Estoy estudiando.

I was looking at a calendar today. And like being knocked on the head.. that sudden burst of stars and your eyes loose focus... it suddenly hit me. Realization. The in-service exam, the ABSITE, is in one week.  As in just 7 days, one week.

It's an understatement to say I'm not ready. It's very disheartening.  Knowing that even if I did actually have time to study... I wouldn't be able to give them the exceptional scores they would need to say, "Stay."

Funny as it seems I've been in this situation before. And as I did then, I will do now.  I'll just keep studying and trusting.  God is in control.  Always was and Always will be.

Much Love.

Estoy cansada.

My trauma chief gave me two full days in a row off this weekend. I can't remember the last time that happened. It was very nice of her.  Now... she regrets that decision. A surgery team is held together by the work of the interns.  Without an intern the work falls to the senior....and they are subsequently reminded why the intern doesn't ever get two days in a row off but rather works every weekend and every holiday.

Our patients on the trauma list have been more or less on the dramatic edge of the curve this month.  Well, not so much completely the patients themselves but rather their families have been more dramatic. One such family using specifically chosen words in their heated ventings that clue us all in to the inevitable probability that a lawsuit is brewing. It doesn't particularly effect how I react towards them or the patient. But it is disheartening, knowing that the patient arrived basically already dead. Is alive today because of the care provided.  And yet somehow that's worthy of being sued.

75% of the time in healthcare, treatment of a patient includes treatment for the family as well.  It's not enough that the patient understands; the family must also understand.  No question is silly. No fear is diminished or ignored. And if necessary, you will repeat 'He won't walk again' as many times as they need.

It's going to be another exhausting week. I can feel it brewing in the freezing rain outside making the cars all over Westchester County slip and slide. Going to have to step up my performance at the hospital.

Much Love.

Estoy equivocado.

Trauma rotation is going much easier this time around. Last September, the Trauma List was making records with it's length. It's currently not even close to those numbers. And my co-intern..well figured out what that problem was.  Started and ended with myself of course, and my need to exhibit less judgement and more grace.

Rotating with an orthopod keeps things interesting. The other day we were looking at a patient's Head CT scan, and he pipes up, "What organ is that?"  Granted, he was being facetious.  But, you get the picture. :)

Much Love.

Estoy terca.

Back on the trauma team at Westchester!  My co-intern is actually one of the orthopedic interns who is rotating with us this month. I knew the guy before.  I knew the basics.  He likes efficiency. He works fast. He follows through on his patients.  I knew enough to make me thankful we were to be on a team together.  And all of that held up as true today.  But I also realized something else.  I am going to end up with some rather large goose eggs growing out of my head.  Because... We butt heads.  What makes it awkward though is the fact that he doesn't let it go.  For the most part it's something menial, and therefore I immediately try to back track out of the situation.  But whether I've said anything or not, once he's seen the look on my face he stops and perseverates on the topic.  As if he's trying to convince me into agreement or something.  I'm much more inclined to simply side-step and move on, especially on something that bares no value on patient care anyways.  But I sit quiet and let him talk till he feels better and then we can continue on. There was once that I did speak up for my viewpoint though.  It was just after he had chastised a nurse for asking me a question about one of our patients.  That one was actually interfering in patient care.  And, to paraphrase, I told him he wasn't being very nice.

I recognize that to butt heads, both parties involved have to be stubborn. I'm praying that I can recognize potential situations before they happen. If I can't, that I can gain better control of my facial expressions.

At this point I feel we both have enough respect for one another that we'll be able to work together effectively and efficiently enough.  But it's just annoying.  Another lesson in flexibility awaiting me this month I guess.

Much Love.