ate in the conference room. (More like they used me as an excuse to order pizza for the office!!) ;) It was delicious either way!! Ever heard of Lou Malnati's? Very good pizza!!

After rounds this morning the fellow pulled me aside to say "I didn't want to say this to you before, but since it's your last day...." and he told me some nice things, some amazing things. It caught me off guard, kind of knocked the wind out of me and left me a bit speechless. After, I turned looking for someone, anyone to hug and dance with. No one was there. So I hugged myself and danced with Jesus!!

At this point, after all that Jesus has done for me I shouldn't be amazed anymore. But each time I'm amazed anew at what Jesus is doing in my life. Is He really preparing me for this? Is He really going to use me in this? It seems too good to be true. I wonder, what plans does He have in store for these two hands?

Hasta!!

Yo estoy dormitando.

2012-02-23T19:20:00.002-06:00

This week has been a pretty heavy one. The surgeries long. (I've now surpassed that previous 9 hour surgery). The days longer. And then today our OR was closed due to limited anesthesia personnel. And after morning rounds the fellow pulled me aside and whispered that when I got a chance I should "slip out, go home, and recover." *wink* I busied myself a few hours more and then I took his advice...although not the slipping out part.

I hadn't planned on taking a nap. I'm not really a napper. But I figured I wouldn't get much work done with my eyes half closed so I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch. When my eyes opened half hour later, I didn't move, but rather let myself remain curled up. I was warm. I was so comfortable. And so for half hour more I lay there half dozing and half just listening. Listening to the rain and a wet Chicago outside the window. Not even the construction down at the intersection bothered me. It was a gray rainy afternoon and there I lay curled up with no need to hurry anything. I felt like I had been given a small unexpected gift, and it made me so happy.

Hasta!

Yo estoy saltando.

2012-02-18T09:26:00.004-06:00

The surgery I helped with yesterday was the most tedious and meticulous work I'd witnessed yet. We were working with stitches so fine that when you held up the thread, you'd lose sight of it. It was such small slow work that for the first time I got a bit bored...and then annoyed that I was bored. I was bored because I couldn't understand what exactly they were doing. But then the picture became clear, they had finally made progress, and it ceased to be boring. When they finished their work Dr. Russell asked me if I understood what they had done. I replied that yes I did understand but to be honest, I had been rather lost at the begining. Both he and Dr. El Tayeb broke out laughing with that. Apparently they had been just as lost. That both makes me feel better about myself being lost and amazed at their ability. The procedure that they had opened the chest expecting to do was interrupted by the location of a single artery. On the spot they had to adapt and individualize the entire surgery. And to be honest their finished work was beautiful. I am so proud of these surgeons, and so blessed to have this opportunity to learn from them.

One of the attendings on the care unit has the most brillantly orange hair I have ever seen. And when he's thinking he wrinkles up his forhead and peers down his nose through small circular spectacles. He reminded me so strongly of someone, and for days I tried and tried to place those spectacles, and then finally...light bulb!!! "He's Paul's grandfather, very clean!" To be honest I hadn't really liked Paul's grandfather due to his causing problems with Ringo, but now I'll think of Dr. Costello and it'll make me laugh.

When I started helping with CV surgeries at Children's I was the 2nd assitant, and content to be so as a med student. It got me close. It got me dirty. In other words I was those extra hands when the surgeon and 1st assitant needed a 3rd, 4th, or 5th hand. And to tell you the truth, I wasn't expecting anything more, figuring they wouldn't let me get close to the heart or main vessels themselves. But then they did need me. I've worked as 1st assitant various times, and what surprised me most....what scared me most, was that I wasn't scared. There isn't time to second guess or be scared. You have to be sure of your hands.

Hasta!

A heart for Valentine's Day.

2012-02-15T17:07:00.002-06:00

I love Valentine's Day. Not for any particular reason. But I started off to the hospital yesterday morning maybe just a bit disappointed at how ordinary the day felt. Little did I know I wouldn't get back from the hospital until early this morning and the day would be anything but ordinary. A Valentine's Day I will never forget.

Children's Memorial is the only location in the state of Illinois where pediatric heart transplants are performed. Early yesterday before we even got our day started there was a call. There was a heart in New York. By noon I was headed to New York as the second member of the heart team accompanied by the procurement team. Landed at LaGuardia, raced to the hospital, harvested the heart, back to the airport, back to Chicago, back to Children's and heart pumping before midnight. A heart for Valentine's Day.

Hasta!

Yo estoy leyendo.

2012-02-11T15:22:00.002-06:00

I guess I'm finally getting a Chicago winter. My roommates are forcing their down winter coats on me. I was hesitant at first simply because I didn't like the idea of wearing someone else's coat when I have a perfectly good one. But I'm so thankful for it now. I am so thankful to live with indoor heating again.

I scrubbed in for my first 9 hour surgery this week. I knew I was free to take a break whenever I needed to, but I really just didn't want to. I didn't want to miss a single one of the 540 minutes we were there. My feet hurt afterwards. Maggie was attending a worship night that evening, and I originally considered just staying home, but then felt like a hypocrit for considering it. One of my biggest whines about GDL is that there's zero singing and close to zero fellowship so I couldn't pass up the opportunity. So I went and enjoyed it, but the entire time was leaning forward with my hands on the bench in front of me trying to displace as much weight as possible trying to find the least painful way to stand.

I also got to scrub in for my first noncardiac surgeries. Both very interesting as I got to see a whole new side of CardiacThoracic Surgery. One particular one neither surgeon really knew what they were doing. So I got to work through the problem with them as they had to ultimately decide on a solution, which they don't actually know if it really is a "solution." Only time will reveal.

All of these experiences are really helping me and teaching me. I'm here not just to learn pediatric cardiothoracic surgery, but to learn how medicine in the States works. The expectations and roles of the different levels of medical providers. How everyone works together. How they work individually. At times it feels like I'm on a tour, but the tour is on a tour bus and it's going so fast all I can manage to do is catch glimpses of everything.

Hasta!

Yo estoy una corazon.

2012-02-07T17:22:00.002-06:00

This work is absolutely fascinating. Once again I'm finding myself at a loss for words. Everyday is another story. Beautiful, challenging and amazing.

One of the first things I noticed were the hands of the surgeons. There's a tiny heart jumping at say...150 beats a minute, lungs rthymically inflating and deflating. In short the work area is moving a mile a minute, and the hands....rock solid. At one point a perfusionist in the OR hit something making a loud bang like the sound of a balloon popping and the hands....not even a flinch.

On one particular case the tiny baby wasn't even the size of a normal newborn. They were accessing the thoracic cavity through the rib cage and at one point Dr. Russell asks Dr. El Tayeb, "Do you think you can fit your finger in there?" He wasn't joking, he was serious. I paused...did they even realize what they were asking? They were attempting life or death surgery and couldn't even get close to the work area. In the end Dr. El Tayeb didn't have to anyways.

I'm just loving it!

Hasta!

Yo estoy empezando.

2012-01-31T22:38:00.002-06:00

I'm loving living in Chicago. But I knew that before I even got here. Sunday was my first time taking the El back into the city from Carrie and Troy's. Got off on Superior triumphant. Take that "CTA"! Plus in the middle of switching trains someone asked me for advice on switching. Score 1 for the "I-have-no-clue-what-I'm-doing-but-you-can't-tell" game face!!! I'm also getting better at judging intersections while walking around the city. I don't have to stop at a corner and determine if I can cross or not anymore. Instead, now by the time I've reached the corner I've already noted if I can continue or stop. Doesn't sound like something big, but when you're standing at a corner waiting to cross and in the meantime two different individuals have approached and proceeded to cross without waiting, it becomes something big to you!

Today was my actual first day in Children's. Yesterday I just did some training as I wasn't cleared by health services yet. The secretaries informed me that I didn't miss anything. Turns out that both of the attending physicians are at a conference, so nothing has happened yesterday or today. Tomorrow they'll be back, and it'll get busy. Because it wasn't busy today, one of the secretaries convinced me to go outside of the hospital for lunch saying I should take advantage of the opportunity as it probably won't happen again. I would have been content to stay there and eat the raisins I'd brought, but I figured she was right. So I walked around till I found the Greek restaurant she had mentioned. They gave me a free dessert with my meal. Score!!!

Hasta!

Yo estoy en Chicago!

2012-01-26T21:55:00.002-06:00

I've been sitting with my fingers poised to type but couldn't think of any adjective more appropriate than "weird" to describe how it feels to be back in the States again so soon. But couldn't think of one. That's just what it is...weird to have to leave Mexico again so soon after getting back. Just this past week I had enjoyed part of a break at HAL sitting on the grass in the sun. I'd pulled up the pant legs of my scrubs and pulled off my white jacket and was just happy to be reminded that I love Mexico. And then before I know it I'm on a plane heading back again. As the plane descended into Chicago and finally cleared the thick fog revealing the gray wetness of the city the little boy sitting behind me started exclaiming, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" He made me smile and I was just happy to be reminded that I love it here too.

Hasta!

2012-01-25T16:09:00.002-06:00

HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY
TO MY
MOMMY DEAREST!!

I love you and can't wait to tell you Happy Birthday in person!!!

Yo estoy extravagante.

2012-01-23T10:01:00.003-06:00

Sunday mornings in Ixtlan start with children's songs during which the kids will stand up front as we all sing. Two weekends ago one of the little two year olds joined the rest up front squeezing in beside his sister. Two seconds later the piece of hard candy he had in his mouth had fallen to the floor. He turned to his sister and pointed at her mouth. Without hesitation she took the gum out of her mouth and put it into his. This past weekend a similar story transpired between two girls. Girl #1 grabs her friend's hand and uses it to whipe her nose. Girl #2 doesn't squirm just lets her whipe and then uses the back of Girl #1's shirt to clean off her hand. The whole time both girls just kept singing.
- I can't say if it was culture, or age, or just innocence that prompted those exchanges, but what struck me was the unhesitant giving. Do I love that much? Love my brother enough to give the food from my own mouth? Love my friend enough to give my own hand?

In Mexico they hiss. It's kind of hard to actually put a definition to their hiss becuase they are able to send a couple of different messages by hissing, but in general it can be likened to an American boo. Such as booing something you dislike or disapprove of. I was on the receiving end of my first Mexican hissing last week. It was mentioned in clinical cases how Lyme disease is endemic in parts of the United States whereupon my classmates turned and hissed at me. I knew they were joking and actually laughed along with them. Can check another "to do" off my list; receive a Mexican hiss....didn't know that was actually on my list, but I guess it was. :)

Had exams last week (hence the lack of posting). Two of them; Ophtalmology on Thursday and Otorhinolaryngology (ENT) on Friday. Since the start of the semester ENT doctors had been hinting at our need to study, study, study. Plus from previous semesters ENT is known as one the hardest of 8th semester. So being nervous enough about it I was trying to stay up to date as much as possible with my ENT studying. And then it was Wednesday and I realized I hadn't really studied ofta. Whoops! Shoot! Bang! Needless to say I did better on ENT than ofta.

Hasta!

Yo estoy oftalmologa.

2012-01-15T20:53:00.002-06:00

Some people would call slapping your forearms with hard inflated rubber repeatedly for 1 1/2 hours punishment or even perhaps torture. In Ixtlan we call it some really good volleyball. Since we finished playing Saturday my arms have been swollen, tender and if you look close enough spotted with petechia in places from busted cappillaries. They're on the mend and should be good as new by tomorrow. :)

Often times my drive home from the hospital finds me enjoying my music either singing along, maybe dancing, sometimes both. Last week one such drive I happened to be singing, and noticed a guy from my class was driving by. From what I've noticed in my years of driving, drivers aren't tipically paying attention to surrounding drivers, so I was hoping I could bank on that. NO WAY!!!! The next day he came into clinical cases and sat next to me; he had a supressed smile and a gleam in his eye. The gleam that says you know a secret. Made like he was going to say something, but rethought it and instead offered me some of his Bubu Lubu. ay ay ay doh *facepalm*

Mexicans have a plethora of names, and often a doctor needs to be told by which of their names they typically go by.
- One girl is called Ana Eugenia. By when the doctora called her Ana she wrinkled up her nose and said she likes Eugenia. I joined the doctora in surprise. Who would prefer Eugenia over Ana...but I guess she does.
- Another girl is called Alejandra, but goes by the nickname, Alex. Here's the hitch, it's spelled Aletes. Which is very important to her that everyone knows. "Aletes...with tes!"

For one of our consults people have been turned away for not having proper uniform, or for having the wrong kind of shoes, or because their shoes aren't white enough. One of my classmates was telling us she had used alcohol wipes too clean her shoes but was still denied access for dirty shoes. So I just cleaned my shoes with toothpaste. I figure if it can whiten teeth it better have some power over dirty shoes. Priorities a little skewed if you ask me but if they want white shoes, they gottem. Plus, now my feet'll smell minty fresh!

Hasta!

Yo estoy nada.

2012-01-12T21:37:00.002-06:00

I received my score report yesterday. I waited until after Bible study to actually look at it. That way when asked I could deny any news. I was so anxious that by the time we were saying good-bye I had to consciously keep my hands from shaking. My report said pass, and I felt I could breathe again as if I had been holding my breath for the past 4 weeks.

Back in December a friend was trying to cheer me up and said, "don't worry, you're Christy Stoller!" As if my name carries some magical power with it or something. How Stupid is that? So if mom and dad had named me Gertrude I would be living a completely different life? It is reasons like that which annoy me the most. A name is nothing more than a label. It says nothing about who a person is nor what they're capable of.

Some may have thought I lacked faith in the situation for doubting. But the only thing I have faith in is One True God who loves me and holds my future in his hands, and as such He can do with it as He pleases. We have never been garaunteed smooth sailing as we sojourn through this life....the opposite is more what we are to expect. And when I dislike the idea of trouble, embarrassment or failure it never lessens my faith that God knows what he is doing. I promised Him my love and obediance for the rest of my life, and crying over a failed exam would not have changed that promise.

Either way though....it feels good to breathe again!

Hasta!

Yo estoy llenada.

2012-01-10T18:39:00.002-06:00

Still more classmates showed up today....almost a week after starting. Talking to one such classmate I asked him why he got back so late and he said that his birthday was last Friday and he had wanted to spend it with his family. Hadn't heard that one before.

I talked with my people about my conversation with the shrugger yesterday. They reassured me I would be okay. I left with that feeling of "I've got people, and my people trump your people!" That feeling of "my dad can beat up your dad!!!"

I had started a reading a book over break hoping to finish it. Of course I wasn't able to, but now I'm glad for it. Now I still have an excuse to take some time everyday and let tedious actuality dissolve around me. I can escape to the fantastical world of Alagaesia where I don't have to think or worry. There I'm just along for the ride....a sweet dragonback ride. ;)

Hasta!

Yo estoy mareada.

2012-01-09T19:42:00.002-06:00

I really like rollar coasters, but for just once couldn't it just be a smooth ride? I sat down with Vicky in the international office and got my complete schedule for the semester figured out. It's even crazier than last semester. It follows no rhyme or reason, just a jumbled mess. I'll have to brush up on my juggling skills. When I got there Vicky had already done some configuring, which I was very thankful for, because honestly I had spent some time staring at the various possibilities of an 8th semester schedule and had come up with nothing. I was half expecting that I would loose my spring break, but never said it out loud as if by doing so would make it come true. Unfortunately my efforts were pointless and my expectations were right. I'd had my fingers crossed that I'd be able to have a restful spring break since I won't get a break between here and New York. No such luck. sigh.

In the end I was happy to walk out of the office with a schedule that both she and I had in writing no matter how crazy it was.

Unfortunately I ran into the shrugger again. As a number of my classmates had decided to wait to return until today some of the smaller consult groups got rearrainged. I was unhappy at first then realized there was nothing to do about it so decided to make the best of it. The doctor I got reshifted to is the shrugger. After our time I approached him to remind him I'd be leaving. He then started giving me a hard time saying I'd have to finish all of my hours, etc. etc. A miracle must have happened because I was able to refrain from yelling at him something along the lines of....
"...Last Wednesday I stood in your office telling you I would be leaving, and asking for your input. And. You. Shrugged. You gave me no opinion, no requirement, not even a disapproving thought on the subject. So a schedule has now been configured and approved by the international administrators. How dare you to think that you now have the right to say anything..."
....so probably a good thing that I instead just smiled, told him I'd talk to Vicky again, thanked him, and left.

I knew this guy was going to be trouble. :(

Hasta!

Yo estoy mejorando.

2012-01-05T19:07:00.003-06:00

Things are better. I went to HAL earlier and started by going to the department office as I was told yesterday....of course no one was there. So I sat and waited, determined not to go anywhere until at least something got figured out. I also made another visit to the escolar office and talked with the lady who helped me yesterday second guessing her on why she'd given me the list number she had. She assured me I should be fine. Awhile later, after finally getting my schedule half figured out and finally attending a class I ran into that same lady in a hallway. She approached me to say that after I'd left she'd finally realized why I had asked her again about my number; I had been given the wrong number. She looked visibly worried about the mistake and was rapidly mumbling about how she could fix it, but as I already knew the numbers allotted for the internationals to be filled what she was wanting to do would have still put me with the Latins, and honestly I really just did not want to start all over with the mess, so I stopped her and told her it was okay. And it's true. It was easy to smile again by the end of the day. Except for the shrugger, everyone I've talked to today has been helpful and understanding (so thankful for that as I wasn't expecting it). Lord willing, I'll have been able to track down the last doctor, reschedule the last clinic, and pick up the last forms by tomorrow.

I've mentioned it before how first days at UAG are an organized chaos, but hands down this start has been the worst. The chaos part a bit out of control. Makes me laugh now. I pretend that they wanted to start my last semester with a big bang so they threw me a great big chaotic conundrum of a party as only UAG could do so well. Success! Definitely made my head spin!

Hasta!

Drove beside a black car with black windows escorted by the federales on my way to the hospital. Made me wonder who was so special, but not enough to give way to them as I noticed other cars were doing. Maybe not a smart move, but I figured that playing the blonde card would get me out of trouble and in the end they only stayed on the road for about 2 minutes before turning off. Can’t believe I’m thinking it, but perhaps I shouldn’t be so careless like that. Hmmmm. Next time I’ll pick a fight with someone my own size….without the machine gun escort….hehe just kidding ;)

Yo estoy en el borde.

2012-01-04T16:33:00.002-06:00

First day back at HAL. It wasn't good. I should have taken hint by the fact that everyone I tried to contact yesterday about when we were supposed to start today aren't getting back until tomorrow. (Semester starts Wednesday means return on Thursday?? ...sigh and eye roll). So I figured since I had no idea of where I was supposed to be today nor when I was supposed to be there (we normally have just those two bits of information by the day before) no sense in hurrying no where, so I didn't. I woke up this morning wishing I could just stay in my bubble and let the world move on without me. I knew it would be a trying day, but I also knew that at least by the end of it everything would somehow be sorted out. And that thought helped me keep my chin up all day as the hours ticked by. Well, it's finally the end of it, and nothing is sorted out. I feel as if frustration is seething hot below the surface. And that, makes me even more frustrated, and just...sad.

1) I spent the time last semester to make sure I had all my paperwork done and was good to go for this semester only to not see my name on the list today. So not having a list number I couldn't really do anything, so I actually came home for a bit. Took a breather and pulled out my signed receipt. Figured I'd bring proof that I'd handed everything in already.
2) So that worked. I got asigned a list number. Yay! Yay? or no... for some reason I was given a Latin program number. I realized that but thought it would work as that's what I had last semester. But then I took a look at the schedules, and no, it's not going to work. Problem #1
3) In addition, as I'm in Chicago for a few months I don't actually finish this rotation making my availability for consults later in the rotation kind of impossible. Problem #2

I talked with the director of one subject. He glanced at me, looked at the other doctor in the room with us then shrugged, and went back to looking at his computer screen.
I can see it now...A day before June 3rd Dr. Mario Ruiz denying my right to graduate because I'm missing busy work or missing such-and-such points because I didn't attend such-and-such consult. And when that happens it will take a miracle to keep me sane, to keep me from yelling/emphatically reminding him that I was standing in his office January 4th explaining that potential problem to him and. he. shrugged.

Tomorrow will be a better day right? I'll get everything sorted in the morning in time to be able to attend at least half of my activities for tomorrow. And then I'll be able to actually start studying/working hard at getting as much done as possible by the time I'm to leave (a.k.a. trying to avoid any future problems). You've got to always be thinking ahead at UAG. Cover all your bases well. Count on them throwing you a curve ball and make sure you're prepared to either catch it or dodge when they do. Basically play their game, but play it better than them. Even when the game's not fun.

Hasta

Yo estoy a casa.

2011-12-13T14:10:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was one of those days that just doesn't go as planned, but Praise the Lord it still found me asleep in Gridley, IL at the end of it.

1) Flight took off and I didn't even mind as we left WARM GDL behind knowing I was headed for Illinois. But about 30 minutes into the flight I noticed that the sun had switched sides of the planes. hmmmmm... Sure enough, some minutes later the Pilot came on the intercom to let us know that we had turned around and were headed back to GDL. One of the computer screens was saying there was a malfunction. They didn't know what the malfunction was, but since we were closest to GDL we were headed back for maintenance. I had kind of stopped caring after hearing "regresamos a Guadalajara." (returning to Guadalajara). Noooooooooo. Back in GDL we unloaded the malfunctioning plane and directly loaded a different plane. Got to Chicago just about 2 hours late. Unfortunately,
arrival boards in Chicago hadn't been updated with the delay. Not cool. Not cool. Especially for my parents. :(

2) Finally reunited with Mom and Dad! Yay!! I took some great big deep breaths to finally be home. And just to celebrate we three went on an adventure!!! Taking the long way home! The never-before-seen-long way home!! :) Yay for accidental
spontaneity!! :)

Hasta!

Yo estoy dando prisa.

2011-12-11T18:52:00.003-06:00

I'm all itchy, antsy and impatient to get to Illinois.
I've been listening to Christmas music as my background soundtrack while studying these past couple of weeks and thought I'd share a bit with you before I leave tomorrow.

I like the song "Indiana Christmas" by Straight No Chaser because it's about going home for Christmas but really wish it was Illinois instead. So I took the liberty and did a little switch-a-roo..

The moonlight shines on a sycamore
And now they are calling to me
In the city its snowing
The sidewalks blowing

But there's somewhere I'd rather be
Thousands of people all walking by
But Somehow I'm still alone
I'm gonna spend winter my way
Again on the highway
I'm ready to find a way home

Illinois, thats where I'm going
This time of year you know how I feel
Illinois, thats where I'm going
Where Christmas will always be real

We'll build up the fire tell a story or two
With good friends we always invite
The old and the young come together as one
and we sing into the night

Illinois, thats where I'm going
This time of year you know how I feel
Illinois, thats where I'm going
Where Christmas will always be real

And I remember those who are gone
looking down on my home from above
Deep in December its where I belong
Sharing the days with the ones who I love

I've kind of become a bit of a YouTube addict over the past couple of years so of course I've afew videos for ya too. I don't have this song among my Christmas music collection so sometimes I've gone to YouTube specifically to listen to this song.

"Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men"

or sometimes I go to YouTube to distract myself and instead find stuff like this.

Hasta!!

P.S. I just wanted to center all of the song lyrics, but it centered everything instead and I couldn't figure out how to do it differently so....I just left it :)

Yo estoy en los ultimos dias.

2011-12-07T07:28:00.004-06:00

Thought I'd get a quick blog post in before I started for the day. Sorry if it's rushed, got a long ways to go before I can crawl under my covers again tonight.

To be honest, I was a little apprehensive last Friday when the French girls arrived back in GDL. I'd fallen into a study schedule, which I knew definitely wouldn't work with guests. But thanks to the grace of God I was able to be flexible and quickly adapt to a new schedule for those last days of their time in Mexico. It actually proved to be a benefit to me because having them stay here assured that I actually got out of the house at least once a day.

On their last morning we went out for breakfast and then I took a little time to show them a few last things in GDL. Took them to my favorite pastry shop and we had a comparison taste testing. Had the Mexican croissant tested against French taste buds. Mexican croissant versus French croissant. They throughly enjoyed it!!!!! I liked how Marlene summed up her opinion..."I'm French so I can't say that it's better than a French croissant, but...I give you permission to eat this." :)

We also stopped at the Galerias mall. In the years past they've had a ginormous Christmas Tree there. To our disappointment instead of a huge tree this year they had evil looking elves and sad looking jack-n-the-boxes.

I liked the huge jingle bells they had hanging though. If you can't see us, we're right.....

...there!!!

It was a little hard for me to listen to all of their stories from their week exploring the Yucatan. I could have gone with them. I could have dropped my studying and gone off exploring, seeing new sights and meeting new and interesting people. Sigh. It is so hard to sit and not be able to travel. I'll never see the world studying my life away. When Satan pokes at me with those envious and unfair feelings I just need to ask myself one question.
Q: Is this worth it? Even if I never never ever get to travel again, is He worth it?
A: Yes. Yes, it's worth it.

Hasta!

Yo estoy francesa.

2011-12-05T11:52:00.003-06:00

L to R: Me, Morgane, Marlene

Hi I'm Morgane!
We are having such a good time here in Mexico! Christy makes us visit Guadalajara, and my favorite part is the restaurants... mexican food is sooo good (and a french "gourmet" is talking to you)! Unfortunately we only have 2 hours left in Mexico...
Muchas gracias Christy for this mexican experience!
Hope you can come visit us in France one day!
Bisous

Hi I'm Marlene. I am writing for the second time because I have just deleted everything! So let's write everything again!
So Christy and I met in Boston for the 4th of July thanks to Pablo that was my roomate in Boston and studying in the same university of Christy in Mexico. Then by a beautifull night sleeping in my garden in Boston with Morgane, we have decided to go to visit Christy in Mexico... and we did it!!!! So after spending all our money in the flight tickets and made the 22h trip we finally arrived to GDL. We spent almost one week in GDL with Christy. We had so much fun ! I had, thanks to her, my first Thanksgiving! She made me running in the morning! Sound normal to you but not to me! She introduced us to her friends that are really lovely too. I felt really welcomed(she kept a piece of the chocolate cake during the week I was in Merida!), and she made our trip really unforgettable.
I hope that she will come to France (skiing/climbing in the Alps) that I can welcome her as well as she has welcomed us. And I'm looking foward to go to visit her again!!! Hopefully in August in NY!
Merci beaucoup, a tres bientot.
bisous
Marlene

Yo estoy una ermitaña.

2011-12-01T15:29:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I was so thankful that November only has 30 days in it. The last 4 had passed so slowly. I thought December would never come. That was yesterday. I woke up this morning and cannot believe it's December already. I was wrong....I take yesterday back....can November have 31 days this year, or even more. Ahh! I feel like a little kid who decided mid-slide that going down was a really bad idea and is now trying frantically to break/stop before he shoots off the end.

Up until last week it was still nice and warm in the house. I had my fingers crossed that it would last a few more weeks. Sunday it decided cool down. I'm not frozen yet, so I'm thankful for that. But then again since Sunday my hands have dried out and have their first few cracks so perhaps it's colder than I realize. I studied downstairs on the couches this morning to study. The sun comes in through the many windows. I'm thankful for the nice warm sun. Comparing myself to the last time I hermitized myself this is about the opposite. Last time by mid-afternoon I'd be sitting reading over my book and trying not to move or I'd start sweating. Can't really say which I prefer...

Hasta!

Yo estoy decepcionada.

2011-11-25T15:13:00.008-06:00

The other day in endocrine consult I saw a patient, thin, low BMI in fact, who had worked her whole life to maintain a healthy diet and exercise daily. And looking at her you'd never guess she was a mother of 4, you'd have to say she was successful. We had to tell her tests were showing results that would classify her as "pre-diabetic." She tried so hard to remain positive that even when tears started rolling down her cheeks her bright red lipstick was still turned up in a big unbelieving smile. She commented 'estoy decepcionada' (I'm disappointed). Watching her struggle is so frustrating because it's one of those times when life is so obviously not fair. I'm sure we've all been able to relate to her feelings of disappointment, frustration and deception. I myself am feeling it rather acutely at the moment. That frustration when you get thrown a cold fry for hard work and those that sometimes worked....when they felt like it...Big Mac on a silver platter. You can put it in perspective and tell the lady that perhaps she's now pre-diabetic, but if she hadn't worked so hard for so long not only would she probably be full-blown diabetic on insulin at this point but even worse may not have even gotten to meet her fourth child or worse she'd already be dead. But even perspective is hard to believe when disappointment has had the last say.

Here's some pictures from Thanksgiving:
Marlene, Morgane and I went for a jog/walk through Colomos to start the day.

Afterwards we stopped to enjoy the Japanese Gardens for a reflective moment.

They were excited about their first Thanksgiving: L to R: Me, Marlene, Morgane

Food table #1:

Food table #2: Jenn and her Turkey.

Drinks and desserts had their own separate tables. We had a lot of people, but were blessed with a lot of food. Plenty of leftovers for everyone to take some. We put some away. And still some left that the cleaning ladies are packing it all up into to go boxes to take with them. With the amount of food that Americans prepare and consume on this one day of the year, we could probably feed all 7 billion for that day. Could we try that? Could we feed the world instead of ourselves for a day?

....talk about one of life's unfairities. I was born into my family so I get to eat. You weren't so you don't. :( :(

Hasta!

Yo estoy bendecida.

2011-11-24T10:20:00.001-06:00

That's Turkey for HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

:)

2011-11-22T14:56:00.002-06:00

HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!

LOVE YOU BOTH MUY MUCHO,

FOREVER Y SIEMPRE! ;)

From me!

Yo estoy enterrada.

2011-11-21T10:13:00.003-06:00

Marlene and Morgane arrived Saturday and have been enjoying Mexico. Picking them up at the airport on Saturday it didn't matter that I had reminded myself many many times that the French do a double greeting I completely forgot and the result was some sort of French/American mix with a Mexican twist. Awkward, but to be expected. A nice thing about Marlene and Morgane is that I know they have experience surviving in a foreign country. I wave goodbye to them in the morning as they go off to explore and enjoy Mexico and I return to my room not worried about them finding their way back in the evening. Well...not too worried. But like I said before they both have survival skills and they both know a basic Spanish. Just a bit jealous of the adventures they are going to be having these next two weeks.

Some of the battle to take the step is proving to be mental for me. In my efforts to be prepared for anything I've somehow now convinced myself that I am going to fail the step. A feeling of doom accompanied by a sense of purposelessness with making any effort to study. Why study for something I'm going to fail anyways? If God has taught me anything these past 3 1/2 years it's been that my life is not my own. God's plans and schedule for my life do not take into account any personal plans that I have made. And where I am today has not been of my own doing. I think in a round about way I'm asking for prayer. I'm scared to fail. But even moreso I think I'm scared that failing will be my fault. That I tried to take my schedule into my own hands and went forward with it leaving God out of the equation. I need help to remember that a test is not going to change the fact that God deserves praise every new morning the same as every evening. That He still loves me with all my mistakes, and that not only my future but my very next step is still safe in His hands.

Hasta!

Psalm 113:3 "From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised."

Yo estoy destructor.

2011-11-18T17:17:00.004-06:00

I'm super glad this week is over. Thanks be to my Best Friend for helping me through. Studying even when it ceases to be fun. It was a bit much. Juggling three finals this week while still running around HAL getting presentation done here, seeing patients there. Today's final proves that the week is just about caught up to me. Going over the test afterwards this happened more times than I'd like to admit...The answer is B, and I know the answer is B....and I put A why? Some of my classmates had all 6 finals this week (at least they weren't juggling anything else, and now they're done!!), but still I don't envy them what they must have struggled with this week. Needless to say there's going to be some major partying going on tonight on their part. I think I'll get back to some step studying. The countdown on my wall beside my desk is getting dangerously low.

My name got rearrianged again. It was for the Neurology final. The doctora called me Destroyer. The only way I knew to respond was cause she finally tacked a Christy on it. #1 Say Stoller with a Spanish accent #2 add the r between the t and o that English speakers even sometimes add #3 I have nooooo idea why she decided to put the d on the front....I have come up with one explanation. She said it as a filler while trying to figure out how to pronouce Stoller. d...d...d, Estroyer? The name got lots of cheers and laughs. I probably got really red. And a few have tried out the name themselves since then, but you'd see a look on their face immediately afterwards. A look that tells me I don't have to worry about "destroyer" sticking as a nickname.

My Wednesday final (the Neuro one) started early, and you don't really want to be rushing before an exam so I left home early. I turned onto Americas pointing my car in the general direction of the hospital to realize that I was going nowhere fast. It was standstill traffic. A lot of thumb-twiddling and slow deep breaths later I got to the site of the accident. The three lanes of Americas were squeezed down to 1/2 a lane through which everyone, yes even the Mexican buses, were squeezing past. So the whole trying not to rush and to get there on time didn't really go as planned, but good thing it's Mexico and the exam didn't start on time anyways.

While I was in Boston this past summer I met a group of people (spent the 4th of July with them) who were internationals (France and Germany mainly). Two of the French girls are coming to visit. They arrive in GDL tomorrow, will spend a few days here then go off and see the rest of Mexico ending back here in GDL two weeks later when they'll fly back to France. I prewarned them I'll have to be studying, but who but God knows how this weekend will play out. And I'm not sure just how they'll take to me getting up early to study. I may have to take to the couch for a few days. Just got to be flexible right! Go with the flow!

Hasta!

Yo estoy estudiosa.

2011-11-09T11:52:00.002-06:00

My classmates have a nutrition exam today which overlaps my endocrine consult time so I get to be home early today. Got my first of a string of exams tomorrow so this is a good thing. I ate my lunch when I got home. It was 10:30 so was just starting to get hungry and could have waited, but I figured that if I ate my lunch then, I could call it my Mexican breakfast, and now I can have a Mexican lunch later!

My clinical cases doctora for endocrine is starting to make a habit of using me as her personal pronounciator. Things like Hürthle or Waterhouse-Friderichsen. Things difficult to pronounce in Spanish. I don't mind it, but... calling me out in front of everyone, I inevitably get red. My cheeks burn and all I can do is breathe and stare at the floor until I feel that it's sufficiently passed. A classmate once expressed a jealousy she had for my cheeks. For having a natural coloring and never needing blush. I told her she had no idea what it was she was wishing for.

For sometime now this semester I've been wanting a pair of white jeans. Just to change it up a little bit. But with just a few months left of actually needing them, it doesn't really justify such a purchase. And then I found a pair of white jeans that I've had the whole time. Probably bought by Mom for $2 from Spare & Share before I ever packed my suitcase for the first time. I tried them on and realized why they were on the bottom of the hanger and never worn. They don't exactly fit nor are they my preferred cut/style. I've been wearing them anyways these past 2 weeks. I never really picked up the typical sense of fashion girls tend to grasp in jr. high, and then in high school I was too distracted to do so. And graduating high school without fashion sense it's really too late to ever pick some up, and so you have people like me, wearing odd looking pants that don't fit. But with no sense of fashion anyways, I can't really bring myself to feel guilty about such a wardrobe.

That yipping puppy that ran out the door last week is back and licking it's poor stepped on paw. In other words, I've had to succumb to my priorities and suspend exercise for the next couple of weeks. Actually passing exams trumps bodily exercise for the time being. I solidified this decision by walking down the street and getting a bag of bolis. (A frozen ice cream treat). :/

Hasta!

Yo estoy enemigo de las ratas.

2011-11-04T18:46:00.002-06:00

A great big rat decided to join us for Bible study Wednesday night. I never thought of myself as scared of rats, but that was before. All I'd ever seen were cute little mice. This was a grandote of a rat with a tail a mile long. Bible study momentarily suspended and armed with broom, mop, and tennis racket a few of us had it cornered where it proceded to hide in a bag. Mop attempted to move the bag and rat shot out of that bag headed straight for our feet. Oh boy I screamed! Didn't help that everyone was screaming. Out of the broom, mop and tennis racket, the racket was the only one that actually made an attempt at hitting the rodent. But then following the rat into the kitchen we closed all the doors to keep it there and broom and mop continued the pursuit while racket stayed outside the doors looking in through the windows. A quick trip to the store for sticky traps was made, I loaded on the peanut butter, and we finally returned to the Bible study. (Rat was killed the following day.)

A bit of time is devoted daily to studying nutrition. Today reading about introducing babies to real food I had to chuckle. The subheading was "Introduction of the Family Diet" and the first food mentioned was beans. I must be in Mexico!! :)
A few days ago I had planned on going for a run, and then was starting to feel lazy wanting to stay and study instead, but then I realized which subject of Nutrition I was studying that day: Obesity. and I was out the door faster than a yipping puppy who'd just gotten stepped on.

I debated about putting an update about the death of the Latin student last Sunday night and finally have decided to say something because I was wrong in my initial thought that it was an accident. Unfortunately it was a suicide by hanging. A tragedy that Satan can pull people so low they completely lose hope. This world needs hope.
- They told the Latin program that she died from a brain aneurysm, which is why I debated about saying something. I suppose they are trying to cover it.

In Hope

Yo estoy soñando.

2011-10-31T16:23:00.002-06:00

We ended Daylight Savings Time in Mexico this past weekend. I thoroughly loved the extra hour of sleep although I didn't exactly sleep through the whole night. I found myself in a dream that seemed to drag on forever and get no where. I was being chased by a bad guy (or at least I assume he was a bad guy) through a skyscraper that was being built. So it was empty floor after empty floor. Lots of stairs and lots of scrambling up, over, under, and around. I had finally lost him and made it outside and across the street. Met up with the other people that were also being chased, but instead of rushing into the building across the street to hide we stopped and looked back. Stupid! because the bad guy saw us. We turned to continue our escape but split up, them running in on the ground floor and I taking some stairs up. But I was tired of what seemed like hours of trying to run away and I suddenly realized that the building I was heading into was more of what I had just exited, so....I decided to wake up instead.
So, as you can see I didn't sleep the night through, but upon waking after my dream I laughed at myself turning over to go back to sleep. As if by going back to sleep I was somehow getting the better of myself. Telling this story just now I am realizing for the first time that I had laughed at myself as if myself was someone else. Oh dear, I need to refresh my memory of what age dissociative disorders typically appear. We've always joked that we're crazy to be here in GDL, but split-personality crazy?

Closing ceremony for the Panamerican Games 2011 Guadalajara was yesterday. I didn't go to a single game as I had hoped, but am too preoccuppied currently to actually lament that fact. They were over really fast, but I'm glad. Now I can drive in the "exclusive" lane for the panamericans and not worry that I'm doing something bad....not that I really worried about it before either. :)

There was a tragedy today. I don't know details but my 7th semester Latin companions lost a classmate today. My guess is that it was a car accident based on the timing. Something like that just sobers everyone up. Some were crying, no one was laughing.

Hasta!

Yo estoy intentando abrir mis ojos.

2011-10-25T14:08:00.002-05:00

Even after making the extra visit to the Endocrinology office last Friday I still had to go back today. I'm always amazed anew with how such disorganization is functionable.

The schedule I was content to set for myself this rotation, I'm already begining to realize it's going to have to be reworked. The rotation itself is a tad lighter on the workload, but at the same time right in the middle of the rotation I have a week of exams covering all the subjects that I rotated on outside of HAL...going all the way back to July when I did Nutrition in Boston. Sooooooo, not really much lighter at all. These exams are in the middle of my rotation because that is when all my classmates who spent the semester doing co-op in Puerto Rico are going to be here, so we all take these exams together, or at least the ones we need to take. I'll just need to take 3 out of the 6.

I was happy to see that I rotate with a few friends I made last rotation. It's a funny and friendly clique of girls that refer to themselves as "Monicas". I joined their group to review clinical cases and when groups were asked to name themselves endocrine-accordingly it took us all of two seconds to call ourselves Las Pituitarias (The Pituitaries). No reason really except that it's a bit funny to say.

It's been awhile now since I've realized that the horrible bags marking lack of sleep have returned under my eyes. A fact which I just forced myself to forget about as there's nothing really I can do about it. But lately I roll out of bed (or off the bed if I didn't quite make it into the bed the night before) in the morning and feel as if my eyes are swollen shut, and a quick physical exam in the mirror tells me that I'm not just imagining it. They get better with a few rubs, a few blinks, and a bit of coffee. But it just makes me wonder....swollen eyes in the morning isn't exactly a typical physiological manifestation. I'll give it some more time, see if it stops happening on it's own, or if I should exchange wondering for worrying.

Hasta!

Yo estoy malhumorada.

2011-10-21T17:28:00.011-05:00

It was going to be a beautiful day. Friday. Last test over. Going to Ixtlan tomorrow. What could go wrong?

Tuesday I had gone to the 'escolar' to get put on the list for my next rotation in Endocrinology. After the test today I went to the Endocrine department office to make sure everything was in order due to a hunch (from much experience)that things would not be in order. A hunch which of course proved to be true. Thankfully the secretary and one of the endocrine doctoras spent a few minutes and actually gave me a complete schedule for my rotation. Very thankful for them doing that for me, but why I'm so malhumorada right now is because to my chagrin I watched as they randomly stuck me in groups to rotate with instead of sticking me on the end like the last rotation had done. I just spent the last 5 weeks trying to get to know one group of classmates which in 5 weeks I've just barely achieved. And now, I've got to start allllllll over again. Noooooooooooooo!!! Just when I'm about to reach a level of comfortability, God rips it away. Nope! Got to keep this one on her toes, he says!
Really?! But why?! My toes are really starting to hurt!!!
Either way, when all's said and done, I am very sad to not be able to rotate with those I've been getting to know over the past 5 weeks, but at the same time I wonder what new characters Monday will bring.

And finally here's a few pics from last weekend/Monday.
I know it's cliche but I went to the mall on my birthday. Going to the mall to hang out! I never even did that back in the States! I went with Vero, her cousin Jesus (Chuyito), and his girlfriend Iliana.
Pool! The winning team.....maybe! A few rules may have been momentarily repealed throughout the game.

Basketball! I had high score of the entire night. WooHoo!

Air Hockey!

Then back to the house for DUTCH BLITZ!! L to R around the table: Me, Jennifer, Diego, Hector, Vero, Adriana

After Blitz. Everyone liked the cookies I made Carrie! They turned out nice and soft! L to R: Ninos, Jennifer, Veronica, Me, Josue, Hector

Monday night, a small group of friends took me to dinner. L to R: Veronica, Jennifer, Hector, Iveth, Me, Josue, Jason (Lety and Matt had already gone home when we took the picture.)

And then they had gotten me an ice cream cake from DQ! So exciting! But we cut into it to discover that the entire layer of crunchy chocolate with fudge had been left out! It was still delicious, but just not the same!

Hasta!

So I guess I'm not so malhumorada anymore.

Yo estoy desahogandome!!!

2011-10-20T14:43:00.002-05:00

I'm in the middle of a string of exam days so should be hard at the studying, but I just got done with a Pepsi kick a little bit ago so am under the impression that I have extra energy and therefore time to do a quick blog post.

With exams on the brain I just wanted to vent my frustration about UAG testing. I have a perfect example to help explain. To date the best I've been able to explain is that I can study for UAG exams but then I would fail the USMLE. Or, I can study for the USMLE but then I would fall my UAG exams. If that doesn't make sense to you, then you understood perfectly. It doesn't make sense at all. A medical school education should in fact be preparing a student for their future liscencing exams, and not hindering progress towards that goal. The other day we were in a lecture about Typhoid Fever. The doctora flat out told us that the Salmonella level to inoculate is 10^3, but if you get a question about that on the exam you'll need to answer 10^5. GAAAHHHHHH!!! See what I mean?!?! You can't just study and pass these exams; you have to study specifically for the UAG exam and then with what time is left over switch gears and study completely differently for the USMLE.

I'm still struggling along with my Spanish. One friend from my class in particular speaks so fast I frequently get lost. He probably does it on purpose cause he thinks it's funny. He'll laugh at me and tell me, "You don't speak Spanish." But even though my Spanish isn't getting better, I think I'm calming down a little bit....a LITTLE bit, about it. I went back to completely presenting my articles in Spanish, titles and all! :)

Alllllllrighty! gotsta study!

Hasta!

Yo estoy creciendo con los pepinos.

2011-10-18T17:43:00.003-05:00

My Birthday Weekend is over. Back to reality. Back to studying. But, wait a second...what's that? New boots?!?! New snow boots?!?! I debated about it and finally decided to buy myself a birthday present this year. Those boots went on a long journey to get to me, but actually arrived on the 16th. I'm kiiiiind of excited about them. Excited enough to do a photo shoot for the blog!!!! WooHoo! Now I've just got to find some snow!! ;)

I bought a cucumber!!
When I moved here I didn't like cucumbers. I don't know when it changed, but I like them now. I mentioned that to Jan, and she said it's probably because cucumbers are better in Mexico. She wasn't joking....you really can find superior fresh fruits and vegetables in Mexico. So I finally bought my first cucumber forever solidifying a connection in my brain between cucumbers and Mexico.

Hasta!

P.S. I'll do a more thorough post with pictures from this past weekend when I have more time next weekend.....hopefully.

Yo estoy esperando.

2011-10-14T17:08:00.004-05:00

The sun came out again today after 2-3 days of hiding behind Hurricane Jova. The constant rain definitely cooled GDL down. Not only did I finally get to sleep under a cover but by Wednesday night I already needed a blanket in addition to the sheet! We'll see what happens now with the sun warming it up and drying everything off....almost as if it's welcoming the thousands of visitors arriving for the Panamerican games. My roommate, Josue, somehow had the right connections and got a free ticket for the opening ceremony tonight. I.Am.Jealous. but not so much that I can't be really excited for him.

Wednesday we had off. So I stayed in my room all day studying. We were in the middle of Jova then so it rained all day. Included in my soundtrack for the day was Placido Domingo. There is a partial memory that I have and it's the oddest partial memory because try as I might I can't complete it. Placido Domingo reminds me of Fall and the old red carpet in our house. I know my family is there, but can't see them. Listening to him sing I try to see who exactly is in that memory with me and what the significance of it is, but always end up with the same result. Fall....I think primarily because of the lighting and temperature of the memory, and the red carpet...it's the only obvious thing in the memory that I can actually see. I've tried imagining different scenarios that took place in that memory, but nothing fits. What I decided on Wednesday while listening (without any success in creating a picture) was that I can't complete the picture of this memory because it's not a visual memory. It's more a feeling. A warm feeling. Almost as if I had understood for the first the blessing of being a part of a family, having a home, and knowing there's love in that home. Now, I don't know why Placido Domingo singing Perhaps love brings this memory to mind.....but it does, red carpet and all. That's okay with me, he can keep singing.

Hasta!

Yo estoy cansada.

2011-10-10T22:46:00.005-05:00

Back in Guadalajara. Sad I can't help the whole week in Michoacan. Thankful to be able to help a least a few of the days.
Here's the team: L to R: Don Katanic, Dr. Lee Klopfenstein, Jamie (?), Rita Knobloc, Me, Ada & Don Plattner

Hasta!

Yo estoy en control.

2011-10-06T21:52:00.003-05:00

The medical/dental team is in Michoacan this October. (I joined them last October when they were in Guanajuato too.) So I packed up after the hospital today and headed over. I'll be staying in Ixtlan and helping with the team through Monday.

It's been three weeks now with the Latin Program. Today was a good day in a sense that I could see some progress made in my horribly meager efforts to integrate. And I call them horribly meager because I hardly actually talk with any of them. I realize this is a problem, and repeatedly make up my mind to do better in the area. I'll see an opportunity to start a conversation, and then stop in my tracks realizing I have no idea what to talk about with them. We have little to nothing in common. Plus, God left the "Miss Bubbly Socialite" gene out of my genome when he made me so I have a hard time talking about nothing. But like I said, today I saw an encouraging glimmer of progress. I was in the middle of a presentation, and blanked on a word. Those in the audience were eager to help me out to which I was then able to "eso" in a joking way which had everyone smiling/laughing. These students really are very nice individuals, and being honest I don't feel an ounce of judgement from any of them towards me. I do hope that the next 7 weeks will continue to increase these relationships.
Side note: I'll be honest with you guys. I didn't actually blank on that word. I knew what I wanted to say, but I also knew that if I attempted to say it my accent would have rendered it ground beef...a.k.a. butchered! So I just pretended to blank.

A lot of article reading is required for various reasons at HAL. One of my clinical cases doctors has us present one of the articles we used researching each case. These doctors recommend English articles which isn't always adhered to, but I have no problem abliging the request. I know that all of these Latin students have at least a basic understanding in English; a fact which I took advantage of when I last presented a article. I knew it was fine to say the study title in English, but asked a friend if I should translate it anyways, he affirmed that it wasn't necessary. Trouble was my article had a long title filled with 'big' words. I said that title in clear loud English, but I said it as fast as I possibly could, and I did it on purpose. I knew that even though they can understand a basic English, with a fast and wordy English they would still most likely end up lost. From their side-ways glances I'd assumed correctly. In a way, it felt good. Letting out my frustration built up from daily face-plants into a language barrier. A counselor explained it to me once that for a person that spends so much energy living up to outside standards they search for something that they alone can control and they hold onto that, sometimes to the extreme, as an outlet or as a way of reassuring themselves that they still actually have some control. That's what this felt like. In a world where I feel so lost so often I found a moment where I wasn't lost and I grabbed it. I basically shouted "I SPEAK ENGLISH!"

I had more stories to tell, but I'm actually going to bed. Last night was the first night in almost a week I'd gotten more than 3 hours sleep. It was by accident. sooooo, I'm tired.

Hasta!

Yo estoy estresada.

2011-10-02T19:12:00.003-05:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

If you looked up stress in the dictionary you'd find me as the definition. At the rate my adrenals are pumping out catecholamines I'm going to lose weight just sitting here in front of my computer. whimper whimper

Church wasn't turned on today for some reason (neither service), so I ended up reading in Acts instead. I felt foolish feeling so stressed being reminded of the situations Paul so often found himself in the midst of.
But....my heart rate is still elevated, it's still hard to concentrate, half of the time I'm worrying and the other half I'm trying not to worry, my nails are almost all gone...4 left. In other words my sympathetic nervous system is in command of my body....and I can't stop it!!

I ask God Why? Why can't it be easier...simpler? And I get the same answer that I'm sure Paul received.

TRUST ME

Hasta!

Yo estoy viva!

2011-09-29T16:49:00.000-05:00

I'm still alive.......for now.

Yo estoy latina.

2011-09-19T21:38:00.005-05:00

New Monday. New rotation. New location....well it's an old one, but new for this semester. I'm back at HAL for a rotation in Infectology, Forensic Medicine, and the dreaded Applied Clinic which has never succeeded in being anything more than a waste of time. And I'm in for an extra special treat because I've got the same doctora for Applied Clinic that I had back in 5th semester who did not like me, not the biscuit-burner one...the other one. Oh Joy!!! I guess being a part of the latin program wasn't going to be challenging enough; God decided to throw in a few more curveballs.

Today wasn't particularly fun. I made the effort last week to make sure I was enrolled in the latin program for the rotation. Got my list number and everything, #157. Of course, 157 was nowhere to be found on any of the lists this morning. So I had to hunt down doctors and get put in sessions, and then of course I have to explain why 157 is together with #61-66, but not on the list. Annoying, but I just kept reminding myself that T.I.M. (This. Is. Mexico.) and by the end of the day, I'd have a full schedule. And I do.

I realized when I got home today, that I must have done an overly good job of keeping to myself...I couldn't really recall the faces of any of the 156 latin students that are currently my classmates, save a few. I knew a grand total of 1 person from the latin program. He introduced me to one of his friends. 2. and then in infectology there is another international girl who'll be with us. 3. Day 1 = 3 friends. Maybe I can double that for Day 2, but my fingers aren't crossed.

The group that I mentioned earlier, where I'm with #61-66, we didn't have patients today, so the doctor made conversation. Unfortunately, he spent a good portion of that conversation discussing medical training in the United States and the USMLE, indirectly talking about me. I know that he ment his comments to be taken as compliments, but I really wish he had just skipped the conversation. I am aware that even though it is unintentional on my part and a wrong assumption on the part of others, my tendency towards serious affect is often interpreted as stuck-up. It's hard to explain, but the way this doctor phrased his comments would only further fuel this misinterpretation. Not cool!

Hasta!

Yo estoy calinosa.

2011-09-18T19:08:00.002-05:00

I can empathize with yahtzee dice now. I feel as if I've been picked up, shaken, and then spit back out. Whew! My weekend back home was a whirlwind and then all of a sudden I found myself rolling to a stop back where I started from.

Got two days of chilly fall weather. Honestly I was freezing half the time, but it was delicious to be able to snuggle under covers to sleep at night once again. Within 5 minutes of being back in GDL I was sweating, picking up right where I left off on Thursday; all nice and warm once again!

This year would have been four years without getting to experience Fall. Very sad when it's your favorite season. I think it's safe to say that with the help of my family, we collectively summarized Fall into two days. Walks outside in perfect hoodie-and-jeans weather, pumpkins, harvest (just beginning, but it still counts), roasting marshmellows over a campfire, celebrating my birthday with my family, football... And then add to that mom's cookin', piano playin', trivial pursuitin'; stir it all together with lots of laughin' and you've got a Fall weekend well spent! :)

Hasta!

Yo estoy lista!! Papu en 12 horas y contando!!

2011-09-15T09:35:00.002-05:00

Three and a half years and I'm finally making my first weekend trip home! My classmates have made such trips since first semester. I never could justify the plane ticket. But working on an application for my 5th year in New York I ran into a conundrum. I needed documents that I didn't have with me. I'm sure they're at home somewhere, but....I'm just not exactly sure where. This weekend is Mexico's Independence Day weekend (Friday, 16th). So after considering everything, I'm taking advantage of the extended weekend for a much needed break....and to find those documents. ;)

Praise God for spontaneous blessings!!

Hasta!

Yo estoy orando.

2011-09-14T08:34:00.007-05:00

After losing my camera at the beginning of the month, I found it again....on my desk...under a couple of the randomly flung papers that helped make up the cluttered mess that was my desk at the time. (hmm, sheepish grin)
Plus I got a few pictures from Jennifer that had been taken on her camera.

Jennifer and I happy after getting home from the race.

Our roommate Iveth (Ivy) was photographer and thought we needed close-up proof that we had just run.

We had a birthday in our house. We had a dinner for Celina with a bunch of our friends. So we finally got a roommate picture. This is all 5 of us. L to R: Me, Jennifer, Celina (birthday girl), Ivy, Josue

Then on the actual day of her birthday we celebrated again...on a much smaller level. Just us roomates (minus Josue), and Celina's husband. And a close friend that couldn't make the first dinner. L to R: Celina, Jennifer, Ivy, Me

Last week Sis. Claudia Gonzalez from Ixtlan was in GDL for an international nursing conference. She stayed with me while attending. Then on Saturday, the last day of the conference, I went with her. We only stayed for the first couple of sessiones and then skipped out and headed back to Ixtlan.

Hasta!

Yo estoy segura.

2011-09-11T18:51:00.002-05:00

This past weekend in Ixtlan was a faith-building lesson. I got to witness mighty men in action. Not the mighty as defined by power, fear, guns or even money. But mighty as defined by complete and absolute surrender without hesitation.

With threat of death knocking at the door, not a single one of our brothers or sisters in Ixtlan were afraid. Precaution was taken, but fear was never given into.

The only time I saw Bro. Marshall lose composure was this morning when he told Jan that the Washington congregation had called for a 9:25 am prayer meeting, and even then it was but for a moment. A mighty man indeed humbled by his Spiritual family's response to a call for prayer.

Regg brought up the fact that over the past month and a half the Ixtlan church has received more prayer than it has in a really really long time. The question that raises is, What does God know, that we have yet to find out?

God Bless each of you for your thought in prayer, and I ask for your continued prayerful thoughts for those of Ixtlan. I love you all!

Yo estoy lista para estudiar de nuevo.

2011-09-04T13:35:00.003-05:00

Mom you forgot to pray about stitches!!

I had the opportunity to run another race this morning! It was a half marathon this time. After the high I got from the 10K a month ago I wanted to keep going. So I signed up, and it wasn't 2 days later and I already regretted it. I knew that with my new Neuro schedule I wouldn't have the time to run/prep for a half, but I let my pride blind me. Plus, common sense doesn't come naturally to me, and was obviously lacking when I signed up. But ni modos, I had committed to it, so I was going to run it.
I was regretting the race, because as I've continued through my Neuro rotation, I've quickly discovered that for some reason I am having a really hard time with Neurological Spanish. For the most part the English to Spanish translation comes fairly easy in all other areas of Medicine, but to my frustration, Neurology....not so much. The Neurologists I'm working with have picked up on this (kind of hard to miss) and not so sutely encourage me to study. So this past week, while tying my shoes and stretching to go for a run I'd have to fight a small panic I could sense telling me that I SHOULD BE STUDYING!!! It was the first time I was ever putting running as a higher priority than studying, and I'm one of those students that actually needs to study or I fail. I suppose I could have just waited and gone out and run this morning with out preparing for it, but I wanted to actually enjoy the race.
But it's Sunday now, and the race is over. Back to studying!

I cannot find my camera at the moment. :( But my roommate Jenn, got one of us after the race on her camera so hopefully I'll be able to get it from her.

There were about 4500 runners this morning. I've never run with so many before. I spent about the first 3.5K weaving through people and trying not to trip others or be tripped. I was also advised to take advantage of the water/gatorade stations along the race, so I did. I stopped with the gatorade after a bit, because I actually didn't really like the sweetness while running. After taking a sip of gatorade you just drop the cup, and there was once that I dropped the cup, it landed and splashed all over the lady who had been running to my right. I motioned my apologizes and she just laughed. It's all part of the race. I really liked the water breaks though. I never really drank more than a sip of it, but it was really refreshing to fill my mouth and then spit it out, and the rest squirt all over my face. A couple of times it'd end up being squirted up my nose or in my eyes. Whoops!

Most awkward thing that happened to me this race happened close to the beginning. I heard "Mi reina! mi reina! una foto! una foto?" I looked over to my side and a man had run up beside me. He restated his question, "No quieres una foto?" and motioned to his friend who had a camera. I smiled and quickly ran away. The photographer herself had been running, as well as we, so I just hope between the two movements there was enough to produce nothing more than blurriness.

At another point a man paused beside me and gave me some advice on my running style. I thought that was pretty cool of him. That also sort of shows the common attitude during these races. Everyone is excited and encouraging everyone else. Whistling, clapping, shouting "Animo!!!" Another example, at the end, Jenn's running friends, who had finished about 1/2 hour before me, were telling me congratulations! Like I had been the one to do a superb job instead of them!

I didn't make my time goal this race, but I also ran from about 15K to 20K with a horrible stich in my side. So maybe I'll just blame that. But at the end it had let up and I could sprint the finish of my own motivation this time. And honestly, when all's said and done...I ran a half marathon!

After the race, Jenn was already talking about the PanAmerican Games Marathon in October! But as much as I'd like to keep going I'm not going to fall for it this time. Back to studying for me!

Hasta!

P.S. Mexicans have more names than us Americans, and so signing up a maternal last name was required. I got to run as Christy Stoller Kuntz!

Yo estoy enjaulada.

2011-08-28T14:14:00.005-05:00

It was a busy week. I didn't blog, nor did I put anything down in the journal. So a week of my life is lost to mere memory.
I started a new schedule this week with the start of a new rotation, Neurology. Day 1I was given a schedule, and to put it bluntly....it was a horrible schedule. A horrible schedule is nothing new with UAG, so I thought I'd deal with it and move on, but when I got home, stomped up the stairs to my room, and heard the ugly stomps eching back through the house at me, I made the decision right then that I was not going to adhere to the current schedule. There was no way I was going to adhere to a schedule if it were to only succeed in putting me in an unhappy/mad mood by the end of the day. I would just make my own schedule. But, Praise Jesus! God was a step ahead of me. Tuesday morning I ran into the doctora who had given me the schedule the day before, and without me saying anything, she asked/suggested a different schedule more fitted to what I'm actually supposed to be doing, Neurology.
I used to be the last one in the house to be up in the morning. I'm now gone before anyone else wakes up. A fact which they didn't realize until Friday. I take that as a compliment that I went a whole week quite as a mouse....or maybe a small rat at least. I don't mind the early start time, specifically because it means I miss the horrible traffic due to construction on the way to the hospital, plus I get a good parking spot. As walk through the main floor of the IMSS on my way to the staircase in the back, I find that I'm making my way through a makeshift shelter for the homeless. They've laid their pieces of cardboard out on the benches and set up 'home' for the night. They're still asleep or just waking up then, but by the next time I find myself down on that floor for whatever reason, the hospital has since come alive and they've disappeared with their cardboard.

Last weekend I took a few pictures in Ixtlan.
This is Brenda, little Rubi, Me, and Mari. Brenda and Mari have both come off and on over the years. They are both young, but the past couple of weeks I get the feeling that they are searching for a role model. More unconsciously than consciously, but they want to grow up. They see us as older than them and so have become mimics. It reminds me of being a counsellor at Jr. High Girl's Camp. Girls at that age notice everything from how you dress, to what you laugh at, etc. It reminds us of the importance of walking the talk, especially the loving part. And then little Rubi...this was the first time I had met her. At my first attempts at a photo with her, she wouldn't look at the camera. Bev suggested I show her the photo, so I did...she understood then, and became a cheeseball for the camera.

Bev, Regg and Mari were rolling up the net after volleyball. Rubi jumped in to help out.

In this picture, you'll have to excuse the expression on my face. I'm not sure which of the girls took the picture, but they accidentally cut off the top of Rubi's head, but honestly, I kind of like how it turned out (apart from my face). It looks as if Rubi is trying to duck under a doorway or something. She had been gripping onto my head so that I couldn't see, so I was in the midst of removing her little hands from my eyes. I also like this picture because it shows Rubi's boots. She looked so haphazardly put together with her oversized thread bare clothes, her pink boots, and her dirty face, hands and legs. So easy to love.

Hasta!

Yo estoy cultivando flores.

2011-08-19T16:35:00.009-05:00

Vero and I had our once-a-semester meal-making party again. This semester pot stickers were added to the menu. (we had extra egg roll filling and extra won ton wrappers!)

This past Thursday was all Greek for me!
This is Angela. She's Greek. She hosted a Greek dinner for some of us! Main dish was Pasticio.

And after our Greek dinner...
This is Jason. He's from Greece too. We celebrated his birthday.

This was his birthday cake. It's Zeus!

Like I said...Thursday was very Greek for me! ;)

This is the solitary rose in our backyard.

The east wall of our backyard is covered with these yellow flowers....at least it was until the gardner happened yesterday! This was one that survived.

More flowers from our backyard. These are growing up the stairs that led to the second floor, hence why I'm looking up to take their picture.

My fourth roommate finally got back to GDL on Thursday. She likes having flowers in the house.

One last thing. I took this video a while ago, uploaded it to youtube, and then forgot about it. One night before the rain started I went up on our roof and took a video of the approaching storm. It was much more impressive in person!

Hasta!

Yo estoy al servicio de un Dios Awesome!

2011-08-16T23:00:00.002-05:00

I just spent over an hour writing out a very very long blog post only to finally click 'publish post' and have the entire thing lost. Not even the title was saved. The whole post had been about recent events that I have to praise God for, and then with a click of the button my praise had turned to long groans of frustration! Sad at how easily I can be affected by my surroundings sometimes. :(

I am sorry, but I am not going to write out the entire post again. But in summary, I ran some errands today. Knowing that, due to the type of errands, a lot could go wrong (Paperwork usually goes wrong before it goes right in Mexico) I woke up nervous about my day and praying things would go smoothly. Skipping to the end...I felt as if it was Christmas and I had just been given the most amazing gift. It was almost to good to be true.....could I really have just experienced a bit of efficiancy? Here? In Mexico?

And then I moved on to something even more amazing and on a much bigger scale of praise. Yesterday I received an email, a group email to the Apostolic Christian Medical Fellowship. Even before I started on this road to MD back in high school, I first wanted to be a medical missionary. At the time I knew that to do long term medical missions I would have to do it on my own, which I do not want to do. But I also knew that it would be years in the future, and that My Future Is Not My Own. The email, that I will include below, does not make promises, but it is filled with possibilities. And once again I am reminded to never ever underestimate the power of prayer.

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Listen to what our Lord and master Jesus Christ was busy doing while here on earth, And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people (Mt 9:35)! Healing is mentioned > 50 times in the gospels!
Remember what Jesus instructed his disciples to do, And He sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick (Lk 9:2)! And what did the disciples do? ... And they departed, and went through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing every where (Lk 9:6).
Now this is exciting ... we who are true disciples of Jesus Christ are called to likewise minister to a hurting world. This may be close to where we grew up or in a land where the language is difficult, or both.

Over the past several years, when our paths would cross on the mission field or in our local church, many of us have visited about the opportunities and challenges of medical missions. Our desire to further this work prompted the discussion during the Apostolic Christian Medical Fellowship meeting last year in Chicago to request the formation of a Medical Committee under the jurisdiction of World Relief. A presentation on the need for a medical committee and the potential contributions thereof was given to the World Relief Board this past Saturday.

The World Relief Board has, as requested, charged the ACMF with implementation of a Medical Committee for provision of a professional foundation and guidance for our medical works teams, for quality assurance of provided services, and for evaluation of opportunities as they arise.

This provides us with an opportunity to facilitate combining the interest and enthusiasm that we have seen on work teams with a sound professional science-based approach. It also provides accountability, deadlines, and organization. The next World Relief Board meeting is scheduled in December and it would behoove us to have a committee with goals and objectives setup by that time.

The initial challenge will be to bring together a motivated group of medical professionals who are committed to providing quality medical care through the opportunities, current and future, provided through our Apostolic Christian World Relief. Initial search for these individuals will be via the Apostolic Christian Medical Fellowship email list. However, we also will need to reach out to pharmacist and therapists.

A tentative list of what the committee may look like is:
3 physicians (MD, DO)
2 (NP, PA, nurse educator)
1 pharmacist
1 PT or OT
2 dentist(s)
1 elder
1 non-medical person

Bro. Kent Heimer will either be, or provide, the elder for the committee. I am also willing to serve on the committee and can initially serve as a clearing house for correspondence. As one can imagine, there is a lot of work to do to get organized and up-and –running. After that, we will be focused on the opportunities of medical interest and can continue to make a difference serving others. I would envision we will want both experienced and recently (or currently) trained professionals, representing a broad array of specialties, practice arrangements, and geographic locations with interests in Haiti, Mexico, USA, and anywhere we’re needed.

So please, each and everyone of you who could invest yourselves in shaping, improving, & expanding our medical mission outreach step up to the task at hand. Also, please pass along the opportunity to other pharmacists and therapist who are interested and have participated in missions.

As soon have we have a significant number of potential committee members, we will arrange a meeting for working our the myriad of details such as terms, responsibilities, and goals & objectives.

serving together to His glory,
Lee

P.S. Please forward a copy of this to any pharmacist and physical &/or occupational therapist within our brotherhood (and any any additional physician or APN). If you also cc me, I will add them to the database.

Hasta!!!!!!!!!

Yo estoy esperando la lluvia.

2011-08-13T16:18:00.002-05:00

I love the anticipation when we call for a new patient, and then getting to see the story that they have for us. Some are quite characters; others hardly talk and the whole consult lasts about 4 minutes, but most are in between. Here's a few stories that make me smile.

A young boy came to our office with his mom, you could tell that he was of the ornery sort. At one point of the consult I was writing out a prescription for the boy while the doctora was taking time to explain some techniques and guidelines to help him. She listed off some foods that he should try to avoid, chocolate was one of them. At that point I looked up to see the normally fidgety boy sitting still with his eyes buggin out of his head. He slowly turned to his mom, and in an almost whisper said, "I can't have chocolate?" Poor kid! What a tragedy that would be...no chocolate!!??!

Another young boy we had visit our office came with his mom and his older brother. While the boy with a wart on his finger kept staring at us playing at the front of the doctora's desk, his brother preferred to hide behind their mom squeezing himself between his mom's chair and the wall. Due to the mom's conviction that liquid medications haven't helped the disappearance of the wart in question, but at the same time the doctora's dislike for surgically removing warts at such an age the conversation was going back and forth for awhile each explaining their reasoning. While the doctora explained the process of surgical removal we heard a sudden sob and noticed that while the patient was still as happy as before his older brother was obviously not with huge tears rolling down his cheeks. Poor kid was clearly scared. Without trying to, he had probably helped the doctora convince the mom to try a liquid medications one more time.

One last patient I want to comment on, is the bravest I've seen in our office so far, a small 9 year old girl. She did have some warts removed. She did not flinch, nor even blink an eye. Even if they aren't hurt by it, the sound of the cauterizer normally causes the patients to flinch at least, but she stayed even more still. I was very impressed!

Hasta!

Yo estoy asqueada.

2011-08-10T14:01:00.002-05:00

Dogs bark.
Cows moo.
Cats meow.
and I live another day.

I'm still enjoying Dermatology. I really like the doctora that I'm working with. The ringtone of her personal cell phone is "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain so everytime she gets a call 'Let's go girls!' rings out around the office. Makes me smile to myself everytime!

Dermatology has got to be the easiest area of medicine I've encountered so far. I don't mean easy as in anyone can do it, but easy as in the demand it places on your life. Not much other than regular office hours. In the past I've been sprayed with blood and splashed with baby. The worst I've had in Derm is spritzed with steroid. All in a day's work! :)

For the past week or so I've driven past a speed trap on my way home from the hospital without a problem. Guess I forgot about it today. So I took my spot in line behind all the other cars being routed to the side of the road to wait for their tickets. Had a lovely chat with the policeman, explained all my paperwork to him, then he went about filling out my ticket. The thing about writing me a ticket in Mexico is that I could get by without paying it (for various reasons), but I also know myself well enough that I know I'd pay it anyways just to avoid any possible complications that could arise. However, when this guy finishes he comes back to my window, and starts messing around. I told myself I would never pay off an officer and in my past few encounters I've been completely honest, and then played dumb and ditzy for the rest with 100% success rate. But today this guy was so blatently obvious in what he wanted. Such an abuse of power sickens me. Or perhaps it was just the smug look on his face as he repeated for the third time that I can't tell anyone about the exchange. Or even more likely, probably the combination of the two.

Hasta!

Yo estoy corriendo!

2011-08-07T10:36:00.004-05:00

I woke up this morning excited and ready to go. It definitely helped that I had eaten pizza last night, because my body was sufficiently stocked with carbs. I had a race this morning. I came across it while on the website for the Panamerican Games last week. I had been sad at the time because I had just discovered that the Opening Ceremony for the Panamerican Games was already all sold out. (tickets in my price range at least!) So running a 10k rumbo a los panamericanos Guadalajara 2011, seemed like a good alternative. I got a few friends to run with me too! Based on my mood when I woke up I new that it was going to be a good run, but it was fantastic!

I kind of stumbled out of the starting gate. Friday night I had not been able to fall asleep and spent about 3 hours trying to before finally turning my mp3 player to some Jim Brickman which successfully lulled me to sleep in about 1.5 songs. Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten about it and so starting up my music expecting to hear "Forward Motion" by RelientK and instead getting a lullaby....red flashing lights went off in my mind going ABORT!!! ABORT!!! Easily remedied and I was on my way!

A while back I posted links to some videos I'd made while driving home from Ixtlan one night. In one such video, Navegating Guadalajara, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf05XB9OzUI you see a bridge lit up with blue lights. The race took us up and over that bridge. Honestly, that alone would have made the race worth it for me!

There was a runner that ran juggling three pins the whole way!

There was a runner that ran the entire 10k backwards!

The route would double back on itself periodically, and you get to see the front runners. A leisurely sprint, and not even winded. It's amazing!

I had set a goal for myself at the beginning of the race. I judge how I am doing time wise according to the songs on my running list. When I knew the route had made its last turn and I was headed back towards the finish line I also knew that I was running out of time if I was to make my goal. I was thankful that I was able to push myself harder, but I had misjudged the returning stretch. Another song ended, and I was realizing I still had a bit left, and then the route started uphill all the way to the finish. I started counting the lines on the street, which is what I do when I'm tired and trying to not think about being tired. Then suddenly, this young guy in green who was about to pass me, matched my pace. I could see that he kept looking at me. So I tested him. Increased me speed then backing off again. He matched whatever I did. I broke out in a huge smile and started sprinting for the finish. We crossed with over a minute to spare on my goal. We shared a huge grin and then parted ways! I have no idea who that guy was, but to whomever, Thanks! That was a fun finish!

Rumbo a los panamericanos basically means Bound for the Panamerican Games!

Sorry I went on so long about the race, but I was really excited and wanted to share with someone! Now I can officially say I've run a 10k! Plus I even got home before Gridley's morning services started!

A beautiful Sunday morning in Guadlajara!

Hasta!

Yo estoy tuyo y tuyo sere.

2011-08-03T14:24:00.005-05:00

This is hard to explain, but towards the end of 6th semester, back in May/June of this year, I felt as if God was taking a huge paddle and stirring. I was confused about so much. I was getting dizzy. I didn't know what was going on, and of course I made some bad decisions that didn't help the matter. I was feeling like a failure, and I just wanted away from it. Which was granted by the end of the semester and me being on a plane the next day headed away. While in the States I was thankful to have a couple of conversations that covered this topic, but as I was still confused as to the exact nature of the problem itself the conversations all ended as discussions without solutions. And then by the end of Boston, I had all but completely forgotten about what was waiting for me upon my return. Within a few days of being back, the dizziness was returning and with it the dread that I couldn't figure out how to not be a failure to my classmates anymore. There were many quickly breathed prayers of "Lord, I just want to go to Ixtlan! I miss my friends there, I just want to be with them." And suddenly, after one such prayer, I was hit with conviction, and realized that prayer was my problem. God has me in GDL to serve here, and not only was I failing my classmates but I was failing Jesus by asking to be somewhere else.

I still went to Ixtlan this past weekend, of course!! ;) And while there I was able to enjoy not only my Ixtlan family but church family visiting from the States who had helped with VBS last week. Through conversation with one of the visiting sisters I found the first person ever in my three years of being in GDL who understood on a personal level the loneliness that Satan gnaws at me with. And I realized what I already knew. That I had gotten so tired of his gnawing that I wanted to give up. I was so tired of fighting for Jesus by myself that I had to a certain extent stopped fighting, hence the resulting bad decisions I had made.

If someone asked, "Would you die for Jesus?" What would you say? For me that's an easy question with a simple answer, Yes! But now suppose someone asked, "Would you live for Jesus?" Now that's a hard question. To continually deny self. To continually try to live out love to people who don't understand the meaning of the word that they themselves use excessively.

The purpose of this blog isn't to bore you with a personal confession, but rather to share a bit of background with you in order to ask for something. I covet your prayers for our Wednesday night Bible study as they continue this semester. Please pray for the individuals in attendance that they could listen past the mere mortal speaking to the actual message being delivered. Please pray that their own personal search for answers won't stop when they see someone just as capable of mistakes as they are. Please pray that they will see past me, to the Truth that they hold in their own hands. And lastly pray for me, that I could be a living example of Jesus' love for those I come in contact with. That I can continue to serve my Lord and Saviour, right here, and right now!
Thank you and God bless you all.
Hasta!

One last thing I'd like to share. Chelli sent a birthday CD down to me last year. It's currently in the player in my car so I get to listen to it everyday to and from the hospital. One of the songs, the artist sings as to a girl, but when he gets to the chorus I can't help but sing along as if I'm singing to Jesus.

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
...
I won't hesitate no more,
No more, it cannot wait I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and [x] you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We are just one big family
It’s your god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved

So, I won't hesitate no more,
No more, it cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

Yo estoy escuchando.

2011-07-29T16:53:00.002-05:00

ello & appy Friday!

Dermatology is going well. In short, it's easy. Although by the end of these 4 weeks I wonder if I'll be able to say Head and Shoulder correctly, or if Ead and Choulder will have replaced it completely.

After my averted attempt at turning in my FM3 paperwork last Monday, it took just 3 more trips to the main campus for them to accept everything. I can't complain about 4 total trips, it's normal and expected. But there's always a small hope lingering that it'll just take one trip that inevitably gets smashed every year. Oh well, at least being in Derm, I had the time to make all the trips with no damage done.

I am thankful it's rainy season in GDL now. Things are much cooled down due to the daily downpours. Normally the rain happens late evening or during the night. But for some reason last night it decided to wait to rain until this morning. In anticipation of all the backed up traffic from the flooded streets I left early for the hospital, and still got there late. (Still beat the doctora there though, so no problems!) I was thankful there were parking spots available on the block of the hospital, and after my typical awkard attempt at a parallel park I opened my door, umbrella in hand, to find myself in the middle of a river. oooeeeeee! I jumped from my car with minimal splashing and then tried finding an ideal place to get from the middle of the street to the sidewalk with no success. But deciding the middle of the street not to be the best place for me I hiked up my white pant legs and braved the river. I walked into the hospital this morning going 'squish, thump, squish, thump, squish..." Que attractive, no?

Coming back from my weeks in the States I've noticed some new billboards that have gone up in my absence. They are advertising McDonald's. I have to admit, once in a great while I enjoy some McDonald's myself. About a year or two ago they started their McTrio del dia. (McTrio of the day). A Medium fry, drink, and sandwhich for a cheap price. Last semester they started offering the Grande option with their McTrios. Not good in my opinion, but inevitable considering it is afterall, McDonald's. But now these billboards are advertising the McTrio Plus. Everytime I see one such billboard I have a sudden desire to grab a shot-gun and obliterate the thing. Good Grief McDonald's!!!!! Mexico needs no help getting fatter, they're doing a fantastic job of that all on their own!

Last but not least for this blog. I miss my old apartment. I did not realize how spoiled I was by having so much space. But even more so, I miss my windows. I had windows that looked outside in my old apartment. The window in my room opens into the well that descends through our house from the roof to the bottom floor and is covered on top by yellow plastic. In my old place I'd have the windows open 24/7 and was able to enjoy the thunderstorms. Here having my windows open doesn't actually matter, as I still don't get air movement through them, and the rain falling on plastic is borderline obnoxious! I know I'll get used to it, and even if I don't I'll get over it. :)

Hasta!

Yo estoy reunida con mi equipaje.

2011-07-25T20:54:00.008-05:00

My alarm woke me up this morning at the time I had set it for. Only problem was that I had first forgotten to switch the time from Boston to GDL. Didn't realize I was an hour early until I was in my car and saw the green digits laughing at me. It didn't take much for my housemates to convince me to take a nap.

Today was a typical first day in Mexico. Went to HAL first and got paperwork taken care of there. Then was off to a hospital in Tlaquepaque (probably was once a suburb of GDL, but has since gotten engulfed by the growing city). I was scheduled for 4 weeks of Neurology, however when I got there they told me that they don't have a Neurology service at that particular IMSS. So I'm doing Dermatology instead, and then will have to transfer to another hospital to do Neurology. Driving home today I was finally able to turn on the radio in my car and relax a little bit. I wasn't stressed before, but I had tried the radio and ended up snapping it right back off prefering to drive in the quiet.

I also made a trip to the main campus to get the process started on my FM3 renewal/address change. I walked in the building, turned the corner to head towards the International office, and froze. The office was packed with starting first semesters. It must be their orientation week. I paused a moment more, then turned on my heel and headed back the way I'd come. There was no way I was going to enter that room then. I'll have to try again tomorrow, hopefully at an earlier time.

My suitcase was delivered today. As no one was home this morning we arranged for our neighbor to receive it for me. Same neighbors that let me park me car in their parking spot all summer while I was gone. This means that I have all my cords back, a.k.a. here's some pictures!!!

Museum of Fine Arts. Chihuly blown glass exhibit.

Jamaica Pond: kind of like the jewel hanging from the Emerald Necklace (a 7 mile long path/park through Boston)

My last day at Children's Hospital Boston.

For our last day in Boston, Amy & I made plans to go downtown to the New England Aquarium. Delayed a bit by a sudden downpour, but we made it. Joining us are Luke (the son of the lady I stayed with), and Pablo.

Then Amy & I headed out to the ocean. Far past all of the small islands, the one below was my favorite, out until nothing but ocean is seen, and then....

....the water suddenly breaks and power rises out, and unless you were already looking in its direction, disappears before you know it leaving behind a splash any cannonball would be jealous of. The whales that we happened across were in the midst of a feeding frenzy so it was amazing as they were being very active. It the end the naturalist aboard the boat with us guessed that we had seen about 20 different whales on our trip.

I'll leave you with a video. CHB had the most fun musical stairs ever. It took a lot of self restraint to not play on them everyday. Thankfully Amy was willing to enjoy the novelty with me.

Hasta!

Yo estoy adaptando.

2011-07-24T21:16:00.003-05:00

Breaking News: Culprit of recent blog highjacks has been caught and charged accordingly. Prosecution is pressing for 5 years hard blogging. ;)

I made it back to GDL today in a timely manner. I was able to make-up for a sleepless night by catching a few winks on my flights. Unfortunately, my suitcase did not have such a pleasant trip as I. It's currently lost somewhere in between Boston and Guadalajara. It had to happen eventually I guess. I'm somehow confident that it'll make it back to me...just like Little Bo Peep's sheep. "Leave them alone, and they will come home, wagging their tails behind them." I did go ahead a buy a new toothbrush and tooth paste though. Figured a cute little sheep tail wasn't enough to make up for overgrown oral flora.

This also means that pictures are on hold a day or so longer as my bag of cords was haphazardly stuffed into my suitcase at 2:00am this morning rendering me camera cordless in addition to computer cordless and phone cordless.

Hasta!

"For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth." Romans 10:4

Yo estoy hijackando

2011-07-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

Hola everybody!

As Christy continues to work diligently at Boston’s Children’s Hospital and spends her evenings goofing off with me, I thought I would do her a favor and hijack her blog! Who is this awesomely mysterious hijack blogger, you ask? Amy! Her old roommate, Boston-visiting friend!

Christy and I started our week long adventure with a visit from her sister and brother-in-law, Carrie and Troy. The four of us hit many of Boston’s most famous sights: Freedom Trail, Swan Boats, Cheers Bar, Duck Tour, Boston Commons, Frog Pond, MiT campus and museum, and Ye Old Oyster House. The food was wicked and the hills killed my legs!

The rest of the week Christy and I found amazingly cheap ways to entertain ourselves. We semi-crashed a backyard barbeque graduation party. We viewed a pre-cut movie as part of a research study by the production team. I can’t tell you the name of it or anything about it unless I want to get sued (or maybe Christy would. Muahaha!), but I can say that it had some big A-list names in it and at one point the characters talked about Normal IL (no joke!). We saw the beautiful Chihuly glass exhibit at the Art Museum, played on the musical stairs at the Children’s Hospital, and got “mooned” by some Boston firefighters (long story).

Sadly, we only have a few days left in Boston, but we have some great plans (going to a lake and the Aquarium)! Plus, who knows where the cobble stones roads will lead us! I also have a surprise planned for Christy on Saturday evening. Shhh! Don’t tell! :)

Stay tuned for Christy’s point of view, some pictures, and a video!

Hasta Pasta!

Amy

Yo estoy yendo de paseo turístico

2011-07-18T15:06:00.007-05:00

This past weekend was an absolute blast! Amy Hohulin has come and is staying the week with me. In addition, Carrie and Troy were in Boston for the weekend. We were non-stop tourists all weekend long and only made a dent in what Boston has to offer. A great big hug to Carrie and Troy for making the quick trip!!
Here's just a few moments from the sites we saw, the adventures we had and the miles we walked.

Aboard a Swan boat enjoying a leisurely row around the Public Garden lagoon.

Make Way for Ducklings!!!! …and then some.

Lunch at Ye Olde Union Oyster House. Oldest restaurant in the US.

Visit to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Old State House. The Declaration of Independence was read from that balcony I believe July 18, 1776. The intersection in front of it was the site of the Boston Massacre March 5, 1770.

Hasta!

Yo estoy esperando.

2011-07-16T01:55:00.002-05:00

It's really not ideal to be up at 3:00 am on a Saturday morning. But when you're waiting for a visitor to arrive it is completely normal and acceptable. Amy Hohulin's plane has arrived and she's on her way right here! right now! (I'm sure you all wanted to be updated to that extent ;) We'll meet Carrie and Troy tomorrow morning downtown and start a fun weekend filled with lots and lots of touristy things!!! I've been sitting here making a rudimentary list of all of our options, what to choose? what to choose?

In the meantime I wanted to post the following picture of my cousin Danielle and I last Sunday evening. She lives in Tennessee and was passing through Boston on her way to Maine for a vacation. What a random opportunity that we could just not pass up!! I should have thought enough ahead to take a picture while there was more daylight so the Boston Common background would have been visible, but I didn't. I'm sorry. But you can consol yourself knowing that it was a particularly unexciting corner of the Common we were in, so you're not missing much.

Hasta!

Yo estoy dependiente.

2011-07-12T17:17:00.000-05:00

Back in GDL, UAG has resumed. This means that many of my classmates yesterday were posting as their Facebook status something to the excitatory effect of a “new semester”. And although technically I am two weeks ahead of them (having started my 7th semester two weeks ago), I now feel two weeks behind. Or to be more exact, two weeks and one day behind all of them. I’m scheduled to start in my assigned hospital on the 25th in GDL, however, because of the inefficiency we all know and love as Mexico’s own system of organized chaos, the 25th I will instead be running all over the city in between offices and hospitals just trying to get documents where they need to be. I roll my eyes at this, because I already know what is most likely to happen. I will return to GDL on the 24th, spend hours trying to get myself organized and my plan of attack all laid out for Monday, all to find out come Monday that everything they told me in June (right before I left) has now changed and I actually need to do this, this and that instead. I may have to plan on going to the gym for a boxing class that night....

Anyways, back to the here and now, I’ve finally come to a point in my learning here in Boston where I’ve come upon some down time. If I had the choice, I’d rather not have the down time, but at the same time, I can actually take it as a good sign. I’m getting my work done in much, much, much less time and much more independently than before. I did learn a lesson yesterday though, that I shouldn’t let myself be too independent:
- One of my patients is an adorable baby boy, unfortunately he has a messed-up heart (technical term ;). But because having a messed-up heart isn’t enough, they saw signs of an intestinal infection so took precautions to avoid it, one such precaution is not letting the baby eat. So I started him on a PN prescription. Many problems later and a long story made short, he ended up being way behind on his PN. Monday I came in, assessed his status and then put in the order for an advance in his PN. One of the dieticians then reviews the case, notices the patient has a high blood sugar that morning and freaks out because I had increased the dextrose of his PN. I called the nurse to confirm that the reading had been contaminated, and she agrees to get a heel stick reading as soon as possible. In the meantime, this dietician continues to freak out. She tries talking to the attending team in charge of the baby to get them to just flat out change the PN order, but they refused her saying he needs the increased calories. (They’d already told me that when I’d asked them about the situation.) This now had succeeded in making her mad. She calls our attending and vents to him, but he just told her to wait until the heel stick results. In the end, her rampage was all for nothing. The heel stick proved that the high reading had been a contaminant, and the PN was advanced just as I had originally recommended. If we had been in Mexico I would have told her to “toma una pastilla de CHILL!” Either way, lesson learned, and now I make sure I go to or at least call the particular dietician I’m in consult with to get their stamp of approval before I actually put in recommendations.

This morning I attended a breakfast conference with the fellows. The topic was constipation. (Constipation for breakfast!! Yum!!) The doctor giving the topic was not shy to admit that she LOVES constipation. I actually appreciated that she said that because it made me excited to hear her talk. Whenever someone loves what they are talking about, it shows, and almost always makes for an interesting talk no matter what the subject is. And of course, it ended up being an excellent conference. At one point she was talking about a certain study and made a joke about how they do the study in Mexico, which everybody laughed at. I, on the other hand, got defensive. Just because Mexico does not have all the nifty resources available CHB does, doesn’t mean they should get made fun of. Instead they should be recognized for their creativity in developing a method of completing the exact same study with the few resources they do have. But all jokes or nonjokes aside, I learned a lot about constipation from her..…who knew?!?!
Hasta!

Yo estoy calculando.

2011-07-09T17:24:00.005-05:00

This past week was more intense as I added on average a patient a day to my workload. I know that doesn't sound bad, but from my perspective I was being asked to magically know how to recommend individualized parenteral nutrition perscriptions for these patients when a dietician gets years of practice before actually being put on the spot like that. So in other words I was doing a lot of calculating both in and then for hours out of the hospital too. So now at the end of the week I've ended up with pages and pages of scribbled calculations and lots of crossing out followed by rescribblings.

And yes, the actual work is fuzzy in the above picture. You can think HIPAA for that ;) I haven't done this much math since I was last in a math class, probably over 4 years ago now.

Something else I'm experiencing here that is quite unique is specialization. I can say that so-and-so is my patient, which would be true, but at the same time I am just 1 of about 14 doctors that is able to say that. I have yet to form an opinion on what I think about this as there are quite obvious pros and cons to this form of medicine. Say it's a baby in the cardiac ICU, who now has an intestinal infection rendering him NPO (nothing by mouth), that's where I come into play --- cue the parenteral nutrition *trumpet fanfare*!!! But I'm just one more doctor being added to the already long list of neonatologists, cardiologists, gastroenterologists, and of course all of the fellows, residents, interns, and students that go along with each of those areas. Pro- this baby is getting the best attention possible because it's got specialists for each different area. Con - this makes it so easy to turn communication into miscommunication. You figure out your recommendations, figure out who you need to communicate them to, then actually communicate your recommendations, and finally you have to remember check up on them later to make sure that said recommendations were communicated correctly. By taking a step back and just observing this mechanism at work, I see that it really isn't that bad as long as those involved in the relay are well practiced in the art of communication. On my part, I've definitely improved this week, but probably still a few kinks to work out before I can run smoothly with the rest of Children's.

One more picture to share with you. I discovered the use of my Webcam, which then proceeded to provide me with a few minutes of delightful entertainment!

Hasta!

Yo estoy orgullosa.

2011-07-05T19:15:00.005-05:00

View of the Charles River from Harvard Bridge looking in the direction of the Longfellow Bridge taken sometime Monday evening before the sun disappeared.

This is me and Pablo, a fellow UAG med student, enjoying Boston's 4th of July festivities. (Note: His Boston Red Sox cap had been given to him about 4 years ago before he even knew where Boston was or what the Red Sox were. Life's circumstances sometimes are just too perfect to be just circumstance.) :)

Monday was indeed a very long day, but Pablo introduced me to his housemates and I made many new friends. They were all international, mostly from Germany and France, so being the only American amongst our group for a very American holiday was quite a unique experience.
It was brought to my attention that our particular holiday celebration was seen as odd because of the fireworks. When I responded that Mexico has fireworks at their independence celebration it was explained. Mexico has 'el grito' as their big celebration and fireworks accompany 'el grito'. But in America we have fireworks and then occasionally a concert (as in Boston's case) or music to accompany the fireworks. Here the celebration IS the fireworks. I understood the point being made and confessed I'd never thought about it before. The discussion kind of ended there. Sometimes I have to think awhile, and after mulling this particular topic over for a day I've come to a more dramatic conclusion than the one I made yesterday. And that is that we celebrate our fireworks because, they aren't just fireworks to an American. Listen to our National Anthem and it will tell you that:
"And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;"
When Sandi Patti's rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner swells at the end of the fireworks display to que the grand finale these crowds of people aren't shouting and cheering for a mere bit of gunpowder and fire, but they are shouting in recognition of a great nation that has fought, and bleed, and by the grace of God exists today yet strong, and in that moment they are free, they are united and they are proud.

God Bless America!

Yo estoy libre!

2011-07-03T11:17:00.003-05:00

I am attending church today at the local Starbuck's close by Children's here in Boston. The slow internet signal where I am staying prevents the live feed from actually transmitting, so I'm here, at Starbuck's. Listened to Dave Zehr this morning sipping a coffee, watching life traverse by on Longwood Ave and with coffee shop soundtrack in the background. It feels really good to be free this weekend.

I was thrilled to be told I wasn't expected at Children's on Monday. It ends up I'll probably be celebrating the 4th of July by myself this year, but I do plan on going down to the Esplanade. So in reality, I won't be by myself, but rather 1 of a million enjoying the holiday festivities. As the Boston Pops 4th of July Celebration is considered the premier 4th of July Celebration in the nation I am thrilled to have this opportunity to get to experience it first hand. I have been reading information online about the event, and am sad to realize I'm missing the weekend long events. Such as the reenactment yesterday that started in Boston Harbor ending on the Boston Commons or today's Chowderfest! But I'd decided to stay in my area and study instead. By studying as much as I can these first three weeks, I won't feel guilty about not studying my last week when I have visitors!!!! Yay! I love visitors! However, tomorrow is going to be a longer day than I was expecting. Apparently, to enjoy the celebration from the Esplanade itself you have to have a wristand attainable at any of the three entrances to the area, and furthermore they typically run out of wrist bands by about 2:00pm. Sooooooo, it's going to be a long day! If you guys want to watch the fireworks with me they'll be on CBS!!!!!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!!!

Yo estoy.... no ahora, Tengo Hambre!!

2011-06-30T17:42:00.003-05:00

Doesn't it always seem to happen that when you have minimal food sources available that you get this huge appetite! Or, maybe it's just me. The free lunches really help out with this problem, but today I had a clinic that started at 12 leaving me free-lunchless. And then I run into the problem that since I've only been able to buy minimal groceries at this point, I've ended up constricting my diet. I've already eaten my sandwhich for the day. If I want something else I'd have to eat another sandwhich, because it's all I have, but then I'd be eating tomorrow's sandwhich, leaving me with what for tomorrow?

I'm getting used to life in an American hospital. Used to the phenomenon of being paged and paging others. My office is in a building across the street from the actual hospital so I'm back and forth between the two all day long. At the beginning of the week I had some business to discuss with some people across the street so I got up and left to go talk with them. By the time I'd gotten outside I realized that I probably could have just paged or even called these people (there's a phone at my desk). But instead of returning and paging them, I just kept going. Old habits die hard.

The clinic that I helped with today is a once-a-week specialty clinic for patients with Short Gut Syndrome and/or those on home parenteral nutrition. There's a variety of etiologies, but basically SGS kids have only partial intestine remaining. This clinic kind of made it clear to me just what exactly Children's is able to provide for it's patients, and why these patients come from all over the US to attend. (Why someone would fly across the country for their monthly check-up.) It's because Children's is worth it. Granted, I think the most 'helpful' thing that I was able to do at the clinic today was interpreting but next week I'll do more.

Hasta!!

Yo estoy sobreviviendo......yo sobrevivi!!!!!!!!

2011-06-27T21:34:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning and paniced to see brillant sunlight flooding my room and lighting up it's blue walls. Grabbing my cell reassurred me that I hadn't overslept, but rather I still had 1 1/2 hours before my alarm was scheduled to go off. I sighed, laid my head back down and smiled. That moment of panic had raised my heart rate, but now as I closed my eyes again it wasn't panic that was making my heart lub dub at a slightly increased pace. It was excitement.

When I got on to blog just now I read the comments from yesterday about those praying for me, which reaffirms what I knew this morning. When I woke up this morning there was not a doubt in my mind that I had received prayers in my name. I've come to recognize the feeling as a sudden feeling of peace, or in the case of this morning...excitement. In other words, it's what I have been praying for and trying to achieve unsuccessfully, and then, inexplicably it's there, and I know someone somewhere prayed. So thank you. You are wonderful people. And I pray that God blesses your lives to overflowing.

To summarize the day, it went very well. The nutrition staff are all incredibly nice and very eager to help and to teach. I got through the day with minimal comments about my third-world level of knowledge such as,
Dr. - "You don't use pagers???...how do you get ahold of people?"
Me - "You go look for them."
or such as, "Do you get emails on your phone?...no?...oh..." Although that second one may just be me and not necessarily my Mexican medical upbringing.
And now I want to go into a huge list of all the luxuries of medicine available at Children's that make me go ooooo and ahhhhhh and Wow! But I won't for the same reason that I don't let myself go on about some of the things that go on at my hospitals in Mexico. It's not fair to compare the two. They run by two incomparable systems and as such they function just fine as two different institutions. But I will squeel about a few things!!! Things like conferences that come with free lunch!!! or I was given my own office (I share with one other 2nd year student there to do research) complete with a desk, chair, and computer just for me!

So I am thankful that today is over with, that today went well, and that there are amazing prayer warriors out there! I love you!

Hasta!

Yo estoy esperando.

2011-06-26T14:35:00.003-05:00

Slight step up from UAG I guess....more like sheer cliff. I feel like I stepped off the plane and have been greeted by a rock wall. I'm tired from having sat up all night in airports and on airplanes. I've got an annoying headache...again! If I didn't know that I have to do this I honestly feel right now like turning tail and heading back to GDL.

Lord knows I just really want Monday to be over with right now!

Hasta!

Yo estoy excursionando.

2011-06-24T17:45:00.003-05:00

This June could be described as a whirlwind, as something in any circling rush or violent onward course. Or more appropriate perhaps (violent could be considered overly dramatic) would the term whirlwind be used as an adjective to describe June. Such as a 'whirlwind June' meaning like a whirlwind, as in speed or force.

Since my last post I finished up my last week of 6th semester medical school at UAG. And though UAG administration had been mixing up our 7th semester for us (in other words, changing rules, requirements, etc. etc.) it all ended ok, as it always somehow does. I know this won't be the last UAG messes with us, but I'm to the point where I've just got to ride out my last year. I know that my future is in God's hands, and I'm sure the rollar coaster will continue as such. I've just got to hang on and enjoy it! I am so incredibly thankful God is in control of my life, I seriously don't think I'd be able to handle the predicaments I find myself in on my own. Correction...I know I couldn't.

Then there was 5 days spent in Illinois. That was not enough.

Now I'm in Utah. Been scrambling over rocks and hiking the canyons and ridges here for the past week with my family.

And finally, tomorrow we are heading up to Salt Lake City where my flight leaves, Lord willing, bringing me to my final destination and home for the next 4 weeks of my life, Boston.
Today I completed an online training course on how to use the computer based system used at Children's. At the beginning it said it should take me 60-90 minutes.....they weren't factoring into that the fact that I've never even seen such a system before in my life. I knew I was going to feel stupid coming to the US hospitals, but oh boy! This is one of those predicaments I was referring to earlier. Lord...help!

Hasta!

Yo estoy tratando seguir.

2011-06-05T22:51:00.004-05:00

Our bodies are fantastic creations. When you put something inside of them that does not belong, they don't even bother asking you for permission....they just get rid of it as fast as they can and by any means possible. My Friday night was spent in such a predicament. My body wouldn't even let me drink water though I wanted it soooooo badly. I don't ever remember feeling that dehydrated. I stuck out my arm and asked the emptiness beside my bed to please start an IV for me. (I think I was bordering on delusional at that point.) By 4:00am Saturday I was starting to get a little nervous about my chances of making it to Ixtlan for the weekend. But as I've already said, our bodies are fantastic creations, and by 9:15am I was on my way.

My friend, Jennifer, came with me this weekend. It's exciting to share Ixtlan with my GDL friends. I talk about it all the time and it's nice to know that they can put a face with a name etc. Jenn's one of my future roommates so hopefully she'll be able to come again and perhaps next time someone else will join us.

Jenn wasn't the only visitor in Ixtlan this weekend. Kirby and Areli Reutter are visiting from Indiana and brought a group with them. Amongst this wonderful group was none other than the fabulous Kristin Zimmerman. She's totally gone up 5 points on the cool factor scale. I'm telling you, visiting GDL/Ixtlan Mexico does that to a person automatically. Easiest cool factor points EVER!!! Fun tidbit: Kristin's going to be in Gridley next weekend proving what a small world it is! :)

Which reminds me!!!!! It suddenly hit me Saturday that I'LL BE IN ILLINOIS IN 1 WEEK!!!!! (less than that now) This week is going to be full of changes, and a huge pile of things to do that I'll frantically be trying to diminish in time while still be ready for my final final on Friday. But either way, two things are very true. Time passes whether I'm ready for it or not. And, I'm soooooo ready for this whirlwind visit back home. YOU BETTER BE READY ILLINOIS, CAUSE I'M COMIN' A DANCIN'!!!!! ;)

There were also two brothers from Hungary visiting in Ixtlan who will be there for a bit. One spoke some Spanish no English, but the second spoke only Hungarian (it was quite humorous to see Matt attempting communication with him Saturday night; it's pretty amazing how far you can get with only body language/charades/props!) Who's planning the next trip to visit our brothers and sisters in Hungary?

As for the update that I mentioned two blog posts ago. I let go of those small stones a bit ago trusting God would land them where He willed. It took me aback to discover the size of the Goliath that God has choosen for me. I received an acceptance to Harvard Medical School, and so *gulp* trusting that God will be going with me, I'll be headed to the East Coast to Boston's Children's Hospital to complete my first US elective during the month of July. I place this elective in God's hands, that though I'll just be "passing through," there for only a short while, I trust that not only will I grow from the experience, but I will be of use to my Savior while there. First and foremost and always working for God's Kingdom.

Hasta!

Yo estoy contando pollitos.

2011-05-31T19:02:00.003-05:00

Today started off a rush of drama in the tococirugia (labor & delivery). First off we had a mother in labor making a horrible racket. They couldn't get her under control so they finally gave up and took her into the delivery room. Trouble was...she was only at 23 weeks gestation. I wanted to slap her, because apparently she was so concerned with herself she didn't even stop to think what danger she was putting her baby in. I observed as the pediatric doctora and intern calmly received the baby and did what they could for 20 minutes. IMSS #110 is not equipped for a premature neonate of that extreme, and hence why the doctora was so calm. She received the baby knowing that after 20 minutes had passed she'd have to stop and let nature take its course. The worst part was that even though it was only at 23 weeks, it was obvious that with the right equipment this baby stood a very good chance of survival. It could have made it, but instead we left it wrapped up in a towel to stop breathing on its own. The whole situation upset me so much I had to leave the room. I made it to a chair and sat down but was so sick I still felt like I was going to pass out. I think it would be an understatement to say that I cannot handle neonatology.

After starting our day off as such, the drama didn't stop, but thankfully the next baby came with a miracle wrapped up beside it. The baby had somehow managed to flip around so much it had knotted its umbilical cord into a perfectly formed knot. At that point God must have stopped the baby in its tracks because with one more somersault that baby would have caused the knot to tighten cutting off his own life-support. When that baby came out and I saw the knot my jaw literally dropped open. Not only was the knot a rarity in itself, but the crisis that had somehow been avoided dumbfounded me. The baby had even been screaming before his tiny feet could emerge and presented with an Apgar of 8,9.

So like I said at the beginning.... drama, drama, drama!

On a personal happy note: I had learned how to start IVs back in Feb. during my surgery guardias and hadn't done it since. I mentioned this to one of the nurses and so she hooked me up. The patient I was given did not have any good visible veins, meaning there's an element of guessing that goes on, but I got it started without trouble on the first stick! The patient even said that I had a soft touch! Yay! for the random ego booster! After my success, one of the nurses exclaimed, "awwww, our little flowers are growing up!" I've been really lucky during my guardias to encounter nurses that are cool with teaching us doctors. Not all of them, but some of them have been really cool.

Hasta!

Yo estoy haciendo burbujas.

2011-05-30T18:50:00.002-05:00

There's so much to do these last two weeks of the semester that I can't seem to get anything done. Take this blog post for example. I opened up a 'new post' and put in the title, and then couldn't get any further for awhile. I started a load of laundry. Researched plane ticket possibilities from Salt Lake City or Las Vegas to Boston (update coming) and about a million other things. Not because I don't want to post, but because I would keep forgetting that I'd started and still needed to finish. My mind would jump to something else needing done, and I'd be momentarily sidetracked.
(confession: once I finally started the above first paragraph it took about 15 min. for me to actually finish it. I was lucky if I got two sentences put down together before getting up to do something else. open the window. check the laundry. go to the bathroom. get a drink. a friend notified me of pics on facebook that I had to go check. a friend skyped me...I had to reply. And now look at me, I can't even continue on with my blog post because I'm getting sidetracked by my sidetracktions.)

I joined a group of my classmates for a weekend in Puerto Vallarta this past weekend. I got to go for morning runs on the beach. play volleyball, futbol, and frisbee on the beach. climb rocks. swim out too far and then back again. watch the champions league championship. and then sometimes I'd go back to where my towel lay beside everyone else and enjoy the sun with the rest of them. And then to top it off, the humidity of the beach made GDL feel more comfortable for awhile upon our return.....but just a short while.

I started my Pediatric guardias at IMSS #110 today. honestly I was not looking forward to 12 hour shifts and having to miss the upcoming weekend in Ixtlan due to having to be at the IMSS. But everyone in peds that we've met so far have been real chill. It worried me at first because they were just letting us stand and watch. But I wasn't going to let that happen. and by the end of the day today I was handling the babies myself. :) There's 4 international and 3 latin students in peds at our hospital, so split up, I'm with Jenn for three days in the delivery rooms then we rotate through two other areas. A couple of years ago at our hospital a UAG student actually dropped a baby and it died so they've only recently started letting UAG students have hands on in the delivery room again. Gulp! No pressure!

Hasta!

Yo estoy una niña .

2011-05-24T16:47:00.004-05:00

So excited about my sticker. One of the Pediatricians that I am with while at HAL frequently gives us stickers. I want to be a Pediatrician so I can give out stickers all day long. One to the patient, one to me, one to the patient, one to me....sounds fair to me!!!

Two of my classmates that are in my particular group are named Brandon and Marlon. This same doctora really had trouble keeping the two separate, and often would mix their names up. Now in our 4th week with her I think she's finally got them straight. She calls them Brandon, and Marlon Brandon.

For another one of my classmates I want you to picture Leah Steidinger...and then take that times 2. And with that picture you might be coming close to the craziness and energy level of Belen. Don't get me wrong, this is a very good thing to have in your class. Just send Belen in first and, viola...ice broken. Belen wants to be a Psychiatrist, which we've all known since first semester. But as you can imagine, when some of our doctors discover this they find it a bit incredulous! For example, when one of our doctoras found out recently, although you could tell she tried to hold it in, she couldn't help it, and exclaimed "Como van a terminar los pacientes?!" (What's going to happen to the patients?!) Honestly, I couldn't answer that either! But in the meantime I have to admit, I appreciate her bubbly attitude. Especially now, as I've been noticing people are bit more on the grumpy side than normal.

Now in our 3rd to last week of the semester and there's talk that the administration is contemplating changing our 7th semester on us. GAAAAAAHHHHHHH! U. A. G.! (an excessive amount of frustrated emphasis was placed on each letter just then) I don't know why I am surprised. It's not like UAG has never taken our lives and shaken really really hard before, and of course no better timing than the last possible minute to do so! *Note sarcasm! If they up and decide to force us all back to HAL for 7th semester.....that will be soooo hard for me. I will not be happy.

Hasta!

Yo estoy viva.

2011-05-22T09:17:00.002-05:00

Well, Saturday came and past and we're all still here. No surprise. I guess Harold Camping missed the part in the Bible where it says 'when you least expect it!' (I'm paraphrasing). The first time I heard the prediction I paid it no mind. It wouldn't affect my future any. But the second time I actually thought about it, it went something like this...."but so many I know still aren't ready....there's still so many to share with.....I've still got so much work to do......panic.....panic!" I calmed down again. It wasn't going to be Saturday. But in reality, what's to stop Jesus from coming today...or tomorrow?

I came to Ixtlan this weekend. I washed up and packed up my microwave and brought it with me. Moving out is officially underway! I've already moved a few boxes of stuff over to the house. Had to stop because as I don't have much to start with I realized I couldn't move too much and still be able to live for the remaining 3 weeks in my apartment. The only item I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with is my fridge. I'd like to sell it, but am not a very good salesperson. I could just move it with me, but then that'd be the third fridge at the house. But maybe I'll ask my future housemates, they may want a third fridge. Who knows!?

By coming to Ixtlan this weekend, I missed the masquerade ball that was in GDL. I'm not gonna lie, I think a masquerade ball would be a blast. But I know that what I have in my head as a masquerade ball and what was actually reality probably didn't match up. So someday perhaps I can go to a real masquerade ball, not this time.

Hasta!

Yo estoy famosa.

2011-05-20T16:37:00.003-05:00

The other day one of my classmates came up to me and asked for my autograph!

Check this out!! It's what you get for being one of a very few white girls in the whole school!

http://www.uag.edu/medicine/
(just wait for it!)

And just in case being on the world wide web isn't enough, there's a paper form too.
http://www.uag.edu/medicine/catalog/#/Catalog%20in%20English/0
(check out page 18)

In the catalog, I know the majority of the students pictured. They basically asked for anyone not Mexican and said 'you're coming with me!' So in other words...it's false advertising at it's finest.

For the next while at least my face will be used to help recruit those unsuspecting into the world of UAG. I've got mixed feelings about that. I wouldn't give up my time at UAG for anything. By being here, the lessons God has taught me and the trials that He has brought me through and is still bringing me through have grown me, which I am extremely thankful for. But at the same time, it's hard and often, not much fun. How can I wish that on anyone else. Or worse yet, recruit anyone into that.

Today is Friday, and marks the end of yet another week. Meaning......only three more weeks of the semester! Seriously, I'm more excited about the diminishing number of weeks left than the fact that it's a Friday! Yay!

Jennifer and I have picked up another commuter to HAL these past couple of weeks, Hector. The other day nice and early, Hector plopped into my car, smirked at me, and said, "I'm being a rebel today!......I'm wearing black shoes!" I have to admit, I've rebelled my fair share too, and broken out a colored shirt to wear. Lately, it's been happening more frequently.....must be the end of the semester.

The other day all 8th semester students were gathering for class photos. They were all strutten' around in freshly pressed whites. And truely, if you take the time...it is possible for whites to look good, quite smashing even. And they had taken the time!

Hasta!

Yo estoy ordeñando una vaca.

2011-05-15T17:18:00.006-05:00

After our exam on Friday myself and 4 other friends left for Colima (a neighboring state). One of my friends' parents own a house there, Cofradia de Suchitlan is the small village. It was a higher elevation than GDL, and actually quite close to the active volcan de Colima (Colima volcano).

At night a thick fog descends and dampens everything. Really it makes everything peaceful. In the morning, before the fog completely dissipates and all you hear is nature, that peace is still there. Jennifer's parents have this house wanting to retire there one day. I didn't really understand why there exactly except that it was where her dad had grown up, but I understand why now.
These pictures are from the second floor balcony of the house. This is the green during the dry season. Hard to imagine the overflowing green of this place during the rainy season.

Vulcan de Colima

Our Group for the weekend: L to R: Belen, Jennifer, Me, Lety, Anjuli

The main reason that we all went this particular weekend was for a wedding of one of Jennifer's friends. So we all went, Jenn +4. Got my first experience as a wedding crasher, but as Mexican weddings are typically come one, come all, the more the merrier I suppose it doesn't really count. Notice in the above picture that everyone is my height or slightly taller......they were all in high heels ranging 3 in. to 5 in. and I was in flats. That picture would look soooo different had we been in flip flops.

As the wedding mass wasn't until 7:30 pm Saturday evening we all went to the beach during the day on Saturday. One of our Puerto Rican friends gave us the Top Secret Puerto Rican SunTan Oil recipe. Baby Oil + SunScreen + Coca-Cola. We tried it out. I didn't actually put any of it on. We had to guess on the ratios for the three ingredients, and I suppose we guessed wrong. It was a pretty painful night for some last night. As they are all Mexican I have no doubt that their redness will turn brown in a few days, and then, they'll say it was worth it. In the meantime, I think we'll try to get a more exact recipe. (beach pictures were taken by Jennifer and Anjuli, so I don't have any of them)

This morning before packing up and heading back we hiked to a nearby farm for our morning milk. Fresh and warm from the cow! Milked it myself! We added chocolate and whatnot, and it tasted like a hot chocolate! (cow pictures were taken by Anjuli...I'll get them later too!)

Hasta!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T10:24:00.002-05:00

I tried to cheat and find something online to post saying Happy Mother's Day, but the only thing I found that I thought fitting for my Mommy was the following.

Mothers are as total as the sky;
Older than the earth, and more enduring.
They're rooted in our hearts like ancient trees,
Halfway down to seething lava seas;
Emblazoned on our sail, and on our mooring.
Returning home, we dwell within their sigh:
So maddening, so rich, so reassuring.

So I figured it'd be better if I just said it myself. I LOVE YOU MOM!

Yo estoy explorando una nueva computadora.

2011-05-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

It happened. I wasn't ready for it, and it caught me by surprise. It was sooner than I was expecting it to happen, but it happened. My computer died. Got home from HAL today with grand plans to make progress on this pile of work I have in front of me. Turned on my computer to find it could barely even play a song, let alone access the internet. It sputtered and I commenced CPR. Continued CPR for about 4 hours all the way to the point where my computer took it's last breath and ceased to be an electronic device. dead, D E D, dead. Fit now only for paperweight or counter-clutterer. R.I.P. compu

Friends to the rescue!! This is how amazing some of the people in GDL are. I called one of my friends knowing she had two computers prepared to ask if I could possibly use one of them. Before I even got a chance to ask she had already offered me the use of it. So I guess for the next 5 weeks I'm going Mac....or at least attempting to. Maybe by the time the semester ends I'll have figured this thing out!

I guess I know what I'll be doing with my refunded Peru ticket!

Hasta!

Yo estoy bajando.

2011-05-04T22:35:00.003-05:00

*Note to readers: As my computer is slowly falling apart, it is no longer permitting me to post. Therefore it is possible that posts will come more than one at a time as I am still writing them and then eventually I borrow someone else's computer and post them all at the same time.

I am liking pediatrics so far. Let me explain why: The other day we had an 11 year old patient. We were talking with him, asking him questions, etc. Afterwards we asked him if he had any questions for us. With a pause and a "pues" he asked us what the difference was between light and electricity. haha hehe This kid was quick!! Thinking back I don't think we even actually answered his question. We were all too busy chuckling and trying to get back on topic.

When the semester started back in January, two of our Bible study members brought us the news that they had gotten engaged over the Christmas break. It was very exciting news! Our first engagement! Tonight at Bible study they had another bit of news for us! They'd gone to California over Spring Break and gotten married! In a year or so they hope to have the big formal wedding, but for now...Our first wedding! Their story is pretty exciting as they have no doubt God orchestrated to bring them together. Congratulations Lety and Matt! God's richest blessings on your life together!!!

Hasta!

Yo estoy arreglandolo.

2011-05-02T21:40:00.004-05:00

Home Sweet Home once again! But honestly I wasn't ready for Spring Break to be over. Can I have another vacation please?

We started Pediatrics today at 7 am. The posted schedule, though still confusing, was actually easier to figure out than the past rotations we've had. For some odd reason for my first two weeks even though i have space in my schedule for two hour blocks I'm only scheduled for one of the hours. And then get to sit around for the other hour. And then the second two weeks some of my hours are even doubly scheduled. So I get to sit around and do nothing, and then I get to be in two places at once. No worries, I'm Super-Girl! I gots this! But for today, I hadn't brought anything with me to study during my down hours, and then when one of my docters didn't even show.....I took off and skipped the rest of the day.

Changed my bed into its sheets. Too hot anymore for the flannel. I definitely prefer the heat to cold, but trying to study today without moving so as to generate the lest amount of heat possible, I wondered....I wondered if I could rearrainge my circadian rythym to sleep during the day and study through the night. It's just a thought....for now.

When I go for a run I'll intentionally start out with my mp3 player at about 1/2 volume and then periodically increase volume whenever I'm in need of a gear change throughout the run. But for the past couple of months I've had to start out with the volume already up at 100%. It worried me because as I like to listen to my music LOUD when I run, I didn't know if I was actually going deaf or if my technology was just getting old. I hoped for the second. While in TX these past weeks, Vero's brother, JJ got a really good deal on some new earphones. He then passed on the good deal to me. I am very happy to report that the volume hadn't even hit 100% by the time I finished my run this evening! I'm not going deaf after all! Yeah! *fist pump*

Hasta!

(The unanimous concensus on the topic of Peru was that Jenn and I should sue travelocity.com. What had transpired was so much more than a mere 'oops!' and when something is broken you don't put a band-aide on it and call it fixed.)

Yo estoy preparando.

2011-04-30T18:17:00.007-05:00

Last Monday we drove to the coast and spent 5 days on South Padre Island, TX.

Not sure what exactly I was trying to achieve here. Honestly, Vero probably just caught me mid dance move or something! Just don't ask me 'What dance?' cause I couldn't tell you.

I changed my profile picture on Facebook to this picture, and then spent about 15 minutes trying to think of the perfect caption for it, but sometimes words aren't enough, so I let the picture speak for itself.

We were attacked by 'The Birds'. No, just kidding, we were feeding the seagulls.

Vero and I are leaving tomorrow morning to return to GDL. I'm not looking forward to it. Starting Monday morning I'm going to have to start answering the dreaded question of 'How was Peru?' I would give a lot to be able to avoid that question...to just avoid the topic all-together.

Hasta!

Yo estoy brincando.

2011-04-25T09:48:00.008-05:00

I trust everyone had a blessed Easter.

I just have to share mine with you, for two reasons.

1) I woke up early and went to a sunrise service on a nearby golf course with Vero's parents. It was a collaborative service, so about 11 different pastors were there from a variety of denominations. One of them shared a short message about the women that had visited the tomb and found it empty. To us we don't have a question about that because we already know the end of the story. Jesus had risen and was alive. But these women, they were still confused and heartbroken over the happenings just three days earlier. The answer to their confusion was right in front of them but they couldn't understand it because they didn't know what they were looking at.

2) After I got back, I went with Vero to the Easter service at her grandparents church. Her grandparents attend the Spanish service at a Baptist church. I am in the US right now, but honestly whereever I go....I'm still the only white girl, good thing I'm used to it. I take that back....you sometimes see retirees here down from the North.

So how do they celebrate Easter here? Lots of eggs!!!

Here's a closer look!

The majority of these eggs are filled with confetti. Some you can find with candies or money, but the majority...confetti. So once everyone has scrambled and filled their bag full of eggs all the cracking begins. Hundreds of eggs get cracked releasing their confetti contents all over the heads of their victims. It's actually pretty funny; when one of the small children would run at an adult egg in hand gleefully laughing, the adult just bends over so the child can reach their head and hopes that they get hit by the side of the egg that smashes easiest. Everyone got egged...it was unavoidable. Here's Vero post-egging.

But it didn't stop there. We made some special eggs. Here I am after emptying some of the eggs of their confetti, and refilling them with flour.

Once the egg hunt had simmered down and attention had turned to the piñata the hidden flour-filled eggs emerged. And garuanteed you're probably already sweaty so any flour and you're colored white. But just in case, sometimes water balloons were used first...just to make sure the flour would stick! ;) Poor Vero got it good!

There were lots of games played, the pool was swam in, more water balloons tossed. In the end, I'll never forget my Easter this year. It was the opposite of ordinary. It was loud, and long, and messy, and wet, and flat out exhausting. But don't get me wrong, all of those adjectives are used in a positive sense. It was basically 8 hours of straight laughter!

Hasta!

How to Heal a Broken Heart

2011-04-23T19:54:00.013-05:00

Within the few following hours upon arriving back in GDL (4am last Sunday morning, the 17th) both Jennifer and I had already found a way out and had fled GDL once again. We didn't have to say anything to each other, we both knew and understood that we were feeling the same. GDL was the last place on Earth either of us wanted to be right then. As for me, I'd had plans to visit Texas with my friend Veronica (Vero) and as she was a-okay with moving up those plans, we were soon both on board an overnight bus to the border. We walked across the border late Monday morning and here in South Texas is where I've undertaken the task of acceptance and moving on.

Through extensive research (shout-out to Google.com) and the help of friends I thought I'd share my progress with you all!

1) As happy thoughts don't come as readily as normal, a facilitator of happy thoughts was used as intervention. In my case, Chocolate

OK...Lots of Chocolate.

2) A pedicure was suggested and I figured it works for the rest of young adult America so why not.

3) Coffee: Not exactly sure why this one was recommended, but at least it helps me study in the mornings. I'd have taken a picture of myself with my coffee, but as I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep lately I doubt my eyes would have been that open.

4) Shopping: It was easy to convince my friends to help me with this one! ;)

5) Relaxing: So easy to do when there's a pool in the back yard!

6) Read a book: Suggested to keep the mind occupied. Although the free reading book that I brought is about princesses and goblins, I typically find myself grabbing my study book when I've got some down time to read. USMLE trumps princesses and goblins.

7) Regular socializing and exercising! This suggestion I've got covered!! I don't have an accompanying photo because I figured if you really want to see people socializing you can google images. And as for the exercising...let's just say that the heat plus the humidity of the valley equals one very sweaty girl. For example, we played basketball until 1 am the other night and when we were done you couldn't have told the difference between that and if I had flat out jumped in the pool. So regular socializing (check) and exercising (check) but I'll spare you the pictures of said checks.

8) Smile & Laugh: In other words focus on what's good in life. It seems the littlest thing reminds me of Peru and with each reminder I have to work my way back to reality. Start with the smile and soon enough I'm laughing again. I am so thankful that the smiling and laughing are so easy to achieve here. The below picture was a random photo I found on my camera. Where we are at(Donna, TX) is right by McAllen, TX... in other words, about 15 minutes from the border. So we had taken a short trip across the border and Vero had been messing around with my camera on the way back. I figured that in this instance a random snapshot is better proof that I can still smile than something posed.

So far I'd have to conclude that the afore mentioned steps have succeeded in securing the pieces of my heart into a shape somewhat resembling .... a heart. Slightly overly dramatic?.... perhaps ;)
Hasta!

Yo estoy acongojada.

2011-04-17T10:32:00.003-05:00

Before I left for my trip to Peru I sent an email to the Bible study challenging them to allow God to use them this Spring Break. Writing that at the time I did not know how much it could hurt. Jennifer and I are heartbroken. It was not our fault, and we tried everything we could, but we were not able to make it to Peru.

Last night on the bus ride back to GDL, the closer we got to GDL, the further we got from Peru, the more and more it hurt.

"Remember that time......that time we almost went to Peru?" - Jennifer Gonzalez

Yo estoy contando las horas.

2011-04-15T16:09:00.006-05:00

tick tock bom bom bom

This week was one of those weeks. One of those weeks were you have to remember to schedule time to remind yourself to breathe. Gotta do this. Gotta go here. And of course Mexico doesn't help with any of this process. Get a request from this office. Pay a bill at this office. Take receipt to this office. etc... oh well...

Finished OB/GYN learned a lot and enjoyed my last week the most. Had the most hands on then. Delivered a total of three beautiful babies; it would have been four but we ended up taking the last one into emergency c-section. However, even after this last week I can't say that it changed how I feel about the specialty in general. Unfortunately, it's gonna have to go down as a no.

I just got back from completing and then sending off another elective application. The FedEx guy recognized me from the last time. I was like, yup...another for the United States! The particular FedEx office that was pointed out to me, and hence the one I use only has overnight shipping and therefore is expensive. But at the same time I like knowing my papers are getting there quick. And honestly, for this particular application, they need to get there quick.

One of the requirements for this particular application was a telephone interview to test my English proficiency. Easiest interview ever hands down. I called in and about 1.5 minutes into the conversation the lady exempted me from the entire interview. Said my English skills were satisfactory! Oh Yeah Baby! Hey, don't blame me... I take my ego boosters whereever I can get'em. However, there is one thing I just don't get. This occurred.
Lady: What school do you go to?
Me: Universidad Autonoma de Guadalajara
...awkward silence...
Me: It's in Guadalajara, Mexico
Lady: Oh ok....(continues conversation)
She knew I was an international student. What did she expect?

Another thing about being a foreign student that isn't berries and cherries...translations. For example: order my transcript - 28 dollars; get my transcript translated - 50 dollars. sheesh!

A group my classmates and I were discussing and asking advice about 4th and 5th years from a current 8th semester a few nights ago. It was the first time I've actually spent some thought on my fifth year in New York. I've only always said it or thought about it in passing and moved on to the next topic. We went over some of the hospital options available to us in New York and Yonkers was mentioned. I already know I couldn't go to Yonkers. I can't even say the name without thinking of Cornelius and Barnaby. If I were actually living there I would probably be turning every corner hoping I'd see Vandergelder's Hay & Feed. I'd be in the loony bin quicker than you can say 'stuffed whale.' But as this will be after we're done here....I've still got some time. Heat's down low on this one for now, won't boil for awhile; got other pots to attend to first.

So I guess I'm on Spring Break now! Finally! Not really a fan of Easter being so late this year. But in other words, this means that the weeks and then the days that I've been counting down are now down to mere hours! Yep, HOURS FOLKS!

Off to see the world I am! Peace!

Hasta!

P.S. In 2007, was announced as one of the New Seven Wonders of the World!

Yo estoy guau!

2011-04-10T21:28:00.004-05:00

My first day in 'toco' and I already got to attend for my first birth. It was Wow! I ended up completely covered in "baby" and did not even notice. It was an absolute miracle what transpired in the 5 seconds between the time that the baby was inside its mom to the point that it was in my arms. Only a Masterful Creator could design something so beautiful...correction, The Masterful Creator!

Yo estoy jugando con patitos.

2011-04-09T19:52:00.002-05:00

This post has been on hold for a couple of weeks. I didn't want to post and then have my opinion change nullifying everything I'd just written. I still have one more week of OB/GYN and even though I'll finally be hands on with labor and delivery I feel confident enough that my opinion won't change and therefore am finally posting.

I was excited to start this OB/GYN rotation, but it didn't take long, in fact it was still the first week of the rotation, and I was feeling.....let's say disappointed. As if OB/GYN had let me down. I'd had my hopes up that this was going to be a great and exciting rotation and reality was falling short. I did realize that this disappointment could be from the initial friction I got from the OB/GYN doctors at HAL so decided to wait it out. Guardias would have to be the ultimate deciding factor. I'm halfway through guardias and that feeling of disappointment hasn't changed. I wanted to like OB/GYN. It's the only area that someone has requested that I enter. So I wanted to like it for them; plus, it made sense. I could combine OB with Family Practice or something like that. But ultimately, at the end of the day, I go home having loved my work, but never once being excited about it.

Hasta!

ONE WEEK!!!!

Ok, so I just got off the phone with my classmate who just finished her first shift in labor delivery and her first words were "Christy, you're going to love it!"
So in other words, perhaps I still spoke too early, but we'll see. I'm so ready to get there tomorrow and get my hands dirty!

Yo estoy cazando canguros.

2011-04-03T17:40:00.002-05:00

Got my first mosquito bite of the year this weekend.

For some reason Jan has decided to teach me yeast breads, more specifically yeast rolls. I've helped her in the past and she had me write the recipe down. Upon arrival this weekend she thought it was time I made the rolls on my own. Hey! at least that means I get to eat them too!

Wasn't sure how Saturday night volleyball was going to turn out this weekend due to a smaller crowd but God had anticipated that and a handful of kids wandered into the area. So we got to teach some volleyball as well as play!

The babies among the Ixtlan congregation are all just over a year now. They are all starting to walk and discover the full extent of their vocal cords. One of them, the oldest, is even starting to do the motions to the kid's songs we sing every Sunday morning. Of course when pointing to his ears he missed and hit his temples instead, but that just made it so much more adorable.

Hasta!

Yo estoy preparando.

2011-04-01T11:06:00.004-06:00

Rather exhausting week! But the first stone has been slung. I give myself all the pep talks, but can't bring myself to fully believe them yet. some day, some day perhaps. At times like this, my life needs to be a musical, and right about now ABBA would break out in "Take a Chance on Me!"

I randomly ran into Rosa yesterday. (Rosa is who I stayed with first semester.) She said she had some letters for me so I stopped by. She had a handful of letters for me that she'd saved over the past 2 1/2 years. Really cool of her to save them for me. So in other words, I finally received the David & Tara's wedding invitation. (I hope you guys had a wonderful 1 year anniversary!) The majority of the letters were from Betty K. They were a bit difficult to read especially since I read them in chronological order. Considering these new letters, I did not write her enough, and they made me really want to write her right then. :(

Today marked our end of our OB/GYN time at HAL. Starting Monday we split up. Some of my friends are even going to Puerta Vallarta to do their two weeks of OB/GYN guardias there. We had the guardia picking this past Monday. There were only 4 spots available at the IMSS (#89) that I wanted and I got one of them!!! Excited about that. Apparently quite a few people had 89 as their #1 choice so I jokingly got blamed for taking their spot from them.

Today Jennifer and I excitedly went on a shopping trip for Peru! Store after store we emerged empty handed. We racked our brains for any shopping site that could possibly carry the items we were looking for, tried them all, and came up with nothing. Thankfully while we were out we were able to take care of some errands for a friend's birthday we are celebrating tonight. If not for those errands, our 3 1/2 hours of effort would have been for nothing.

Hasta!
14 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo estoy luchando.

2011-03-26T18:17:00.002-06:00

I didn't venture over to Ixtlan to join in the party happening there this weekend. And by 'party' I'm refering to the eye-glasses clinic that is finishing up their week there. Rather I have stayed in GDL and am creating my own party, and boy have I partied!!!!! As much as I enjoy waking up on my own on Saturdays I set my alarm this time and two classmates (Anjuli and Belen) and I got into our whites and headed downtown to the Civil Hospital (Hospital Civil de Guadalajara). It's the oldest hospital in GDL and actually was originally a convent. No one told us to go, nor had anyone told us to come. We just figured we'd show up and then go from there. To our thankful delight, as we were walking up to the entrance, walking out of that same entrance was one of the surgical residents Anjuli and I had become acquainted with while doing our Surgery Guardias at the IMSS #46. We had our in. I am unbelievably excited at the prospect of getting more surgical experience. Seriously, I'd totally skip HAL next week for Hospital Civil, but I've got a bunch of extra hours scheduled that wouldn't be in my better interest to skip.

The civil hospital is right next to the University of Guadalajara (UdeG) School of Medicine and therefore us as UAG (Autonomous University of Guadalajara) students never really get placements there. That doesn't stop us!! hehe! One of the surgical residents there, a graduate of UdeG, is my age, already a resident, and his entire schooling to this point = $1,000. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I now am bald having just pulled out all my hair in frustration and exasperation!

One of the items on my 'to do' list this weekend is to finally complete an acceptable CV. A CV is basically a type of resume. This particular item has been on said 'to do' list since January. I can just never bring myself to actually do it. It is a fact that I am not the smartest, not the most experienced, not the most personable, in short, I have nothing to put on this CV to recommend me as an ideal candidate to get me back into the States. Not having this in writing helps me to look over these facts and believe that it's all in God's hands. But to have Goliath written down in black ink on white paper staring back at me......
It would be encouraging to me if perhaps David had paused when he actually saw Goliath face to face out on the battle field, but he didn't. And now Satan tells me I'm a failure because I do pause, that I allow my own insecurities to cause me to doubt even for a second.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

As a David facing Goliath I will release this stone knowing that when it lands it has hit it's mark not because of the hand that released it but because of the grace of Jesus that guided it.

Hasta!

Yo estoy soñando.

2011-03-22T23:43:00.004-06:00

We had a three day weekend this past weekend due to Monday being a holiday. Mexico was either celebrating their Pemex requisition holiday or the First Day of Spring. I heard both and as it doesn't take much for Mexico to declare a day a holiday, both are believable. Thankfully I was able to pass the extended time in Ixtlan. It's really nice to not have to pack up and head back to GDL after lunch on Sunday, but rather move as slowly as I like. (Moving slowly helps prevent sweating anyways!) After eating I was reading and decided I should connect to the world so moved to my room to turn on my computer and got sidetracked by the bed instead. Sigh! Lazy Sunday afternoons! Que Nice!

After the singing Sunday evening Regg, Bev and I rolled up our sleeves and made an attempt at being Mexican. We literally filled their kitchen with our endeavor to make buñuelos. We started out a bit rocky, but soon got the hang of it, and all in all the night ended successfully!
Don't know what a buñuelo is? See picture below.

Not sure how to react? Be impressed! ;)

When I had told Jan that I was going to be staying until Monday her face lit up! Me staying ment extra hands to help clean in preparation for the team of 14 coming for the eye-glasses clinic that is underway this week. I have to admit I did laugh to myself at Jan's reaction, but in all honesty I am happy to be able to help considering all that they do for me. So come Monday morning I found myself fighting scorpions and spiders, choking through dust inhalation, suffering from various pinched fingers and definitly, definitly earning broom conductor of the year award! Well, those might have been slight exaggerations, but in the end it didn't take us too long to finish and Jan got that look on her face when she's ahead of schedule and is now trying to figure out what she can do next.

Hasta!

Yo estoy boxeando.

2011-03-19T14:38:00.002-06:00

Another week, which you can't make me believe otherwise, but it definitely went by faster than the last couple of weeks. We had an exam over our Obstetrics material on Friday; I guess come Tuesday we'll find out if it was possible to learn all there is to know about Obstetrics in just two weeks. I'm not sure...but I'm gonna go with Not possible.

Instead of heading to Ixtlan after the test on Friday like I have been doing lately I decided to stay in GDL and get some chores done. a.k.a. cleaning. It's amazing how lovely one's apartment can become when you combine dry weather with prolonged neglect. Really! Quite lovely!

I randomly joined some friends in a boxing class at the gym this past Tuesday. I didn't know what to expect, but I was thankful I wasn't the only one there who'd never wore boxing gloves before. The instructor was great at starting at the beginning for us beginners but still helping those more advanced. He kept laughing at me because I couldn't get the pivot with my right foot right. I'd try to concentrate on it, but inevitably I would still be doing it wrong. Typically instead of a simple pivot it'd end up being some sort of a kick. In my defense it's hard to not look like you're dancing when you're constantly bouncing back and forth. My favorite part of the class was the rotation in which the instructor (or someone) would have pads on their hands and you'd punch into their hands. The instructor set up a combo of punches and ducks and at the end of the rotation he told me to just keep repeating the combo yelling at me harder! harder!! harder!!! I think my lack of upper-body strength was made quite evident. In the end, boxing is amazing cardio, and boxing does for your arms what running does for your legs. The entire length of my arms were sore, even my hands, all the way down to and including my knuckles as well as my back. This boxing class made me for the first time actually recognize a desire to have a regular pass to the gym. I would box every day if I could!

Bible study this past week was given by Hector. I am always impressed by my friends when they share. It allows them to investigate their own questions, which they have been unable to ask out loud or perhaps have not been able to put into words. Often I receive comments from those attending such as "I feel like each Bible study is directed at me!" "Did you know I needed that?" (refering to a certain message, etc)The response they always receive always points them back to the Holy Spirit. There is absolutely no credit that I can take for anything. From day one this Bible study has been God's. He has caused it to stay through the tough times. He is the reason it has grown. If left in my hands alone it would have crashed and burned long ago. It gives me joy to notice that they are picking up on and sometimes even beating me to the response. "I know, I know....God knew I needed it!" This past week Hector's Bible study covered a topic that Satan had been dishing into my face regularly the days prior. It kind of caught me by surprise. Sometimes it is good to just listen to the Word.

Hasta!

Yo estoy recordando a respirar.

2011-03-13T20:29:00.005-06:00

So Jennifer and I got a scare the other day concerning our trip to Peru. While we were at HAL Jennifer noticed she had received an email from the guy that is organizing our hike for us basically saying. 'Ooops! I sent you guys the wrong confirmation.' First thing on our list when we got home that day was to call and figure out what oops meant. Apparently, he had sent us the wrong start day. Thankfully new arrangements could be made and so our trip to Peru is going to go as follows. We leave Saturday from Mexico and after 24 hours of travelling we arrive in Cusco, Peru. We will be met at the airport by someone from the hike and start up the mountain! This senario = recipe for altitude sickness.....either that or we'll flat pass out and have to be carried up to Machu Pichu.

I stayed in GDL this weekend. And on my schedule was a BBQ at a classmates house. The above and below are pictures of Yours Truely gettin down to some Micheal Jackson 'The Experience'.

I saw on my calendar that US had daylight savings time this weekend and I still tuned into the morning service at 9:55 (my time) and wondered why Steve had started so early.

I got to run both days this weekend. Saturday was the first time I'd run at Colomos probably since November. And then Sunday I ran with a buddy at another large park here in GDL, Parque Metropolitano. The paths there are much flatter, but as it was my first time running there they proved to be a bit confusing. There were four different paths that all overlapped, so you can imagine. It really makes me so happy to see all the other people there making their ways around the paths. They are all different ages, shapes, sizes and sometimes I just want to stop each one and hug them and tell them Thank You. Thank you for caring enough about your body to exercise. My favorite is the 4 foot tall grandma whose small steps take at least 2 if not 3 to equal one of mine, but her arms are pumping and she's determined. I just want to squeeze her!

Hasta!

Yo estoy fea.

2011-03-10T20:20:00.002-06:00

Well the week has progressed and needless-to-say I fear I started out OB/GYN on my third left foot, or maybe it was right....but either way it was The Wrong Foot. Picture an obese, Anthony Hopkins looking Cuban. Got that? He's one of the OB/GYN doctors here at UAG. Tuesday in our lecture (so in front of all 50 some Internationals and 100 or so Latins) he called me ugly. Then today again in the lecture he made fun of my hair and then not so subtly let it be known that I am dumb. On top of embarrassment I was mad, and the combination caused such a dramatic increase in perfusion to my head that I could feel my scalp start to prickle. My goal for OB/GYN now is to survive with at least a shred of self-esteem intact.

It didn't help that today when I got home I bought a plane ticket home for the summer. And just as I pushed purchase I realized I was buying a ticket for the wrong day. Perhaps the doctor is right after-all. It'll be awhile before I can stop beating myself up over that one at least.

For another interesting OB/GYN doctor found here at UAG you need to picture British looking from the front and German looking from profile. Make sure you add in a white mustache. Now let me relay some of his dialogue from lecture the other day.
Doc: "Touch your nose. Now touch your ear lobe. Your nose is not pregnant. Your ear is pregnant."
Like I said...interesting. Where he gets his odd analogies I have no idea, but at least I'll forever remember that I have pregnant ears.

We had a group of 11 for Bible study last night. I'm not sure if that's a record or not, but it has definitely been the most we've had in over a year. In fact, since the beginning of the semester there's been at least 7 every Wednesday. It's become a joke amongst the study that we need to have a dry erase board to write all the verses down on. Some weeks are better than others, but sometimes, on those 'other' weeks, we'll move on to the next verse and before everyone has found it, the book, chapter, and verse(s) have all been repeated at least 8 times. That's another thing that AC upbringing has given me; I'm the only one at the studies that know the books of the Bible and where to find them. Some have the Bible on their iphones, so with a few touches of their screen they're at the right place. I wish I could make it easier on those who have to search as I can tell they eventually start to get a little bit frustrated. But as our studies are a mixture of Catholic and various Christian denominations, we have to focus on God's Word and Jesus is our unifying factor, and therefore searching through the Bible for each verse is unavoidable. Also because Bible studies are never actually finished early enough to send out so that the group could print out the verses ahead of time. But I figure that with enough searching, they'll start to get general ideas of where the main books are and from there it'll get easier for them. If not we'll just continue to wait for everyone.

Hasta!

Yo estoy atrapando todo.

2011-03-07T21:04:00.006-06:00

I have a feeling this post is going to end up being sort of a catch-all...I have this feeling because I'm starting out with that goal in mind. You know, when you talk about everything and nothing at the same time, and then throw in a picture and call it a blog post. That's a catch-all.

Here's a picture of a Guadalajara sunrise from piso 11 (12th floor) of the IMSS I was at for my surgical guardia. To the West of the building the city is a lot more interesting, and I was going to take a picture of the setting sun in that direction, but forgot.

Here's a picture of Anjuli, Jennifer and I leaving the IMSS on our last day. I guess technically we were there the following two days also, but didn't actually do anything on those days.

We started back at HAL today, and it was harder than I was expecting. As much as I dislike complaining no matter how justified it is, I caught myself today on a couple of occasions complaining. And to make it worse it was that pointless whiney kind of complaining. I got so frustrated with myself. Had to resort to chastising myself in the third person. (kind of like Marshall does when he knows he made a silly mistake while playing volleyball). So as much as I want to continue whinning, as I'm just writing it and no one is actually listening to me, I'm not going to let myself. Life is so much more enjoyable without focusing on what Satan would rather have me pay mind to. And who knows what opportunities I'd miss for Jesus by allowing myself to be bothered.

This past weekend Regg and Bev had visitors in Ixtlan so I got to pretend that I had visitors too. (Like I've said before, imagination comes in handy!) I'd sit in on their kitchen conversations, couldn't really participate, but loved it nonetheless. Just listening to AC conversation like that I felt like Oliver Twist..."please sir, could I have some more?" The focus on family/brotherhood/unity that the AC church has in place is, in my opinion, one of it's principal praiseworthy strengths. It also didn't hurt that everyone was quite humorous and it was so easy to laugh along with them.

I stayed late in Ixtlan Sunday and starting out on my way back home had the intention of seeing if I could make a new record, but by the time I hit La Barca I'd already forgotten what starting time I had taken note of, so the intention kind of got forgotten too. I entertained myself singing along with my music. And as the subject of videoing late night drives had been discussed over the weekend I couldn't resist getting out my camera. I've videoed my late night drives before, but never shared them. As they are probably only interesting to me I won't embed them but if you're bored here's the links and you can check them out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsY9ZTsqSmc
This is when I'm entering the city. At the very beginning I'm actually trying to get the stone BIENVENIDO welcome statue in the camera, but focusing on that I forgot that the road turned so at 10 seconds the camera goes crazy as I'm trying to keep my car on the road. See how much I love you guys. I knew the statue wasn't lit up and probably wouldn't be visible in the video but I tried to get it in anyways to the point of sacrificing my poor car. And in the end you don't see the bienvenido anyways.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf05XB9OzUI
This is in the city and actually contains some of my favorite parts of my route through GDL. The blue bridge has just recently been finished. I have to say well done GDL for that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhfSEcOKmOI
Home again! Home again! Jiggity Jig! probably the most boring of all three, but hey, if you're even watching them you were bored in the first place, so enjoy!

Hasta!

P.S. I totally wanted to use catchear in the title of this post and then rethought it....I probably should have just gone with it anyways, evidence of how I live my life in Spanglish.

Yo estoy bailando.

2011-03-05T10:36:00.002-06:00

In Ixtlan for the weekend. Trying to catch up on a few non-medical related things. Ready to start in on another blog post. I've got music in my ears, and my feet are kind of itchy. Really itchy. I think they want to dance. I wonder if Jan would join me if I asked her. Ok, she just got up from her spot on the couch and left....she must have known what I was contemplating! ;) No, just kidding, I would never scare Jan like that.

Our surgery rotation ended yesterday with our final exam. It was good to see all of my classmates again after 4 weeks of not seeing them. Some brought good stories of their guardias and some not so good stories. It was hard listening to those that didn't enjoy their guardia as I loved it and could not empathize with them. Even though I got stuck with a doctor I really didn't like, when I think of my experiences he doesn't even make the list. I can say that since I didn't particularly enjoy being with him, I would use every excuse possible to not be with him, to the point where this past week the only time I was actually with him was during his morning rounds. I'm sad to have to leave Surgery, but am really excited to start Gynecology and Obstetrics on Monday!

Do you like jello? I know someone who loves jello. More specifically, Jennifer loves milk jello. Gelatins are commonly seen in Mexico, sold on the streets and little stores. During our 4 weeks of guardias she got both Anjuli and I addicted to jellos too. We each have our preference. Jennifer pure milk jellos, I like the mosaic jellos (milk jellos with cubes of colored water jello mixed in), and Anjuli prefered the jellos made with yogurt. It got to the point where when we'd come up from whatever surgeries we were in for the day we'd have to have a jello. In general one of us didn't have surgeries scheduled for the day and would have already bought the jellos for the day ready and waiting to be eaten by the other two when they came up.
of course...it's not really jello, it's cat brains with food coloring!

The sun is really getting hot now. Stay in it for too long and you'll emerge quite pink. It makes it really nice to wake up in the mornings though, as it has cooled down during the night and it feels really fresh in the mornings. I took the extra blanket off my bed weeks ago. The other day I was sitting in my apartment comfortably in a T-shirt. I've even stopped opening my windows during the day to keep the coolness in. I thought about that the other day and chuckled as going from outside to inside it almost feels like I have air conditioning. (My imagination comes in handy at times!)
I have avoided talking about weather the past months because I didn't want to jinx it, or rejoice prematurely. But as it is now March, and getting even hotter, I finally feel at liberty to be happy. I had come back to Mexico in January with scarves and hats, ready for the rest of winter in GDL. This year I am so thankful to report that it was nothing like it was last year. We had no freezing temperatures, no days of constant cloud cover or worse of constant rain as we did last year. I ended up not even using the scarf and hats that I brought; though I did still use the gloves quite a bit. Last year it was April before I felt warm again. I am so incredibly thankful that is not the case this year.

Anybody want to dance?
Hasta!

Yo estoy preocupada

2011-03-01T21:18:00.004-06:00

I haven't had internet in about a week. My neighbor with whom I share has been gone so really I couldn't knock on her door and ask what was up. Today I finally called my landlord and explained. My neighbor is actually his daughter so i decided asking him to come and check on the router wasn't too invasive as he's been stopping by to feed her dogs and whatnot. I don't know what we did, but with a bit of playing with wires and some stareing at blinking lights my computer connected once again. So thankful.

It's been frustrating having so many stories to tell and no means of typing them into this captive receptical of information. I guess I underestimated the amount of intelligence harbored by the internet. It decided my hair was not story worthy and I needed to be cut off before I went on tangents about toe nails or something!!

I'm finishing up my guardia hours this week at the IMSS. Today was technically my last day and as proof that 4 weeks hasn't been enough, I was still learning new things today too. In summary of these 4 weeks: Sophmore year of high school, surgery was the reason that I started walking in the direction of doctor. Then after a drawn out episode in undergrad when I was fainting in consult (forget about staying upright through a surgery) As much as I didn't want to, I had to finally admit that perhaps I couldn't be a surgeon afterall. These past 4 weeks I feel like I did back in 2002. As cheesy as it sounds, kind of like God gave me back my first love.
In addition, over these past 4 weeks I have seen certain traits in myself as a doctor that surprise me. Traits concerning what aspects of "doctor" that I prefer; those I enjoy more; those I prefer here in Mexico as opposed to the US and vice versa. Honestly, I think that surgery just made obvious some traits that I hadn't really paid attention to before. Some good traits, but some have me a bit worried.

Hasta!

Yo estoy pelechando.

2011-02-22T21:42:00.004-06:00

I have always had a problem with excessive hair loss, that is up until about 4-5 months ago. At first I thought something was wrong that I'd pick through my hair and not have hair filling the pick. Then I decided to stop wondering about it and simply enjoy Not losing my hair for once.
Ever since I've started this surgery rotation at the IMSS my hair has been coming out in massive clumps (slight exaggeration)! Today I looked at the immense mess of hair in my bathroom waste basket and could not ignore it anymore, and after pondering multiple possibilities I've finally decided I'd go with the following explanation.
Ever since I started at the IMSS I've been hot all day long, sweating, and pretty sure everyone else there doesn't know that I can actually not look red. It's worst in the operating rooms when you start to feel the beads of sweat snake down your skin and you can't do anything about it. I think I am begining to understand how a dog feels when it warms up and they shed their winter coat......I can't believe I just likened myself to a dog! But basically due to the co-inciding time lines of the two, I've concluded that my recent hair loss is due to recent climate. I'M MOLTING!!!!! I'M MOLTING!!!!!! Yes, I just said that in a Wicked Witch of the West voice.....and yes, I just realized that shedding would have been more appropriate, but molting rhymed.

I've been put back into General Surgery for the remainder of my time at IMSS. I shouldn't complain, because if I end up going into surgery, it's most likely to be general. But for that very same reason I had wanted to be in a specialty such as pediatric surgery, angio surgery, hey I would have even taken procto surgery. But like I said I shouldn't complain, I'm sure I'll still learn a lot. I'm a little indecisive about the new doctor that I'm with. Yesterday I ping ponged from "ummm, I don't think I'm going to like him" to "hmm, maybe he'll be ok after all" back to "nope, definitely don't like this guy." He did something really.....not cool, just so that he could show off. Me = not impressed! On the other hand, his resident actually looked and acknowledged me today! This is a big improvement!

On a tangent about proctology. I heard the other day what I believe to be one of the most genious nicknames I've ever come across. The procto intern was called Frodo by his fellow interns. I still chuckle when I think of the creative reasoning behind it.

Hasta!

Yo estoy chill.

2011-02-20T20:23:00.002-06:00

I have to say that my level of excitment last Wednesday got a bit deflated as Thursday and then Friday went by much slower than the beginning of my week. I was kind of stuck in a corner. I wasn't able to enter the surgeries, which is what I am most bummed about. I tried to tag along with my interns to learn from them, but that only worked about 50% of the time. I've always got a book with me, so I could at least study if I really couldn't busy myself with something else.

On one occasion I went with my intern to take one of our patients for an opthalmic interconsult. While waiting the intern disappeared saying she'd be back in 15-20 minutes. 35 minutes later the consult was over and she wasn't back, so I headed off with the patient back to our floor. None of the elevators were working, so after about 12 minutes of waiting for one I got us squeezed onto one of the surgical ones. The workers that we shared the elevator with just laughed at our situation and said, "Welcome to IMSS." After leaving the patient at her room and discussing with the family I let one of the workers take her wheelchair, as I had assumed that it had been borrowed from them anyways. Two minutes later my intern finally reapeared, and unfortunately I had assumed wrong. The wheelchair had been borrowed from a specific individual. She and I then commenced a 12 floor search for a wheelchair! We finally found it way down on the ground floor, down a hallway, through a small room that led to another room. *Note to self: always know where your wheelchair has come from!

Something of interest that I have observed at the IMSS. Everyone types with their index fingers. The doctors, the residents, the interns. Thinking about it, I'm not too surprised. I'm sure the majority learned to type on a typewriter. On the surgical floor there is one computer, and five typewriters. In addition, not all schools here in Mexico even have computers yet, let alone typing classes.

As Anjuli, Jennifer and I were scheduled to stay late for our guardia on Friday it meant that we had the whole weekend off! Very exciting! I was very content to go to Ixtlan and enjoy our church family there for a weekend! Now I'm back in GDL again trying to convince myself to relax and enjoy being on the brink of another week! It's working....somewhat ;)

Hasta!

Yo estoy sana.

2011-02-16T15:52:00.002-06:00

I investigated at the lab today for the results of the viral panel of the patient I got too close to the other day. When I asked at the lab if the results were ready the lady at the computer typed in the information then after staring at her screen turned to the other lady and said, "ummmmm, it's green!" The other lady then got a weird look on her face and started searching her own computer. I was like...whoa, whoa, whoa ladies...What's green mean?...what's going on?....What's the results?...Is green bad?!?!?!?! In the end the panel was negative for any of the tested antibodies. In other words, I do not have HIV. whewww! I'm safe....for now.

The IMSS hospital that I am currently at is 13 stories. The surgical floor is #12. Guess where the operating rooms are....Floor #2. As one elevator is currently not working there's a grand total of 2 small elevators serving all 12 floors, and as an IMSS it serves thousands. In other words good luck catching/fitting on the elevator any time soon. However as we are 10 floors away from the operating room going down and up is a necessary evil. I try to take the stairs. I try to go as gracefully as possible to prevent any unnecessary panting and wheezing, a.k.a. attract any attention. Doesn't exactly work, but oh well. Passing floors 3, 4, & 5 are the worst because I'm already tired and yet still have more than halfway to go!

This week I have been placed with the oncologist surgeon. The Doctor in the morning is an interesting character. He doesn't exactly ignore me, but tries to pretend I'm not there. He gets really excited about his surgeries though. There's been a lot more blood involved in these surgeries. I helped with some skin excisions on an English speaking lady (originally from Massachusetts). The one on top of her head....looked like she had a sprinkler spouting. I took her specimens to path, and then got to take her the good news and in English no less! That was fun! Today I scrubbed in on an exploratory surgery of the neck. The surgeon and resident had a bit of trouble once the jugular was hit at getting it under control again. I tell ya what....it was right in there between ouch! and boinnngggggg!

I still get excited that I'm not getting lightheaded during any of this! I'm finally loving surgery! It's soooo much better outside the classroom!

Hasta!

Yo estoy enamorada! ;)

2011-02-14T16:40:00.001-06:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

If you couldn't tell yet, I really like Valentine's Day and collected a variety of pictures to share with you. I would like to include one more video. We have all been fashioned in a way that we need to be loved. And how incredibly blessed we are to be offered the love of the Author of Love Himself. A Father in Heaven that will hold us close and whisper I Love You whenever we dare to listen.

I Love you All! Blessings, Christy

Yo estoy lista!

2011-02-13T23:02:00.003-06:00

Anjuli had the brillant idea Friday to ask if we could move our Saturday guardia hours to Friday night. We got approved for Friday night so after a few hours off we were back at the IMSS by 7:00pm ready to hold down the fort for the night. Maybe a little too ready. One of the interns actually told us to sit down and calm down...we were making her nervous with all of our bustling about and asking to help. :/ All in all nights really aren't bad. Let's just say you get the most random and interesting surgeries at 1:30 am. And if there's some down time no one blames you for trying to get some sleep. I got about 1 1/2 hours spread across four chairs using a folded scrub top as a pillow. Early morning one of the interns told me to get updates on some of the patients. I checked on them and then returned to report that they were all asleep to which he replyed 'get the updates anyways.' Argh! I was thankful to discover that each would smile (kind of) when I woke them. I guess that in their situation, they are just happy to see a doctor no matter the time.
- For example, Friday night we were doing some admits and we came across patient 1163 who apparently had been there since early that morning and had yet to see any doctor. Upon review of his chart we could see that patient 1163 had been sent to the surgical floor for "probable appendicitis". However, upon actually talking with the patient it was easy to conclude that he was not in fact suffering from appendicitis. We brought light to the problem surrounding patient 1163 and shortly thereafter his file disappeared. Last I heard he was moved to Urology. I wonder how long he had to wait Saturday to see a doctor.

We got home shortly after 8am Saturday morning and I set off to make good use of my weekend. This weekend went by soooo fast! This could be due to the fact that I spent more time than normal sleeping. Slept plenty Saturday night, and then ended up falling asleep for a nap today....twice! and I never take naps! So didn't make as much progress on my mental list as I'd wanted, but at least I'm ready for another week!

Hasta!

Yo estoy picada.

2011-02-10T16:48:00.002-06:00

Mom, Dad, I don't know how to say this, but...your daughter has HIV. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! No just kidding, I'm not serious...I hope. I was closing the patient in surgery today and poked my thumb. It happened so fast that I didn't even see it. I felt it but had finished a whole other suture before I realized that it really happened. I feel so incredibly stupid! My first time ever stitching human skin and I stick myself. So stupid! I was doing a subcutaneous closure, but as it's the only I've ever actually done I can't even compare and say that it's a harder stitch. oye! So far I was taking baby steps, but at least they were in a forward direction. Today appears as if I turned around and leaped as far back as I could go. Oh well, every doctor eventually sticks themself right?! I just got mine over with quick!! (Just agree with me and make me feel better!)

Being at the IMSS everyday, sometimes longer than others, I feel as if I'm looking at my future. A future of tired. In between surgeries, the doctor and resident above me pick a spot in our OR and close their eyes. The resident goes as far as to throw a sheet or something on the floor and actually lay down.

Hasta!

Yo estoy tratando abrir mis ojos.

2011-02-09T22:34:00.003-06:00

I DIDN'T FAINT!!!!!! DIDN'T EVEN GET LIGHTHEADED!!!!!! Maybe I can be a surgeon afterall. With my very lightheaded track record I had no idea what to expect today, but Gracias a Dios! I walked out of the OR after the patients for once.

Apparently having done one successful blood gas draw qualified me to teach someone else how to do it today!

Every third day we have to stay for a long shift. We were assigned long shifts today. Since there's 9 UAG students at the hospital and 3 of us are girls it works out well for the 3 of us to work together (me, Anjuli, and Jennifer). Unfortunately we had to start off today, meaning I wouldn't get home until about 20 minutes before Bible study is scheduled to start, and I had nothing prepared. Anjuli and Jennifer both attend Bible study and they offered to help. So we split it. I have a New Testament in my backpack so during a down time we passed it around. I figured if we could each quick put something together for about 10 min, we'd end up with 30 min and be good to go. Ended up that for the first time ever Bible study was all girls, and typically girls excell at talking. Needless to say, God can bless even the smallest efforts to worship Him!

Hasta!